


How Many Roads Between Your World and Mine?

by PhantomGirl1731



Series: The Ballad of Case Howlett and Bucky Barnes [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2020-07-30 05:44:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20092225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomGirl1731/pseuds/PhantomGirl1731
Summary: The year is 2014. Roughly seven months ago, it was confirmed Bucky Barnes was in fact still alive and had been kept by Hydra as the Winter Soldier, working as their secret weapon for the better part of the last seventy years. Other than a random sighting in the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian, nobody has seen or heard from him since. Although Case Howlett would swear on her life that she caught a familiar scent in the air a few times before something or someone dove back into the shadows…





	1. The Road Between

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the next installment of “The Ballad of Case Howlett and Bucky Barnes”. This one is a bit more modern day, set within the “Flashbulb Memories” timeline.  
Title comes from the song "The Road Between" by Lisa Marie Presley, and it's also the song Case is singing along to in this first chapter. I own no rites to the song, just borrowing it for a bit.  
The story will focus mainly around Case and Bucky, but the other Avengers will surface from time to time in the story.  
Any constructive criticism is always appreciated.  
I hope you enjoy.

* * *

**May 2014 – Washington DC**

“You’re not done with him yet, are you?” 

“Old habits die hard I guess,” Case admitted. They were standing in the Smithsonian, more specifically in the Captain America exhibit, while the black and white image of their friend Bucky Barnes stared off into space.

Both were trying their best not to turn back and return the stare they were receiving from the flesh and blood Bucky Barnes behind them.

Case gave a sigh as she added, “But I’ve waited this long for him, what’s another decade?”

“Gonna grow old waiting.”

“Meh…Mom and Dad haven’t changed much in the last seventy years. I like my chances.”

“I guess,” Ryder nodded. Then he frowned, “Wait…Mom?”

Case grimaced, “Yeah…uh…that’s the conversation you’re not going to enjoy.” She looked back at the alcove, but the assassin was gone.

Ryder looked back, then looked to Case, “I think we need to go pay a visit to Dad.”

“Yeah, probably,” Case told him, and the two headed for the exit. She paused for a moment at the picture of her and Bucky, and asked, “Were the guys really that interested in our love life?”

“Well after Dum Dum woke up in the middle of the night to some high-pitched giggles,” Ryder pointed out, “He wondered if you two weren’t sneakin’ around behind our backs. There was some debate whether Bucky had snuck in one of the other dancers from the show…but Morita claimed he heard the same giggles coming from Bucky’s tent a few months later.”

Case felt her cheeks go red, and rubbed at her arm as she mumbled, “Bucky liked torturing me, what can I say?”

“Nothing, since that was one of his favorite pastimes growing up,” Ryder shook his head, “Why should adulthood be any different?”

* * *

**Six Months Later **

**November 2014 – Washington DC**

_“Out on the road between nowhere and hell,”_ Case crooned softly as she unlocked the door to her apartment, mint-colored cords trailing from her jacket pocket to her ears. _“I caught a glimpse of my reflection in you…”_

Moonlight was streaming through the windows; she’d just gotten back from a simple extraction mission with the salvaged bits of SHIELD, and after getting cleaned up she’d hopped on her bike and headed to her apartment in DC. She’d planned on spending the bulk of the weekend alone, catching up on some reading and relaxing.

She placed her bag on the floor by the end table and dropped her keys in the bowl. She didn’t look up as she sorted her mail, separating the bills from the junk.

_“But they can’t believe I still want you around…”_ She continued singing softly, _“Hung on the line between addiction and this…oh I can’t believe you said I’ve hurt you again—”_

The knock at her door was unexpected, and Case checked her watch with a frown – two-thirty AM. There was no reason for any visitors – Tony said he was spending the next twenty-four hours in his lab, Barton was off…doing whatever Barton did on his nights off, Natasha was on a mission with Ryder, and Sam and Steve were chasing down yet another lead on their Lean Mean Russian Machine. 

Case made a mental note to smack Ryder for that description.

She _did_ have plans with Pepper, but those weren’t until later in the morning…so who the in the world would be knocking on her door?

With her hand curled into a fist ready to extend her claws, Case proceeded to open the door to her late-night visitor.

When she looked up at the man on the other side, she folded her arms across her chest with a frown, “I didn’t order any Russians.”

He hesitated, looking around the hallway for a moment, then asked, “Is this a bad time?”

“Well it’s now…” Case checked her watch again, “Two forty-five in the morning…but between the two of us we’ve never had good timing so come in,” She added, stepping to the side.

He walked in, boots making little noise as he crossed over the threshold. He was silent for a few minutes, apparently taking time to scope the place out, or so she assumed.

Case kept her back to him, sighing as she pressed her forehead against her door when she closed it. So much for a quiet weekend at home…

“This is…uh…nice place…”

“Yeah…amazing what you’ll see when you’re not hiding in the closet.”

“Oh…right…”

“What do you want, Bucky?” Case asked, eyes shut tight, face still resting against the door.

“I uh…I got your letter.”

“I’d hope so…I stuck it to your arm with a very strong magnet.”

“I can’t get it off my hand…”

Case finally turned to face him. He was wearing the same black baseball cap he’d worn the last time she saw him and was bundled up in a black jacket that was zipped up to his neck, with a brown hood draped over his shoulders.

He held out his left palm that was housed in a black leather glove. Stuck in the middle was a magnet in the shape of Steve’s shield, “Yeah, those things are a menace…here…” With a small grunt she pried the magnet away from his palm, then slapped it on her left thigh, where it stuck.

Bucky cocked an eyebrow, “How did you do that?”

“Metal skeleton, remember?” Case said, wiggling her fingers. “And those magnets stick to _anything _metal.”

“Oh right…the…adamantium,” Bucky murmured.

“Yeah,” Case nodded. She sighed and headed for the kitchen as she said, “Are you thirsty? I don’t really have much at the moment, I just got back from a mission—”

“I remember!” Bucky suddenly blurted.

Case was at the refrigerator, staring into the emptiness and stopped mid-sentence. She closed the door and turned to face him, “Remember what?”

Bucky hesitated, and then answered, “Everything.” When she moved toward the counter to get a better view of him, he added, “Mostly everything…maybe…there’s still a lot of blank spots…but everything’s been coming back to me slowly but surely.”

Case folded her arms and rolled her eyes, “Mazel Tov.”

Bucky flinched at that, “Case, I—”

“Why are you here?” Case finally asked. “You won’t show up when Steve or Ryder are around, but you’ve been skulking around in the shadows for the last six months…why show up _now_?”

“I needed…” Bucky hesitated again, seeming to choose his words carefully. “I needed to get my head on straight…but I remembered…” He looked at his boots then back at her, “I just…I had some questions…that’s all.”

Case blinked at him, “You followed me around for _months…_just to ask me some questions?”

“Not…not exactly…”

“Why didn’t you just walk up to me?”

“It’s not like you were ever _alone,_ and if you were it wasn’t for very long…between that guy that flies around in the metal suit, and his redhaired girlfriend, the guy with the wings…oh, and let’s not forget Natalia!”

“Natalia…oh, you mean Natasha.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Bucky nodded, “And strangers…the guy and the scarf…that girl and the picture of what’s his face—”

“Paul Walker?”

“Yeah…watching that caused me to get flashbacks to you and Becca go back and forth about…I dunno, some famous guys from back in the day—”

“And that relates to this situation…how?”

“You giggle and blush like you’re a teenager again.”

Case’s cheeks turned red, and she grit her teeth for a few moments. Through clenched teeth she asked, “What are your questions?”

Bucky looked away from her again, and he mumbled, “Were we…were we together?”

“I guess you could say that,” Case admitted. “We never told anyone what we were doing, though apparently many suspected.”

“I saw that at the museum,” Bucky admitted.

“But we didn’t really…we never had that conversation,” Case explained. “We just…we flirted, we kissed…”

“We did more than just kiss,” Bucky pointed out, “If my memories are right.”

“Very true,” Case agreed.

“And you didn’t think I could handle a committed relationship,” Bucky added.

Case cringed, “You remember that, huh?”

“I’ve got a lot of stuff back over the last couple of months,” Bucky explained. “Right now, a lot of it’s just sorting through what was real and what isn’t…figured my memories of you would be better coming from the source.”

“I owe you an apology for that—”

“I did go through a lot of dames before we started our thing,” Bucky said, “I even had a night on the town with two girls the night I shipped out…both my date and Steve’s.”

“Please tell me Steve had left the date long before you took over,” Case groaned, face-palming as she shook her head.

“I think so…” Bucky said, scratching at the back of his head. “Where were you?”

“I had already left with the USO,” Case explained.

“Ah…”

Case checked her watch, seeing it was already three thirty in the morning. “Hey Buck…” She hesitated, chewing on her lip before she asked, “You got a place to stay?”

Bucky thought that one over, “No…not really.”

“Look, it’s…_really_ late. You wanna just crash here? I’ve got a perfectly good guest room, it’s got a…” she made a face, “It’s got a _relatively_ nice bed…I think it’s a bit on the soft side, but maybe you’ll like it…if you wanna stay at all, of course. No pressure or expectations…”

“I um…” Bucky glanced back at the sofa, “Maybe I’ll just take the couch?”

“Even better,” Case said with a smile, “I know when I have trouble sleeping, I usually crash out here…sometimes the bed’s too soft, you know? Feels like a marshmallow, like I’m gonna sink right to the floor…is it cold in here? Never mind, just let me get you a blanket…”

Case bolted around the corner toward the linen closet, leaving a confused Bucky in her wake. She took a deep breath as she opened the closet door, grabbing a blanket and an extra pillow from the top shelf and bumped the door shut with her hip.

_What’s there to be nervous about? _Case wondered as she walked back to the living room. _It’s just Bucky…it’s not like anything is gonna happen, nor will anyone be able to get past him if anything does…_

When she turned the corner, she saw Bucky had taken a seat on the couch and removed his jacket. He was folding it up, situating it on the armrest of the couch as he got comfortable.

“Uh…Buck…?” Case asked, and when the assassin turned to face her, she held up said pillow, “Maybe you wanna hang that in the closet?”

“Oh…” Bucky said, before hesitantly taking the offered pillow.

“You um…you’ve got a place to stay _somewhere, _right?”

“I get by,” Was the answer as he put the pillow on the armrest and unfolded his jacket.

“Okay…” Case didn’t want to push, and she chewed on her lip and put the blanket on the opposite armrest. “Uh…do you have any guns on you?”

“What’s it to you?”

Case’s eyebrows rose, “It’s my apartment. I don’t care if you keep knives on you, but any guns are to go on the kitchen table.” Bucky opened his mouth to protest, “No, I don’t care. I don’t need any stray bullets to pass through the walls and hit my neighbors.”

Bucky scowled at her, then pulled a pistol out of his jacket pocket, walking over to the kitchen table and ejecting the clip and checking to make sure it was empty before he put it down on the table.

As he took a few steps back toward the couch, Case said, “Buck.”

The assassin sighed and walked back over the table, pulling out another one hidden in the waistband of his jeans, repeating the process to make sure it was empty before he put it on the table.

He was walking away before Case said, “James…come on.”

This one earned her a growl of frustration as he marched back over to the table, hiking up his pants leg and pulling out another pistol. It joined the other three as Bucky turned to Case, received a pointed look, and he pulled the fourth gun out from his other ankle holster.

“Are you satisfied?”

“Very.”

“You said I _can_ keep my knives, right?”

“Yes, you can.”

“Good,” Bucky rolled his eyes and marched back over to the couch, before he moved to stretch out. He was mid position, legs in the air as Case gave a hissing noise and a cringe, “What now?”

“Boots…”

Bucky cast a glare her way before kicking his boots off his feet, one after the other. They both landed with hollow clunks in the middle of the floor.

“That works I guess…” Case admitted, biting her lip for a moment. “I’ll be back…” She stepped around his discarded boots, heading for her bedroom.

She closed the door behind her and ditched her heavy jacket on the bed in favor of the gray sweat jacket that had been tossed amongst the blankets. She sat on the bed and pulled her own boots off, leaving her socks on as she stood and tightened the jacket around her shoulders.

Her father had warned her about the adamantium affecting her body temperature, but she hadn’t imagined it would feel like ice settling into her bones some nights.

She grabbed a red and yellow striped blanket off her bed as well as one of her pillows and walked back into the living room, bypassing the couch with the intention of curling up in her armchair.

Bucky cracked open an eye, “You sleepin’ out here with me?”

“I’m gonna try,” Case said, adjusting the pillow on the chair so she could be comfortable.

“You know your socks match the blanket?”

Case frowned and stretched out a leg, sighing when she realized he was right, “I hadn’t noticed that, but thanks…”

“By the way, what’s a Gryffindor?”

“Good _night,_ James.”


	2. Peace of Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Chapter Two – not much to say about this one, except it’s the next morning.  
I own no rights to “Peace of Mind” – song credit goes to Boston  
I hope you all enjoy the next chapter, and I’ll see you all in chapter three. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

* * *

_“Take a look ahead…take a look ahead…look ahead!”_

Case woke the next morning to sunshine flowing through her windows, guitar music fading into silence, and someone snoring to her left. Frowning, she looked over and saw Bucky curled up as best as he could be on her couch, blanket clutched in his fists and covering him like a burrito.

_So that wasn’t some weird dream,_ Case thought with a yawn. The sunlight was rather warm, and she shed the gray jacket as she reached out and nudged Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky gave a snort then was sitting up like a shot, eyes suddenly wide and gazing around the room.

“Sorry Buck,” Case grimaced.

“What the hell, Case?” Bucky asked with a yawn, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“You were snoring…I was afraid you’d inhale the drapes,” Case rolled her eyes as she sat up.

“I was snoring?”

“Yeah, loudly,” Case told him with another yawn.

A loud banging noise made both nearly jump out of their skin. It repeated for a few moments, then stopped.

Bucky was instantly on high alert and stared suspiciously toward the door. “Were you expecting any guests?”

“No, I…” Case frowned, and placed a hand over Bucky’s forearm to keep him in place. “Just wait…”

That was when music began to play again.

_“Now everybody’s got advice they just keep on givin’, doesn’t mean too much to me. Lots of people out to make believe they’re livin’, can’t decide who they should be, whoa—”_

Case frowned and followed the source of the noise, “That’s my cell phone…”

_“I understand about indecision, but I don’t care if I get behind. People livin’ in competition, all that I want is to have my peace of mind…”_

She got out of the chair and raced back to her bedroom, fumbling with her jacket to find the pocket she’d stored her phone in. Bucky had followed and was standing in the doorway as she pulled the ringing device out.

Her eyes widened as she saw a familiar redhead’s face on the screen. “Shit, I forgot about Pepper!”

“Who?” Bucky asked in confusion.

Case held up her hand in a silencing gesture and slid her thumb across the screen of her phone, “Hey Pepper…”

_“Where the hell are you? Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” _Pepper demanded. She sounded almost panicked on the other end of the line.

“I’m sorry Pepper, I overslept,” Case winced, rubbing at her eyes.

_“Thank god, I thought…” _Pepper said, relief filling her tone as she cut the sentence short, _“Never mind that, could you open the door? I feel awkward waiting out here in the hallway.”_

“Sure…” Case said and made a nervous face at Bucky. “Whatever you say…” she ended the call and said, “Get your stuff and hide in here.”

Bucky was off like a shot, grabbing his boots and jacket before he disappeared back into the bedroom. 

Case slid off to the side as she passed him in the hall, then scanned the living room. She draped the blanket he’d used over the guns on the dining table and opened the door with a yawn, “Sorry…moving a little slowly today. Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“Your insomnia bothering you again?” Pepper asked sympathetically.

“No, just got in really late,” Case admitted. “I was so tired I crashed in my chair, never made it to the bedroom. Anyway…give me a few minutes to get ready…” She booked it for her bedroom, opening and closing the door behind her.

Bucky was sitting on the bed, “My guns—”

“I put a blanket over them…anyone asks I was doing laundry,” Case explained. “Thankfully, Pepper’s known Tony for years…she doesn’t ask too many questions.”

“I didn’t…” Bucky began. “I didn’t know you had any plans—”

“Bucky, it’s fine,” Case assured him and grabbed a few items from her closet, then from her dresser. “Just wait here until we’re gone…you can shower if you want and anything in the fridge is yours,” She paused, and turned to face him, “Uh…unless—”

“I’ll be here when you get back, don’t worry,” Bucky told her.

“Okay…” she gave a nod and headed out the door, closing it behind her. She went to check on Pepper, who’d seated herself on the sofa, reading one of Case’s latest magazines. “Hey, Pep…I’m gonna grab a quick shower and then we’ll go.”

“Alright…say, have you ever cooked any of these recipes?” Pepper asked, indicating the food magazine.

“Working on it…I’m trying to practice my cooking skills, or lack there of as Steve always points out,” Case explained. “So far I’ve been doing pretty good, plus I’ve been working on doubling and tripling the recipes to feed the metabolism of a super soldier.”

“You should cook at the Avengers Tower sometime,” Pepper said. “I’m sure Tony and the others would want to try your cooking.”

“Maybe…we’ll see,” Case gave her a small smile. “I want to make sure I’m not going to give anyone food poisoning before I subject the rest of the team to my cooking.”

Pepper gave a nod then cocked an eyebrow as she caught sight of her leg, “Case…what is that on your leg?”

“What?” Case asked, feeling at her pants leg, “Oh, that’s a magnet.”

“Why do you have a magnet on your leg?”

“Oh uh…” Case bit her lip, “I’ve uh…I got bored. Sometimes I experiment with magnets, if they stick to me with the adamantium. So far, the ones that look like Steve’s shield work the best…anyway, gotta take that shower, I’ll be back!” She raced to the bathroom and shut the door, locking it behind her.

Taking a deep breath, Case put her clothes on the bathroom counter and pried the magnet off her leg, stashing it in one of the drawers of the vanity.

The longest leg of the shower process was waiting for the water to warm up – only in rare instances could she step into a cold shower, and those instances were usually paired with a nasty nightmare – she stripped and was in and out of the shower in less than ten minutes, dressing in a tight gray t-shirt and black pants, forgoing any make up and just running a brush through her hair – she’d kept Pepper waiting long enough already.

After she was done, she raced to her room, opening and closing the door behind her.

Bucky was lying flat on the bed with his flesh arm over his eyes, with his legs bent and feet resting on the floor. It looked like he’d sat down on the edge of the bed then flopped backward.

Case’s mouth quirked up in a small smile as she sat at her desk, pulling on some socks and a pair of boots, then grabbing a dark gray peacoat-style jacket from her closet and throwing it over her shoulders.

_Sweet dreams Buck,_ she thought as she silently grabbed her purse, scribbled a note to Bucky and taped it to the bedroom door.

After casting one last smile to the sleeping man she closed the door quietly behind her and headed out for the day with Pepper.

* * *

Bucky sat up with a gasp, gunshots echoing in his ears. He scrubbed a hand through his hair as he tried to catch his breath.

The room around him wasn’t familiar…neither was the bed he was sitting on.

He squinted in the bright sunlight that was streaming through the window, and he could see the clock on the bedside table read 12:43 – he’d been asleep for maybe 2 or 3 hours…better than he usually got.

With a yawn he got to his feet. Wherever he was, he didn’t feel nervous or anxious…he felt like he was at home, which he found strange to say the least.

He paused at the door, and read the sticky note taped at eye-level.

_Bucky – I’ll be home in a few hours, make yourself at home. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen…I recommend the cinnamon raisin bread – Case. _

_Oh yeah,_ Bucky walked out of the room, the previous night coming back to him. He remembered he sat down on the bed to wait for Case before she left and noticed how soft and comfortable it felt…and then it was a few hours later.

He was a few steps away from the door when he heard keys jingling in the lock. Fighting his first instinct to run back to the bedroom, he froze in the hallway.

The door opened and Case walked in, carrying a Styrofoam box in one hand while she slammed the door with the other. She dropped her keys in the bowl next to the door and silently walked into the kitchen, yanking open the refrigerator door and tossing the foam box inside, before slamming that door shut too.

Bucky took a step forward and caused one of the floorboards to creak.

Case whirled around in a heartbeat, arm raised and claws already out. When she saw him, she sighed and retracted her claws, “Hey Buck…sleep well?”

“Are you alright?”

Case shrugged, “Never better. Why?”

“You’re slamming doors…”

“Don’t worry about it…sorry, didn’t you have more questions?”

“Yeah but…” Bucky chewed on his lip, “You seem…stressed.”

“I’m fine, Buck,” Case said shortly, and walked over to the coat closet. She opened the door and grabbed a hanger, shrugging out of her jacket and hanging it up, closing the door behind her.

“Did that woman upset you?” Bucky then asked.

“No, Pepper didn’t upset me.” 

“Then what’s bothering you?”

“Why do you think something’s bothering me?”

“Because if it wasn’t bothering you, I would’ve gotten a straight answer by now,” Bucky pointed out.

Case scowled at him, then sighed, “We ran into someone…this reporter or…I dunno what she is, but she works for _Vanity Fair_.”

“Okay…” Bucky frowned. He knew what a reporter was at least – he’d had a few in his crosshairs over the years – and that gave him an idea of what the other part was.

“She made some snide comments to Pepper…apparently the woman thinks she’s all big and bad because she had a one-night stand with Tony a few years ago. She _insinuated_ that Pepper slept her way into her CEO position, even though Pepper is _more_ than qualified for the job and has been proving it since Tony gave the job to her…and so _I_ told her clearly sleeping with Tony doesn’t automatically equal promotion since she’s still writing for a shitty magazine instead of running Stark Industries…”

Bucky’s head started to spin as he tried to follow Case’s line of thought, and he had to sit down. He sat on the edge of the sofa, resting his metal elbow on the armrest as he rubbed his temples with his thumb and middle finger. “So…the reporter upset you?”

Case rubbed at her arm, “Kinda…yeah…see when I made my comment, she said that brought her back to her original point in flagging us down. She was asking me about the new man in my life.”

Bucky froze and lowered his arm to look at her properly, _New man? _He’d been following her for the last couple of months, but he wasn’t familiar with a new man. He thought Case was still single.

“Yeah, I was confused as well,” Case told him. “I’m not seeing anyone…haven’t even been out on a date in over a year…after the disastrous blind date Natasha set me up on, I swore off dating actually…”

“Disastrous?”

“Well…that’s a bit extreme…but we’re still friends. He’s a really nice guy, he told me he’s seeing someone new, so I hope it works in his favor.”

That didn’t really help make him feel any better, and as anger flared up the phrase _‘MINE’_ repeated over and over in his head as Bucky growled out, “And the _new_ man?”

Case cocked an eyebrow at him, and she took a seat on one of the barstools across from him as she asked, “You jealous Buck?”

_Jealous…yes, that’s what this feeling is,_ Bucky realized. “No…just…” he chewed on his lip, trying to think of an answer. He’d been free from Hydra for seven months…he came a long way in those seven months, but still words continued to fail him, all he could think of was ‘mine’. “I…”

Case held up a hand, “Don’t strain yourself, Buck, it’s all right. She was asking about my friend Sam.”

“Sam…?” Bucky went through what he knew and remembered about Case. He remembered Steve, Ryder…_Morrison – _that name still filled him with contempt, but he couldn’t remember why – but no Sam. “Who’s Sam?”

“Guy with the wings,” Case explained. “You ripped them apart when we were trying to take down the helicarriers.”

“Oh, _that_ guy,” Him Bucky remembered, he just never got his name. The images of him sitting with Case morphed into vague images of the guy flying, Bucky catching him and ripping one of the wings…

“You okay?” Case suddenly asked.

Bucky blinked, “Huh?”

“You kinda…spaced out there for a minute,” Case told him. “You alright?”

“I uh…I ruined his wings…”

“Yeah, that you did,” Case nodded. “Apparently because I’ve been seen a lot with him a lot of idiots are thinking he’s my new boyfriend.”

Bucky shifted in his seat, “He’s _not_, right?”

Case’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “No, he’s not. On my good days he’s one of my best friends…on my bad days he’s my therapist.” She sighed, and leaned back against the counter, resting her elbows on the surface as she added, “And on my worst days…he’s probably the only one that knows I’ve gone back to hiding in closets.”

Bucky glanced at the closet door, and gave a wince, “I’m—”

“Don’t,” Case cut him off. “Really…don’t worry about it.”

“But—”

“Bucky, please, I don’t want to deal with that today…we can cover that at a later time,” Case sighed. “I’d rather talk about anything _but_ that.”

Bucky gave a nod, then asked, “What happened after…?”

Case blinked and sighed, leaning forward and bracing her elbows against her thighs. “After we got separated?”

“That’s one way to put it,” Bucky admitted. “But…did she…did they…”

“I never got introduced to that chair…not personally anyway,” Case told him. She chewed on her lip for a moment, “Silverfox…she found the chink in my armor…erased my memories with her ability.” She sat up straighter, “Actually, bitch not only erased _you_, but also my love for Queen, _The Fast and the Furious,_ and the memory that I finished _The Goblet of Fire…_that last one I’ve got no clue why it was touched, we never spoke about it.”

“She gave me my memories back…while you were there,” Bucky remembered. “There was something…familiar about her…”

“Yes, I’m sure there was,” Case scowled at him.

The scowl unnerved him – it reminded him a lot of Silverfox, and he cringed as he said, “Please…don’t give me that look.”

“What look?”

“That…that scowl,” Bucky explained. “It reminds me of…”

Case blinked, and the scowl disappeared. She looked like she’d just gotten slapped as she said, “It reminds you of _her_?”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah…it does.”

“I see…” Case said softly, and her lower lip disappeared into her mouth as tears filled her eyes.

“Case…I didn’t mean—” He trailed to a stop when she held up a hand. “Case, I’m sorry, I—”

“Either find a different topic, or this conversation is over,” Case hissed.

Bucky scrambled to find something – he didn’t want to upset her, hadn’t even intended on doing it. “What’s _The Fast and the Furious_?”

_There, that’s a good question,_ Bucky felt a little pride in thinking of it.

Case looked away again, and her shoulders slumped, as a sad look washed over her face.

_Okay, maybe not,_ Bucky’s victorious feeling diminished quickly.

Case cleared her throat, “It’s…it’s a movie franchise I enjoyed…unfortunately, I still haven’t been able to sit down at watch the rest…I’ve only seen the first two.”

“Why only the first two?”

“Part of it’s time…there’s a lot of them, and part of me wants to just fast forward through them to the most recent ones and get it over with,” Case admitted. “But that also kinda makes me sad, and so I’ve been putting off watching them, especially because Tony says I _should_ watch them in order.”

“How many are there?”

“Well, six at the moment…” Case explained. “Number seven’s been…delayed.”

“Delayed?”

“Yeah…one of the leads passed last November…and they were filming number seven when it happened.”

Bucky frowned thoughtfully, “Oh yeah…that came up when you were talking to that girl on the subway.”

“Yeah,” Case nodded. “Also, she was harmless…you could’ve walked up right then and there.”

“And interrupt one of _your_ fans approaching?” Bucky asked, “I think it made her day to know you get schoolgirl crushes just like the next person.”

Case gave a roll of her eyes, “Thanks Buck.”

“I also want an answer to the first question, if you can give it.”

“About what happened after?” Case asked. When Bucky nodded, she explained, “I spent a lot of the next year regaining feeling in the rest of my body…physical therapies, yoga…my flexibility has gone through the roof, by the way. And while I did that, I had to relearn the things Silverfox made me forget…unfortunately, Tony Stark could only help me with my love for Brian O’Conner and Freddie Mercury. You, unfortunately…”

When he saw the tears fill her eyes again, Bucky asked, “What about me?”

“You were buried so deep I couldn’t get you,” Case explained. “Hell…I didn’t even remember talking to Tony about _Two Fast Two Furious_ until _after_ you went after Fury…that memory was sealed tightly as well.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…although that one turned in to a double-edged sword…” Case admitted, and gave a sigh, “Part of me wanted be angry at him for reminding me of what I lost with that movie…but he was just trying to be a good friend…and even he couldn’t have predicted what happened.”

“So, you and this Tony are best friends too?”

“Yeah…he’s the one that flies around in the metal suit,” Case told him. “He’s not a bad guy once you get to know him…I’m surprised the bitch Everheart hasn’t asked if I was dating _him_…though that was probably because I was with Pepper, who _is_ dating him.”

“But you’re not dating anyone…right?”

“We’ve already established that James.”

“Just…just wanted to make sure…I mean for I all I know you made the unattainable blond actor attainable.”

Case cringed at that, “Um…James?”

That was when it finally clicked, and Bucky lost his words again. He tried stuttering out an apology, but Case held up her hand to stop him again.

“Are you hungry?”

Bucky closed his mouth and blinked for a moment. “Huh?”

“Are. You. Hungry?” Case repeated, slower this time.

“I uh…I could eat I guess…” Bucky frowned. “But Case—” 

“I’m gonna make some cinnamon raisin toast…if you’re anything like Steve I’ll probably use the whole loaf at least, but I’m gonna do that,” She got to her feet and walked into the kitchen.

Bucky blinked and got to his feet, “Uh…Case…didn’t you just eat?”

“Didn’t have much of an appetite after that conversation with Christine Everheart,” Case shrugged. “And I can either get depressed because of what happened with Hydra and over the death of a man I never even met, or I can do something constructive and focus on the now and what’s in front of me.” She grabbed the bread bag, “And I’d like to make you Cinnamon Raisin French Toast. I think you might like it…and I’ve been craving it all morning.”

Bucky went to sit down at the kitchen counter, watching as Case grabbed the ingredients. She’d just pulled a carton of eggs out of the refrigerator when Bucky asked, “Cinnamon Raisin _French_ Toast?”

“Yeah.”

Bucky tugged at his collar as he asked, “Uh…Case? Maybe that’s not such a good idea.”

“Why? I’m not going to poison you or anything,” Case told him, then whirled around to face him, “You don’t really think I’d poison you, do you?”

“Not on purpose, no,” Bucky admitted. “But I remember the cake you baked for Steve on his birthday…the charcoal doorstop with red and blue icing…”

Case’s right eye twitched for a moment before she turned back around, muttering, “Jackass…”


	3. Whataya Want from Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And after a bit of a delay, welcome to Chapter Three.  
It goes without saying I don’t own any rights to “Whataya Want from Me” – this one belongs to Adam Lambert.  
Hope you all enjoy this latest update, and as usual constructive criticism is always appreciated.

* * *

**January 15th, 2015**

_You dropped this in Berlin. I hope you don’t mind I used it for a bit – you still have interesting tastes in music. The one that’s set already – I want you to listen to it. I’m sure you have already since it’s in this thing, but it explains things better than I can right now. _

Bucky stood in front of the refrigerator in Case’s apartment, reading the note he’d left for her when he dropped off the iPod a few weeks ago. He’d been in Berlin, watched her and Steve and their winged friend Sam blow up a Hydra base…and then Case had left the blasted thing on the dresser of the room she’d checked out of…which he may or may not have been scoping out to ensure their safety.

He could hear the opening of said song drifting from the bathroom, amidst running water coming from the shower.

_ **Hey, slow it down** _   
_ ** Whataya want from me** _   
_ ** Whataya want from me** _   
_ ** Yeah, I'm afraid** _   
_ ** Whataya want from me** _   
_ ** Whataya want from me** _

Bucky walked over the sofa and sat down, sighing loudly as he buried his face in his hands, trying to figure out a way to explain his absence.

** _There might have been a time_ **   
** _ When I would give myself away_ **   
** _ Oh once upon a time_ **   
** _ I didn't give a damn_ **   
** _ But now here we are_ **   
** _ So whataya want from me_ **   
** _ Whataya want from me_ **

The song was the one he’d mentioned in the note, because it just seemed to fit how he was feeling about the whole situation, because he _couldn’t_…between nightmares and flashbacks and going through a few Hydra bases on his own…he’d wanted to keep Case away from all of that.

** _Just don't give up_ **   
** _ I'm workin' it out_ **   
** _ Please don't give in_ **   
** _ I won't let you down_ **   
** _ It messed me up, need a second to breathe_ **   
** _ Just keep coming around_ **   
** _ Hey, whataya want from me_ **   
** _ Whataya want from me_ **   
** _ Whataya want from me_ **

Seeing her in Berlin made him want to throttle Steve _again_, though this time fully aware of who the star-spangled bastard was – first for running in there swinging that shield and second for allowing Case to tag along into the line of fire.

_“Shit! Shit! Shit!” _he could hear Case snap from the bathroom.

Suddenly the door opened, and the cursing turned into a gasp followed by, _“Cold! Cold! Cold!”_

Bucky turned toward the hall to see Case book it across the room toward the dining room table, rummaging through a cardboard packing box that was sitting there.

This wasn’t unusual, except for Case was dripping wet and wearing absolutely _nothing._

Bucky was trying to think of something to say – anything that the _Old_ Bucky would have said…but he just sat there, gaping like a fish.

Case turned around with a brown bottle and a black pump apparatus in her hands when she froze, turning her head slightly towards him on the sofa, “H-hey, Buck…”

Bucky cleared his throat, “M-maybe I should have called first?”

“That…that might have been a better idea…”

Suddenly he got a boost of self-confidence, and Bucky eyed her up and down, “Superhero work has been rather kind to you, hasn’t it?”

Case’s chest buffed up in anger as her face began turning red. “Stay there!” She snapped then booked it back to the bathroom slamming the door behind her.

Bucky’s eyebrows rose as he stayed in his seat, mulling over the sight he just saw. “Baby you’re beautiful indeed…”

About ten minutes later the water stopped and the music ceased.

Case reappeared in the living room, dressed in a baggy black t-shirt and green flannel pants, dragging a comb through her hair.

Bucky cocked his head, “Since when can you run a comb through your hair so easily?”

“Special conditioner,” Case said, pointing at the box with her comb. “Supposed to make your hair really healthy and soft…dunno if it’s doing that but I can comb it easier, so I’m not complaining.”

“I see…”

Case gave a shrug and tossed the comb on to the table, “Why are you here, James?”

“I wanted to see you.”

“Really,” Case rolled her eyes, “You wanted to see me…you crash on my couch for two days then disappear on me for two_ months_, with no communication whatsoever, to a point I don’t even know if you’re coming back…and _now_ you want to see me?”

“I…I…” Bucky stammered, then pointed toward the kitchen, “I left a note—”

“Two _months,_ James,” Case snapped.

Bucky went back to gaping like a fish.

“Shit Bucky I can’t do this again,” Case gave a sigh and an eye-roll, then plopped down on one of the kitchen stools, giving a yell of surprise as the legs snapped under the strain and she collapsed to the floor.

Bucky was on his feet in an instant, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine James…it’s my pride that’s hurt,” Case gave a grunt as she got to her feet and eased onto the remaining stool.

Bucky gave a nod then sat back down, “Case…I…”

“You what?” Case asked shortly. “Use your words, James.”

“I’m fucking trying!” Bucky finally snapped. He shot to his feet as he continued, “You think this is easy for me? That the last seventy years were a goddamn cakewalk? Between the brainwashing, the mind wipes, adjusting to this metallic monstrosity?” He waived his left arm in the air. “Between Zola and Silverfox—”

“Do _not_ say her name!” Case hissed at him.

“Grow up!” Bucky barked. “You have no fuckin’ clue what it was like in there, Cassidy! None! And then having to piece everything back together? Don’t think just because you were Silverfox’s favorite you got any true idea of what happened in there!”

And then he was scrambling backward and landed hard on the floor when he couldn’t break his fall, red hot pain exploding across his left cheekbone as Case’s fist collided with his face.

“You will _never_ say that bitch’s name in my home,” Case growled, both hands still clenched into fists. “I speak at least ten languages fluently…I have yet to find the words that can properly express the level of hatred I have reached for that woman.” She noticed the bruise starting to form on his face, “Fuck…let me get you an icepack.”

Bucky blinked at her in shock. He touched his face, cringing slightly at the sore spot, “You hit me.”

“Not the first time, Buck,” Case called from the kitchen. She came back with a small blue icepack, and said, “Here…this should help…”

Bucky pressed it to his face, still not sure how to respond.

“I’m sorry Buck,” She added quietly, plopping down beside him. “I just…I can’t talk about her…I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. I mean…the shit she did to you alone…” She looked him in the eye, “How the hell am I supposed to forgive all that?” She sighed, and scrubbed a hand over her face, “And I’m sorry for…you know,” She raised her fist.

Bucky nodded, trying to gather his words again. Even he was surprised about the outburst – usually when he panicked words failed him, he hadn’t expected to go off on Case like that. “What did you mean…you can’t do this again?”

Case sighed, “We…back then…I don’t know about you, but I didn’t know what we were. We were friends…we were family…lovers, technically. After you fell, Ryder told me you loved me…but you never once said it to my face.” She hugged her knees to her chest, “I can’t be in that limbo again, Buck, I need a definitive answer.”

“Case…I can’t…” Bucky whispered. He wanted to promise her the world, but there were still too many unknowns in his life. “What are you looking for?”

“Right now?” Case asked, and when Bucky nodded, she said, “I need to know you’re coming back. If you don’t want to…that’s fine too, I guess. It’ll hurt, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Just don’t walk out that door without telling me if you plan to be back.”

“What will that solve?”

“It’ll tell me if you don’t come back then at a certain point it’s time to worry,” Case explained. “I’m not asking for a schedule, anything concrete…just a simple goodbye and if you’re coming back or not. I don’t wanna sit here waiting on someone that’s got no intention of returning.”

Bucky mulled that over, “I can’t make any guarantees as to when I’ll be back.”

“Just as long as I know you’re coming back.”

After a few moments of silence, Bucky nodded, “Okay.”

Case gave a loud sigh, sounding like she was deflating. “I’m sorry Bucky.”

Bucky tossed the icepack to the side, watching the rubbery bag flop to the ground. He didn’t respond to Case, just got to his feet and started walking toward the bathroom. He grabbed the iPod from the speakers and walked back out to sit next to Case, where she’d pressed her back against the base of the counter.

He unlocked the iPod and carefully held the device in his left hand while he slid his right thumb across the screen, gently pressing the volume button to make sure it was up as high as it could go, mumbling, “There we go…”

** _Yeah, it's plain to see_ **   
** _ That baby you're beautiful_ **   
** _ And there's nothing wrong with you_ **   
** _ It's me, I'm a freak_ **   
** _ But thanks for lovin' me_ **   
** _ Cause you're doing it perfectly_ **

“You must’ve listened to this song a lot if you can track where that part was.”

“And I can see you still have it set on repeat.”

That just got him an eye-roll in response.

_ **There might have been a time** _   
_ ** When I would let you slip away** _   
_ ** I wouldn't even try but I think** _   
_ ** You could save my life** _

Bucky put the device on the coffee table between them, listening to the song coming from the tiny speakers.

“You know, the thing you pulled it from also functions as speakers,” Case pointed out.

Now it was Bucky’s turn to roll his eyes.

_ **Just don't give up** _   
_ ** I'm workin' it out** _   
_ ** Please don't give in** _   
_ ** I won't let you down** _   
_ ** It messed me up, need a second to breathe** _   
_ ** Just keep coming around** _   
_ ** Hey, whataya want from me** _   
_ ** Whataya want from me** _   
_ ** Whataya want from me** _

Bucky eyed her hand where it was resting at her side. He hesitated, then slowly put his right hand over hers.

Case turned her hand and grabbed hold of his, and Bucky froze, muscles going tense.

“Case…” He whispered.

_ **Just don't give up on me** _   
_ ** I won't let you down** _   
_ ** No, I won't let you down** _

Case gave a brief nod, her shoulders slumping slightly in defeat as she let go, resting her hand back on the floor, just letting his hand sit on hers and Bucky relaxed.

_ **So** _   
_ ** Just don't give up** _   
_ ** I'm workin' it out** _   
_ ** Please don't give in** _   
_ ** I won't let you down** _   
_ ** It messed me up, need a second to breathe** _   
_ ** Just keep coming around** _   
_ ** Hey, whataya want from me** _

Bucky took a deep breath then tucked his palm under hers, lacing their fingers together.

That was one of his unknowns, one of his struggles. It had nothing to do with the punch she’d thrown – although he knew they’d have to address it eventually. He didn’t always like being touched, and sometimes it made him panic.

Case shot him a questioning glance, but he gave her a nod and squeezed her hand.

She gave him a small smile and closed her eyes as she leaned back, relaxing against the wall.

_This is okay, take it slow,_ Bucky told himself, leaning back against the wall. There was no rush for anything else…they had all the time in the world.

_ **Just don't give up** _   
_ ** I'm workin' it out** _   
_ ** Please don't give in** _   
_ ** I won't let you down** _   
_ ** It messed me up, need a second to breathe** _   
_ ** Just keep coming around** _   
_ ** Hey, whataya want from me** _   
_ ** (Whataya want from me)** _   
_ ** Whataya want from me** _   
_ ** Whataya want from me** _

As the song wound down, Case asked, “Hey Buck?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you one more thing in all this?”

“What’s that?”

“Promise me…” Case hesitated. “Don’t just disappear in the middle of the night. If you have to leave…just always say goodbye first, okay?”


	4. All Filler No Thriller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *blows the dust away*  
And after that extensive delay, here comes Chapter Four – writer’s block is a real bitch.   
Constructive criticism is always appreciated, I hope you guys enjoy this latest update.

* * *

**February 13th, 2015**

Becca Barnes Proctor gave a yawn as she checked the clock on her bedside table. She squinted in the light as she read the numbers, 2:45 AM.

The event that had awoken her was the ringing of her doorbell combined with a hand banging on the metal security door downstairs.

_They’d better have a damn good reason for waking up a ninety-year-old woman like this,_ Becca grumbled as she fumbled in the dark for her cane.

She cursed under her breath as she made her way toward the stairs, gripping the railing with one hand and the handle of her cane with the other, yelling out “I’m coming!” when she heard the knocking and banging getting more insistent.

When she reached the door, she yanked it open, “What the hell do you…_Bucky?_”

* * *

About an hour later, Becca sat at her kitchen table, rubbing at her temples as she cast a tired glare at Bucky, who was carrying a silver laptop under his right arm and giving her his ‘I’m sorry please forgive me I’m cute’ smile – something she thought she’d seen the last of decades ago.

The smile made her anger fade slightly. _Maybe it’s a good sign he’s giving that smile,_ Becca thought.

This wasn’t the first time her formerly dead older brother showed up on her doorstep in the middle of the night…and what a sight that had been the first time, she’d fainted dead on the spot. After she came to with Bucky standing over her, the first thing she’d told him was that no one was to know she’d fainted.

He hadn’t gone into too many details of where he’d been – didn’t remember, he’d said, and what he _did_ remember it wasn’t anything good. The look in his eyes told more than he probably had meant to, so Becca hadn’t pushed for any further details. Bucky _did _ask a few questions about their childhood, though, and about their family. It wasn’t a very lively visit, Becca had spent most of the time talking while Bucky had sat in the chair like a statue, a look of confusion and detachment on his face.

It broke her heart to watch though, and she’d sobbed for hours after he’d left.

The second visit Bucky had seemed like he remembered a little more, and he’d asked about Case. More specifically, his relationship with her.

_“There’s not much I can say about that,” Becca had said. “She kept that very close to the vest. She was head over heels for you, that we all knew.”_

_“But I remember—”_

_“You two had _something_ going on, she’s confirmed that. Says she couldn’t define it as a relationship, because she didn’t know. But any questions you have, you’ll have to ask her.”_

Which brought them to this visit, and Becca had her suspicions on where Bucky got that laptop he was holding. “You know it’s rude to wake someone up in the middle of the night for stupid shit, right?”

“Case doesn’t mind,” Bucky pointed out.

Becca took a deep breath to try and word her response carefully. Lack of sleep _and_ caffeine would have her spitting out a rather unkind answer with regards to her oldest friend. “Whether she minded or not Case would still plaster a smile on her face and do _anything_ as long as it meant she was doing it for you.”

_Maybe not the best answer,_ Becca thought once she’d finished.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” Bucky mumbled, now hugging the computer to his chest.

The smile faded into the kicked puppy look, and Becca sighed, “Bucky, I’m sorry, I’m just…I’m tired. I’m an old lady, I need my sleep.”

“I’m older than you.”

Becca cocked an eyebrow at him, “But better preserved.” When a horrified look washed over his face, she added quickly, “Joke, it was a joke! Bucky, I’m sorry I didn’t mean—”

With a trembling hand Bucky put the laptop on the table as he took a seat, taking a deep breath.

“Right, that’s it, just breathe,” Becca added in a calm voice.

“I’m fine…” Bucky said quietly. “I’m fine I just…” He cleared his throat, “Sorry…”

“No, I’m sorry,” Becca told him. “I didn’t…why do you have that computer?”

Bucky looked down at it, “It’s Case’s.”

“I figured.”

“She…she said I could use it,” Bucky explained.

“Bout time she learned how to share her toys,” Becca added.

“She left this note,” Bucky finished, pulling a folded note from the breast pocket of his shirt and sliding it across the table.

Becca frowned thoughtfully before grabbing the note and opening it, reading aloud, “_‘James. My home is your home. Anything you need – bed, shower, food, help yourself. The password to the laptop is your birthday. I’ll be home as soon as I can. Cassidy.’_” Her eyebrows rose as she continued, “_‘PS, the guy on the screen is _that_ guy. Tony set it after…everything. Now you can put a face to the not-name.’_” She put the paper down, “Who is ‘_That_ Guy’?”

“Some actor that Case had a crush on,” Bucky said absently. “That’s not the point…the point is…I can’t get in.”

“Sure, you can, she said it’s—”

“I don’t know what that is!”

Becca stopped mid-sentence, “What?”

Bucky looked ready to fall apart and there were actual tears in his eyes as he said, “I don’t know when my birthday is! Hell, half the time I can barely remember my own _name_ unless I write it down…and you expect me to remember my _birthday_?” he shoved his fingers through his hair, his gaze now going to the table as he took a breath to calm himself down.

“March tenth, nineteen-seventeen.”

Bucky blinked at her, “Huh?”

“The day you were born,” Becca explained, “March tenth, nineteen-seventeen. You’ll be ninety-eight this year…and you’re a Pisces.”

“A Pisces?”

“Yep, a water sign,” Becca nodded. “Hand me the computer, I’ll show you.”

Bucky stood and put the computer in front of Becca, who typed in the numbers but was told the password was incorrect.

“That doesn’t make any sense…” Becca frowned, “I know I’m old but still…maybe she spelled it out…?”

Bucky looked over her shoulder, then after the fifth attempt he said, “You’re doing it wrong.”

“What?”

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“No, no, I’m not doing it wrong,” Becca protested. “I _know_ when your birthday is! Case put it in the letter, and I know _she_ knows when your birthdate is!”

“That’s not what I meant.”

When he didn’t elaborate, Becca’s jaw clenched, “And what _did_ you mean, James?”

Bucky blinked, “Ten, M-A-R, one-nine-one-seven.”

Becca didn’t say anything just typed in the password as Bucky described, and the screen changed to a picture of a blond guy holding his arm out the window of a yellow-green car, flipping someone the bird off camera.

“Ah, Brian O’Conner,” Becca said.

“I thought his name was Paul Walker,” Bucky frowned.

“Well it is, but…never mind, it’s not important,” Becca shrugged. “Let’s see here…ah yes—”

“I think she likes the orange fox one,” Bucky said.

“You wanna drive?”

“Just sayin’…”

Becca rolled her eyes and clicked on the icon and pulled up Google. “Okay…Pisces.”

Bucky cocked his head, “You’re pretty good at that…”

“Wanna keep up with the grandkids and great grandkids,” Becca explained, before tapping on the track pad, “Ahh, here we go. Pisces, from February nineteenth to March twentieth: ‘you are emotional, sensitive, adaptable, wild, compassionate, romantic, imaginative, flexible, intuitive, seductive, introverted, artistic, and charming.’”

“Interesting…”

“‘But you can also be indecisive, moody, lazy, scatterbrained, vulnerable, irrational, and gullible.’”

“Hey!”

“Just one person’s description of the Pisces,” Becca pointed out. “That’s not the only one.”

Bucky just gave a ‘hmph’ noise as he folded his arms with a petulant look on his face.

Becca frowned for a moment, “Look, Bucky…it’s just a bunch of nonsense…some believe in it like it’s fact…but—”

“Not like I can prove it _wrong._”

Becca gave a sigh and rubbed at her temples, before she got to her feet. “I need coffee.”

“Can’t really remember anything…” Bucky added as he resumed his seat, resting his folded arms on the table.

“You know that’s not true,” Becca said, prepping her trusty coffee maker.

“Enlighten me Beck.”

“You remembered me…_eventually,_ but you did,” Becca began, pressing the power button to brew the coffee. “I’ll give you the birthday thing, but you remembered how to write the date.”

“It was military style, Beck, it was pretty easy—”

“For _you_ maybe,” Becca interrupted him.

“So, what are you saying?”

“You remember more than you give yourself credit for.”

Bucky gave a snort of disbelief, “I can remember the first time I saw Case naked but can’t remember my birthday to save my life.”

“Oh, I need more coffee for this,” Becca grumbled, grabbing two mugs out of her cabinet. “Maybe some whiskey…”

“It’s not like I was gonna tell you about it,” Bucky mumbled.

“And let’s keep it that way,” Becca told him, finally turning to face him. “But…that’s something though. You remember moments with Case.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed quietly. His chin was resting on his folded arms, and he was staring at the tabletop.

Becca hesitated, then asked, “You still love her?”

Bucky simply gave a shrug but didn’t answer.

She shook her head, “Some things never change.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means…I don’t know what you want with her,” Becca explained. “And that being said, I don’t know if I should be worried or supportive.”

“Why should you be worried?”

“Well one, because you’re my brother and she’s still one of my best friends,” Becca told him, “Seventy years on ice hasn’t changed that. But you still can’t admit whether or not you’re in love with her.”

“She deserves better than me.”

“Yes, she does…I’ve been telling her that since Malcolm broke up with her,” Becca admitted.

“I was less broken then.”

“You’re not _broken_ James,” Becca snapped. “At least not in the way you’re thinking. You just need to figure out who you are and where you need to go to get to who and what you need to be.” She could hear the coffee finally dripping into the glass carafe, and she added, “But you’re also not realizing something.”

“Like what?”

Becca sighed, and when the coffee finished, she poured it into the two mugs, taking one and placing the other in front of Bucky’s arms, before resuming her seat across from him. “Why do you think Case deserves better?”

“Is this a trick question?”

“Nope,” Becca said as she sipped her coffee.

“She deserves someone who…who knows who he is. Who’s not…who hasn’t…” Bucky looked up at Becca, and tears were back in his eyes as he struggled to get the words out. “I’ve done a lot of horrible things, Beck…things you can’t even imagine.”

“So that means…what?” Becca asked. “Because you’ve done horrible things you don’t deserve to be happy?”

Bucky sighed, “I’m not the Bucky she fell in love with.”

“And you think she’s the Case you fell in love with?”

Bucky frowned, “Of course she is.”

Becca gave a snort, “You really are an idiot.”

“Jesus Rebecca you just don’t get it!” Bucky roared, getting to his feet. “You don’t know what the hell happened! You don’t _know—_”

“You’re right, I don’t,” Becca said calmly, taking another sip of her coffee. “I don’t know what happened to you. I can tell it wasn’t anything good…but I have a vague idea of what happened to Case.”

Bucky swallowed roughly, “What do you mean?”

“Well, for starters, Case lived one of her worst nightmares by Steve crashing the _Valkyrie_,” Becca started. “Not to mention she, Ryder, and Steve were found years later. They’d missed out on seventy years of their _lives_, missed out on meeting my kids, my husband…there’s not a lot of us left from back then, you know. I mean, me, Case’s friend Viola, Malcolm—”

“Freakin’ Morrison,” Bucky grumbled.

“Peggy Carter, who’s in rough shape from what Case has been saying,” Becca added. “But aside from that…when they came out of the ice, it was no secret that Case and Ryder were mutants. All their secrets were aired out like dirty laundry. And it doesn’t matter that they’re members of the Avengers, some people _still_ don’t wanna trust them based on that fact alone.”

“That’s why they kept it a secret,” Bucky remembered. “Logan knew what people were like toward mutants.”

“Yeah,” Becca said quietly. “You know some of them say they’re dangerous…Case and Logan with their claws and Ryder with his hypnosis.”

“They should be thankful they’re fighting for the good guys.”

“Well they’re not,” Becca pointed out. “But that’s…sorry I got a bit derailed there. But because the secrets are out…Case has gotten more reckless.”

“More reckless?”

“You ever heard of YouTube?”

“Sounds familiar…”

“Let me show you a few things,” Becca said, going back to the computer, unlocking it and pulling up the webpage. As she pulled up one of the videos, she hesitated, “Bucky…what are your intentions toward Case?”

Bucky sat back down so he could see the screen, “When did you become Logan?”

“I’m serious, James.”

He sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck, “I want to be with her…I just don’t know if I can.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everything that happened…what if we can’t move past that? Or…what if we’ve changed so much, we can’t make anything work?”

“Then you know,” Becca explained. “Just…if I can give you some advice?”

“Maybe…”

“Take things slow…and don’t make the same mistakes as last time.”

“I’m not sure I remember what those were.”

“Trust me on this, Case remembers _all_ of those,” Becca told him. “Take things slow and talk to each other, and you should be just fine.”

Bucky gave a sigh and looked away from her, and whispered, “What if that’s not enough?”

Becca wasn’t sure if he’d meant for her to hear it, but she quietly said, “Just be careful, Buck.”

Bucky stayed silent as Becca then pulled up the video, and his eyebrows went up when he saw the screen, “_‘The Siren’s Most Death-Defying Stunts’?_”

“Compilation one of four,” Becca added, clicking the play button on the screen.

Bucky watched the video in silence, and when it had ended, he reached out with his right hand and gently closed the panel.

“Bucky?”

“There’s three other videos?”

“That we know of,” Becca explained. “People put _anything_ up on YouTube these days.”

Bucky got to his feet then headed for the door, ranting and raving but not speaking a word of English nor French.

Becca watched as he disappeared into the hallway, still yelling at the top of his lungs. “Bucky cussing up a storm because of something stupid Case did…” she reached for his ignored coffee mug, and began drinking, “Some things never change.”


	5. How You Remind Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I have an update! For the record, writer’s block is still a bitch.   
I hope you enjoy chapter five – while the song is not actually used in this chapter, I pulled the title from “How You Remind Me” by Nickelback. Although, if I had to put a song to the chapter, I would probably use the cover by Avril Lavigne, the tempo for that version sets a better tone for the story.   
To set the scene, this chapter takes place right after the ending of Chapter 16 of “Flashbulb Memories”  
Anyway, constructive criticism is always appreciated, and I will get to work on Chapter Six.

* * *

“Where do we start?”

Bucky took a deep breath through his nose, trying very hard not to scream…although he certainly wanted to. 

He had wanted to ask her about the drawing on her nightstand – it had them both in the picture, with him in his old army uniform and Case in her showgirl dress from the roadshow, or so the exhibit from the Smithsonian said.

When he’d gotten back to the apartment and found _that_ video though…it derailed all other thoughts. All he could think of was, “Why?”

Case blinked up at him, “Why what?”

“You could’ve…” Bucky chewed on his lip, “You…that _thing—_”

“That _thing_ swung a mutant who is ninety-nine percent indestructible into the air,” Case told him. “Anything that would’ve been damaged would’ve healed over time…nothing was going to happen.”

“Nothing was going to happen?” Bucky repeated.

“Correct,” Case said with a nod. “Look, Bucky, what do you expect when this is my line of work? It’s going to _keep_ happening…I work with the Avengers; I have a healing ability…it’s going to get used. I’m not going to sit on the sidelines like some damsel in distress when there’s people to help and creatures like that thing to stop.”

_Jesus Cassidy, you’re gonna get yourself killed one day,_ Bucky thought bitterly, even going so far as to mumble it under his breath in Russian.

“I survived the Valkyrie crash and a Hydra-sanctioned ass-kicking,” Case rolled her eyes, slowly getting to her feet. “I think I’ll be okay.”

Bucky blinked as Case limped to the kitchen, “What was that?”

“What was what?” Case asked, opening the refrigerator.

“You understood me?”

_“Ya svobodno govoryu na yazyke,”_ Case said as she took stock of the contents of the fridge. _“Russkaya frikadel'ka,” _she added under her breath.

“I heard that!”

“Good.”

With an eyeroll of his own, Bucky grumbled out, “Since when do you speak Russian?”

Case closed the refrigerator and hopped over to the counter, a thoughtful frown on her face, “Since…always I guess.”

“Always?” Bucky repeated. “I thought you only knew English and French.”

“Nope, we just spoke that in front of you and Steve,” Case explained. At Bucky’s confused look, she pinched at her nose, “James, my dad was eighty-six when we were _born…_you don’t think he picked up a few tricks along the way?”

“So, you’re fluent in Russian?”

“Didn’t we just establish this?” Case rolled her eyes. “I already told you I speak multiple languages fluently…I’m sorry I didn’t clarify that Russian was one of them—”

“And when did you suddenly start enjoying motorcycles?”

“Probably after the Battle of Manhattan…I was still a little leery of them until that point, but after riding around on a Chitauri aircraft that shoots lasers, I figured maybe it was time to branch into something new.”

“Chi-_what_?”

“Chitauri,” Case repeated.

Bucky blinked for a few moments before he remembered reading about the Battle of Manhattan. The newly minted ‘Avengers’ had saved the day from the alien invaders, and the world was divided on how to deal with them.

_“And you think she’s the Case you fell in love with?”_ Becca’s words were coming back to haunt him.

“You’re really not…are you?”

“Not what?”

Bucky looked at her, “Did I say that out loud?”

“Yeah,” Case told him, folding her arms and leaning against the counter. “What do you mean? What am I not?”

Bucky gave a sigh, “You’re not the Case I fell in love with.”

If she was insulted by the comment, Case didn’t show it as she mulled it over for a bit. She chewed on her lip and said, “I guess…to an extent that’s true. The Case you knew was twenty-six and had a few less scars under her belt…and no adamantium.” A tear rolled down her cheek, that she hastily wiped away as she sniffled, “She didn’t…”

When she didn’t finish, Bucky frowned, “What?”

She tried to wave him off, “It’s stupid…never mind.”

“I want to know,” Bucky said, sitting down at the counter across from her. “I want…I want to know what’s changed about you. I know who you _were_…”

Case gave a small huff, “You don’t even know who _you_ were.”

Bucky knew he should be angry or at the very least insulted by the comment, but he shrugged it off, “No…but I know you were important to me. And clearly I was important to you.”

That caused another tear to roll down Case’s cheek, and she scrubbed that one away as well, “Yeah…you were. And _are_…I just…” More tears filled her eyes, and she said, “I don’t know how to do this!”

“Do what?”

“This…_us_…” Case clenched her hands into fists, tears still rolling down her cheeks. “When I dated in the past…I had to keep them at a distance. Dad’s golden rule: _‘Don’t tell anyone you’re a mutant’_…I knew eventually if I met someone, they’d have to know at some point…the only person I ever _considered_ telling was Malcolm…and he put the kibosh on that.”

_“She’s in love with_ _you__,_ _Barnes. She was in love with you seventy years ago, and she’s still in love with you now.” _Morrison’s words now came back to him.

“But you…you already knew,” Case went on, not even waiting for Bucky to respond. “I didn’t…I don’t know, I guess I just never expected you to actually look at me that way.”

“But I did…” Bucky said. “I _hated_ seeing you wearing makeup, curling your hair…it didn’t seem like _you_. _My_ Cassidy didn’t do those things, she wore her hair natural and if someone didn’t like the way she looked without makeup then they could go fuck themselves.”

“Says the man who dated the girls that _did_ those things.”

“Yeah, I _dated_ them…I was never in love with any of them,” Bucky countered. “I loved _you!_ I wanted to be with _you!_ But no…I waited, trying to find the right moment. But six months after Morrison, you moved on to Charles. Then when he didn’t work out you moved onto William, who I punched out two weeks after you two split because he said he dumped you when you wouldn’t put out—”

Case’s cheeks turned red and she looked down at the counter instead.

“Which brings us to my buddy Harold, who took one look at you singing on stage in that sleezy bar by the docks—”

“Betty treated me very well, thank you very much!” Case’s head shot back toward him.

“Yes, Betty was a doll, don’t get me wrong!” Bucky agreed, “But he thought you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, which made me want to throttle him right then and there, but _no_, you fucking agreed to go out with him!”

“Yeah, and then as I understand it you throttled him two weeks after _that_,” Case rolled her eyes, folding her arms across her chest.

Bucky folded his own arms as his jaw clenched, “Yeah, I _did_.”

He could picture the scene on the docks. Case had been excited about the new romance, and it had been all he’d heard about for two weeks straight. Seeing Harold just made his blood boil, but it hadn’t been until the topic of sex had come up amongst the others that Bucky had _nearly_ lost his cool.

When the question was asked, Bucky had barked an order for Harold to keep his mouth shut.

_“What for, Barnes?”_

_“Well for one, you’ve never hit the sheets with her, and two—”_

_“And how the hell would you know that we haven’t? I’ll have you know that she’s quite the screamer…had a hard time keeping up with her to be honest.” _

Bucky’s hands clenched into fists at the memory. Even now, Bucky had to remind himself that Case wasn’t that type of girl, and had never done anything with Harold other than kiss him, which was something that she’d come to regret, as she’d _loudly_ pointed out the night she’d dropped him like a sack of potatoes…some men couldn’t handle a strong woman, and unfortunately Harold had been one of them.

Come to think of it, four years after that debacle Bucky had found out that not only was Harold a liar but he was also…_wrong._

When Case came apart like that, she was rather quiet. They’d never truly been _alone,_ in rare instances they might have gotten a few hours of privacy here and there if they were lucky, but mostly there was always someone in the next tent within earshot. Case would let loose the occasional whimper, then occupy her mouth by biting at his shoulders as she dug her fingernails into the muscles of his back…or if she couldn’t keep control, she’d hiss out words in French that would’ve made Harold and the rest of the Howlies blush had they heard any of it.

“What made you hit him?”

“What?” Bucky blinked at her. He’d gotten so lost in his own thoughts and memories that he’d forgotten they were in the middle of a conversation.

“Why _did_ you hit Harold?” Case asked. “You broke his nose, left him with two black eyes.”

“Did he ever say anything about it?”

“Only that you were an asshole and if he never saw you again it would be too soon,” Case explained. “Do you remember why you hit him?”

Oh, Bucky remembered. The guy had _almost_ gotten away unscathed…the rest of the guys had dispersed, and Bucky was getting ready to head home for the night.

_“You sweet on her Barnes?”_

_Bucky didn’t respond, he’d just kept walking. _

_“Probably for the best, after all, Case deserves to be a satisfied woman.”_

Was he proud of it? Only in the sense he’d broken the guy’s nose with one punch.

Did it make him feel better? It _had_ until Case had found out about the hit…she didn’t stop talking to him, but she did cast dirty looks his way for a week.

There might have also been a _tiny_ part of him that wanted to go back and tell that stupid idiot that he’d done what no other man had been capable of.

“Bucky?”

Bucky shook his head, coming back to the present. “Huh?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine…” Bucky chewed on his lip, shaking his head to clear it. Even if he _had _won her heart in the end, Case wasn’t some trophy for him to brag about. A new idea suddenly struck him though, and he said, “Uh…I was just…wondering about something…”

Case cocked an eyebrow, “And what was that?”

Bucky leaned forward and cupped her cheek in his right hand as he pressed his lips to hers. It was just a quick peck, but as Bucky sat back, he grinned when he saw the blush start to spread over her cheeks. His hand remained where it was, thumb stroking gently over the heated skin as he said, “I love it when you blush.”

“Why?” Case asked, her cheeks turning darker.

“It’s sweet,” Bucky admitted. “It reminds me that there’s a soft side of you that’s hiding beneath the surface.”

As his fingers drifted from her cheek toward the back of her neck, gently stroking in a way he remembered she liked, Case’s eyes slid shut. “What are we doing here, James?” she asked in a quiet voice.

Bucky cocked an eyebrow, “I know it’s been a while for the both of us—”

Case pulled back and rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean, Buck. A month ago, you were saying you couldn’t even promise me you’d be coming back.”

The assassin’s shoulders slumped, chewing on his lip as he lowered his hand to the counter. He missed Case, missed being with her…but she was also right, and he couldn’t very well say much had changed.

Although…it _was_ just a kiss, it’s not like he was going to suggest they run off and get married. “But things _can_ change…and there’s _something_ left, you know it as well as I do.”

“Yeah…but every instinct I have is telling me this is a bad idea,” Case admitted.

Bucky’s gaze went to the counter, and he let out a sigh as he stared at his hand. Nothing _had_ changed…his mind was still full of holes, and he was still trying to sort through everything he had done over the last seventy years.

_I guess I did jump the gun a bit,_ he admitted to himself with a sigh.

“Although…” Case began again, “I mean…it…we can see where things go.”

Bucky’s head shot up, “What do you mean?”

Case’s cheeks turned red again, “I mean…we can just…see where time takes us. Get to know each other again…figure out if we’re still compatible…that is, if you really want to.”

“What about your instincts?”

Case took a deep breath, eyeing him with a calculating look. “Most of ‘em are saying it’s a bad idea…for multiple different reasons that we’ll be here all night discussing…all except for one.”

“Oh really…and what is that one saying?”

Her response was a smirk, followed by her leaning across the counter and going for another kiss. She held the kiss a little longer than he had, even going so far as to brush her tongue across his lips before she pulled away, still smiling with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

Bucky cleared his throat, as he felt his own cheeks heating up. And his voice certainly did _not_ crack as he cleared his throat, “Good answer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there ends Chapter Five. It was supposed to be more of a slow burn than this…but I hope it turned out alright.   
Also, again, using Google Translate and I know the translations aren’t exactly what it’s supposed to be, but this is how the line is supposed to go:   
“You understood me?”   
“I speak the language fluently,” Case said as she took stock of the contents of the fridge. “Russian meatball,” she added under her breath.   
Now off to Chapter Six!


	6. My Boyfriend's Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we have Chapter Six!  
Now, I wasn’t planning on using this song, at least not so soon if it ever made the cut. However, ironically enough I was watching a Stucky video on YouTube with this cover for the song, and I caught a plot bunny.  
The cover is by Paris Bennett, and it goes without saying that aside from song purchases from iTunes I do not own any rites to the song nor any of the multiple versions of it that are in existence.  
I also don’t own the Crystal Gems, or the Steven Universe theme song – that credit goes to Rebecca Sugar.  
Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

* * *

**February 15th, 2015**

Case gave a loud yawn as she stepped into the empty hallway, closing the apartment door behind her. She secured the deadbolt with her keys, before heading on her way, twirling the metal key ring around her finger as she made a list of the things she’d be grabbing from the market down the street.

“Happy belated Valentine’s Day Case!”

Case nearly jumped out of her skin and lost her grip on her keys, scrambling a bit to catch them as she turned to face her neighbor. She gave a tired smile to the elderly woman, “Happy belated Valentine’s Day to you too, Mrs. Connors.”

Mrs. Connors was not your average elderly woman – she always said she was eighty-five years young and was currently sporting her long gray hair with pink and purple stripes, which was tied up in a neat bun. She smiled and took in Case’s appearance – a baggy gray zip-up hoodie and wrinkled blue jeans and an empty black backpack, a direct contradiction to the cardigan, flowery dress, and tiny handbag that made up the other woman’s ensemble. She cocked an eyebrow and had a mischievous sparkle in her eye as she asked, “Did you have a good Valentine’s Day?”

“Oh, it was…okay, I guess,” Case shrugged, rubbing at the back of her neck and _not_ looking back at her front door. “Just spent a quiet evening at home.”

“Really, that’s all? Just a quiet evening at home?”

“Yeah…I got back in really late from a mission,” Case told her. “Hurt my leg in the process. Took till maybe an hour ago for the wound to heal completely.”

Mrs. Connors gave a hum as the two headed for the stairs, “I see.”

_Does she know?_ Case wondered, casting a side-ways glance at her neighbor. Even as a woman of advanced age, Mrs. Connors was not someone to underestimate. She was sharper than she looked and _hated_ when someone tried to pull the wool over her eyes.

_No, that’s impossible,_ Case mentally shook her head. _There was a reason the Winter Soldier was a ghost story all these years…_

“I was wondering,” The elderly woman spoke up again, “Have you seen your gentleman friend lately?”

Case stumbled suddenly and had to grab hold of the railing to avoid taking a nasty spill down the stairs. “What gentleman friend?”

“About six feet tall, broad shoulders, ice blue eyes with the long brown hair? Sporting a bit of a beard if memory serves,” Mrs. Connors stated, continuing down the stairs as if nothing had happened, “But I didn’t get a very good look at him, when he noticed me, he practically raced out the door.”

Case cocked an eyebrow, “Didn’t get a good look at him? A sketch artist could draw his portrait with a description like that.”

“So, they could,” The woman smiled, “He’s very handsome though, where’ve you been hiding him?”

“Oh uh…” Case chewed on her lip, “We…we go way back actually, just had a falling out, many years ago.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Connors’s brows rose. “_Way_ back huh…I thought he looked familiar.”

“Uh…Mrs. Connors, I—”

“Oh, don’t worry Case, your secret is safe with me,” Mrs. Connors assured her as they reached the front doors of the building. “He was never here…never saw him, couldn’t have stopped him.” She cleared her throat and checked her watch, “Anyway, I best be going. Take care, Case.”

“You too,” Case said softly as her neighbor headed for the glass doors.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Mrs. Connors said, pausing as she pushed the door open.

“Yeah?”

The woman’s lip twitched, “Nice hickey…might I suggest an oil-based concealer?”

Case’s eyes widened, and she tugged at the collar of her t-shirt and jacket. Sure enough, although a little faded she could see a large purple splotch at the junction between her neck and shoulder. “Shit…”

“Like I said Case, your secret is safe with me,” Mrs. Connors chuckled as she walked out the door.

Case’s mouth formed into a thin line, casting a glare after the old woman as she pulled her iPod out of her pocket. She plugged the earbuds into her ears, hitting shuffle as she walked out into the early morning sunlight.

A familiar, upbeat song opening filled her ears, and she gave a sigh as she slid the device into the back pocket of her jeans.

_ **He went away** _   
_ ** And you hung around and messed with me every night** _   
_ ** And when I wouldn’t go out with you** _   
_ ** Guess what? You said some things that I didn’t like** _

Case zipped the jacket higher as she moved down the sidewalk, wishing she’d thought to grab a scarf or at least a heavier jacket as she shoved her hands into her pockets when she started shivering.

** _My boyfriend’s back, and you’re gonna get in trouble_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back)_ **   
** _ You see him comin’, better head out on the double_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, oooh my boyfriend’s back)_ **   
** _ You’ve been spreadin’ lies you know were untrue_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back)_ **   
** _ So look out now, ‘cause he’s comin’ after you_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back)_ **

The trek to the market was quick and rather boring, which was something Case preferred. She liked being able to vanish into a crowd, or in this instance head to the grocery store for a carton of eggs and some milk without any weird looks for someone running up asking to show off her claws.

Which, truly she didn’t mind doing – mostly it was fans that were excited at the idea of meeting a real, live superhero. The only problem was on normal days the adamantium caused a mild irritation across her knuckles, mostly just making them itchy but sometimes they began to sting if Case overdid it.

However, on days like today when the cold temperatures dried her skin out, it caused actual pain. Sometimes her knuckles even started bleeding if it was snowing outside.

She gave a sigh of relief when she stepped inside the warm store – she paused her iPod and shook the thoughts of her claws away as she grabbed one of the little hand baskets. She was a woman on a mission after all and needed supplies to get her through the next twenty-four hours.

Mostly because anytime Bucky pulled something out of his pockets to snack on it was candy or chips or some other thing that manufacturers insisted was food, but Case had her doubts.

One of the first things she’d grabbed was spinach for a salad – Case enjoyed junk food as much as the next person, but watching Bucky devour an entire store display’s worth of candy made her crave something green and healthy.

She made her way throughout the store, trying to grab enough to feed an assassin with a super-soldier’s metabolism while still making sure she could easily carry it all home.

When her basket was full, and she was sure she covered all bases Case made her way back to the front of the store to the check-out line.

As she waited her turn, she skimmed over the magazines. Mostly just tabloid garbage, until she caught sight of _Vanity Fair’s _most recent issue, where she saw _her_ name listed under one of the headings.

After placing her basket on the conveyor belt, she grabbed a copy off the rack and flipped through it.

_Is love in the air for the Siren? Most sources claim, as does the Siren herself, that there is no romance on the horizon, despite the amount of time spent in the company of handsome gentlemen. _

_For example, the newest man in the vigilante’s life—_

“Vigilante? What the hell?” Case grumbled.

_Is one by the name of Sam Wilson. He’s new to the group that calls themselves “The Avengers”, known on the street as “The Falcon”. The Siren, as many know her legal name is “Cassidy Howlett”—_

“Case…my name is Case…”

_Insists her relationship with Wilson is just friendship, same as Tony Stark or Steve Rogers. Although she also said the same during World War II when it came to Bucky Barnes, but anyone that knew those two insist that their relationship was anything but “friendly”. _

“Excuse me, Miss?”

Case looked up, and the cashier stared at her expectantly. “Oh sorry!” Case handed the teenager the magazine, “Sorry about that…I got a little distracted.”

“Not a fan of Christine Everheart?” The girl asked as she rang up the magazine and added it to the bags.

“Not particularly, no,” Case shook her head, then slid her debit card when prompted.

“If I may say…um…” The girl blushed as she added, “I always thought you and the Captain would make a nice couple…”

Case gave her a small smile as she took her receipt, “I do like Steve…but it’s brotherly love not romantic. Don’t get me wrong, Steve’s got a set of impressive pecs and is an all-around amazing man…but he never struck that chord with me.”

“Well, you have a good day Miss Howlett,” The cashier smiled as Case packed her items into her backpack.

Case returned the smile as she slid the straps over her shoulders, hoisting the bag onto her back. She pulled her iPod out of her back pocket and resumed the song, stepping out once again into the chilly morning.

_ ** Hey, hey he knows that you’ve been tryin’  
And he knows, he knows that you’ve been lyin’ ** _

The sunlight made the air a little warmer, and despite Everheart’s assumptions and questions about her love life, the song in her ears now brought a smile to Case’s face.

** _He’s been gone for such a long time_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back)_ **   
** _ But now he’s back, and things’ll be fine_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back)_ **   
** _ And you’re gonna be sorry that you were ever born_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back)_ **   
** _ ‘Cause he’s kind of gansta and he’s awfully strong_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back)_ **

Case took her time with the walk, realizing for the first time that the song was set to repeat. Apparently, she hadn’t changed the setting…oh well.

When she entered the apartment building, she made a quick stop to the mailbox. She opened the metal container to check her mail, the song blocking out the screeching groan that always accompanied the action as she reached inside to grab the envelopes.

** _Hey, I know that you be trippin’_ **   
** _ But now you, you better get to steppin’_ **   
** _ ‘Cause you really, really have been testin’_ **   
** _ And he knows that he’s the only one I’m reppin’_ **

Ignoring the metal box as it slammed shut, she tucked the envelopes into her bag and headed toward the stairs with a small spring in her step.

_ **What made you think he’d believe all your lies?** _

_**(Wah-ooh) (wah-ooh) (wah-oooooh)**_  
_**You’re the big man’s now, but he’s gonna bring you down to size**_  
_**Wait and see!**_

Once Case had the apartment door shut behind her, she began singing along to the song, _“Ooooooooh-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, la-da-de-de-de-de-de,”_ She gave a swing of her hips as she added, _“Well coming back!”_

** _My boyfriend’s back; he’s gonna save my reputation_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back)_ **   
** _ And if I were you, I’d take a permanent vacation_ **   
** _ (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back)_ **

Case finally turned off the iPod and went to work putting her groceries away, still humming along to the song.

She was shutting something in the refrigerator when she heard a tired grunt, and something flopped onto the counter behind her.

When she turned around, she saw Bucky’s torso was on the counter, head resting on his bent right arm and face hidden beneath his messy brown hair.

“Still not a morning person, eh Buck?” Case asked.

He propped his chin on his forearm, and he watched her move around the tiny kitchen, putting the rest of her groceries away. “Did you sleep at all?”

“Regrettably, no, I did not,” Case admitted as she put the last item in the cupboard. “How ‘bout you? Did you get any sleep?”

Bucky let out a loud yawn, “Maybe an hour or two…gonna be honest better than I usually get.”

“Want some coffee?”

Bucky gave a nod then his head dropped back into his sleeve.

“Wake you when it’s ready?”

The only acknowledgement came from his silver left hand, which flashed a thumbs up at her. 

She suddenly was struck with an image – Steve and Bucky’s apartment in Brooklyn, Bucky stumbling into the kitchen on his day off, sprawling across the table until someone put a mug of coffee in front of him.

_Some things never change,_ Case shook her head as she started the coffee maker. She walked over to the dining table, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she reached for a thick booklet sitting on the tabletop, next to the neat row of Bucky’s discarded guns. 

Technically, Case had two cell phones – her personal one, and one that Tony Stark had designed, his sort of Avengers’ Stark Phone that was like the ones he used for his daily routines. The others kept them mostly for mission work and had personal phones for daily use.

Unfortunately, during one of Steve’s recent “Bucky Sightings” Case’s Stark Phone had gotten broken – although to be fair, what did you expect to happen when your phone falls on the floor and then two hundred and forty pounds of super-soldier muscle and a vibranium shield land on it?

Stark had seemed rather calm about the whole thing and took the phone to make repairs. Case had thought the situation had been taken care of…until she opened her personal phone one morning to find the primary language switched to Italian, her custom ringtones removed save for one, and all her pictures and wallpapers gone, the only ones left behind were of the Crystal Gems.

“Whatcha up to?” Bucky suddenly asked with a yawn.

She waved her phone at him and put the device on the table. She kept her eyes on the page in the booklet, “Tony’s revenge for me breaking a Stark Phone. Hacked into my personal one and changed shit around.”

“How do you know it was him?”

“Didn’t do anything to piss off Barton, Natasha would’ve done something worse,” Case said, turning the page, “And Steve and Ryder wouldn’t have bothered changing the language to Italian.”

“So…French, Russian, Italian…” Bucky counted, “And English, obviously.”

“Yep,” Case nodded. “Though I thought I was gonna pull a muscle when Pearl’s face flashed on the screen when Steve called. Don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in my life.”

“Pearl?”

“Cartoon character,” Case put the booklet down as the coffee maker stopped it’s gurgling sounds. She grabbed two mugs and poured the coffee, putting one of the mugs in front of Bucky, who’s head was still resting on his right arm. “There ya go, Buck.”

He looked up at her, “You’re awesome, you know that?”

“You’re just noticing that now?” Case asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Bucky rolled his eyes as he sat up. He reached out with his right hand and tugged her closer so he could press a kiss to her cheek.

Case’s cheeks turned pink, but any smile she had turned to a frown when she realized something. “Something wrong with your arm?”

“Nope, it’s fine, see?” Bucky said, spinning his right wrist and flexing his fingers.

“No, I mean the left one,” Case told him.

“Oh…” Bucky gave a frown of his own, before he reached for the mug with his left hand, “No, it’s working just fine…why do you ask?”

“You just…haven’t been using it as much,” Case told him. “You’ve kept it mostly tucked against your side.”

“It’s fine,” Bucky said shortly, eyes going to the counter as he carefully put the mug down.

“Are you sure? Because if you’re having problems with it, I’m sure I could talk to Tony—”

_“__Ya skazal, chto vse v poryadke, ostav’ eto__!”_ Bucky shouted, shooting to his feet.

Case took a deep breath and put her own coffee mug on the counter behind her, chewing on her lip as she considered her next response. She stood straighter and opened her mouth but was cut off when her phone lit up across the room.

_ **We... are the Crystal Gems! ** _   
_ ** We’ll always save the day!** _   
_ ** And if you think we can’t,** _   
_ ** We’ll always find a way!** _   
_ ** That’s why the people of this world believe in** _   
_ ** Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl…and Steven!** _

“You um…you might want to answer that,” Bucky said in a quiet voice, resuming his seat and going back to his coffee.

Case’s right eye twitched as the song began again, then she stalked across the room. “This isn’t over!” She told him as she reached the table, picking up her phone. A picture of Garnet flashed on the screen, along with _TONY STARK._ Giving a growl of frustration, she slid her thumb across the screen to answer, “First of all, you are in no way, shape or form, _Garnet._ Maybe Amethyst at best.”

_“You wound me Howlett,”_ Tony gave a dramatic gasp on the other end of the line.

“Well Ryder sure as hell isn’t Amethyst,” Case rolled her eyes. “Second of all, what’s the status update on Sirius?”

_“Mostly superficial damage, very little to the overall structure, which is pretty damn lucky considering what happened. I’d say give me a few weeks – two, maybe three at most.”_

“Good,” Case said with a small sigh of relief.

_“Are you sure you don’t want me to do any upgrades? A few tweaks and we’ll—”_

“No, Tony, I want my bike back the way it’s supposed to be,” Case rolled her eyes. “If it’s not something Kawasaki would’ve provided me in their showroom, it’s not going on my bike.”

_“Fine, but you’re missing out on a prime opportunity here,”_ Tony wheedled.

“Fix what you did to my phone and we’ll talk about upgrades, Stark,” Case snapped at him before ending the call. She put the phone back on her table before she did something stupid…like chuck this one across the room and break it too. _“Une chose...tout ce que je demande, c’est une chose pour laquelle Stark n’a pas besoin de lancer une de ses mises à jour...je ne pense pas que ce soit trop demander dans la vie.”_

She took a deep breath, then turned to Bucky, “And as for you—”

“Look, the damned thing is working fine!” Bucky snapped at her, waving the metal appendage in the air, spinning his wrist and curling the fingers into a fist. “Nothing is wrong with it!”

“Then why—”

“Just let it go!” Bucky shouted, before getting to his feet again. “Look…I…I’m going to take a shower. Just think of something else to talk about, alright?”

Case glared at his back until he disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. She rolled her eyes as she marched back into the kitchen, grabbing her mug and taking a huge swig. When she swallowed, she grumbled, “Oh yeah, my boyfriend’s back alright…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, as per the usual I do not speak any languages other than English.  
Bucky’s line through Google Translate for Russian: I said it’s alright, leave it  
Case’s line through Google Translate for French: One thing…all I ask for is one thing that Stark doesn’t need to slap one of his upgrades on…I don’t think that’s asking for too much in life.


	7. A Filler to Bridge the Gap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe it’s been over a month since this story was updated…I’m sorry guys, with the combination of writer’s block and just life in general, I guess time just got away from me. But I do plan to get back on the writing schedule to finish. I have a long way to go with these characters and I want to eventually tell the whole story to completion – which includes a few additional stories after this one is finished.  
Welcome to the long-awaited Chapter Seven. The flashbacks and some of the dialogue, as well as the characters the Drain, Shen, and Mila are all from “Winter Soldier: The Bitter March” – you don’t necessarily need any background knowledge of the story to enjoy this chapter, but I want to give credit where it’s due. Plus, I thought it was an interesting storyline for the Winter Soldier.  
Constructive criticism is always appreciated, and I will be back with Chapter Eight as soon as I possibly can.

* * *

**Three Weeks Later**

Bucky took a deep breath, standing in front of Case’s door where he’d spent the last ten minutes staring awkwardly at the wood, the silver key in his hand glinting in the dim lighting of the hallway.

He hadn’t spoken with Case since Valentine’s Day – she hadn’t left well enough alone with the metal arm, and she’d ended up storming out of her own apartment after a screaming match.

He left the place when he was sure he wouldn’t be seen – camped out on the roof across the street and waited until she came back before he moved on. He almost went back when he saw her return in tears, but he’d kept his distance like a coward.

During his time away, Bucky put a lot of thought into her ultimatum – if one could even call it that. She’d simply said that if he couldn’t touch her with the metal arm, they couldn’t move forward with their relationship. There were no expectations, no rush to actually move forward with it, she’d just reasoned that eventually they would have to move past that hurdle, and if Bucky wouldn’t be able to, there wasn’t much point in continuing it further…they’d still be friends of course, but anything romantic at that point would be off the table.

His gaze drifted to his left arm, where it was covered by the sleeve of his jacket and a black leather glove, hiding the silver metal fingers.

Silver fingers that had snapped necks, beat others unconscious, strangled the air of lungs…

Silver fingers that had punched Howard Stark until he was dead.

Silver fingers that had choked Maria Stark until she’d stopped screaming.

The same fingers that had hurt Case repeatedly…that pinned her to her dining table, as he’d tried to find the syringe to drug her himself. That punched her in the face during sparring practice…

Bucky shook his head as he tried to clear the thoughts away. The sparring practice one was a wash – Case had demanded he pull no punches, and so he hadn’t.

He raised the key again but was still unable to put it in the lock. _Come on, quit being a coward Barnes._

He was about to try again when a tired looking Case opened the door instead. She was dressed in a baggy gray hoodie sweatshirt and blue jeans with her hair tied up in a messy knot on her head. She looked up at him in exasperation as she said, “The key works better when you put it in the slot.”

“I know, I…” Bucky hesitated, “Can…can I come in?”

Case’s mouth twisted to the left as she pondered her answer. Then she stepped to the side, waving an arm toward the living room area.

Bucky slipped in and Case closed the door quietly behind him.

Case folded her arms and leaned back against the door, “What do you want, Buck?”

Bucky took a deep breath, “You.”

Case gave a huff as she said, “Right…so long as I don’t make you use the metal arm.”

“Cassidy—”

“Yeah, yeah, could hurt me, blah-blah, done horrible things, yadda-yadda,” Case rolled her eyes. “Look, not to make light of _any_ of this James but I do have a _vague_ idea of what you’ve done with it—”

Bucky gave a scoff as he folded his arms across his chest, “No you don’t.”

Case’s eyebrows rose as she stared at him for a moment. Then she gave a small hum before running her tongue across her top teeth, then in a quiet voice she asked, “Wanna bet?”

“This isn’t a game, Cassidy.”

“I’m just saying,” Case gave a shrug, “As you so eloquently put during one of your previous visits, I was Silverfox’s _favorite_. She told me stuff that any normal prisoner wouldn’t have been told.”

“Such as?”

“Like how when she told you we’d crashed in the ice, you called her a lying bitch and she punched you,” Case explained. Then she examined her knuckles, “Didn’t work out so good for her because after she finished her story, I punched _her_ in the face.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t like what she had to say on the subject,” Case told him. “And as for what _you’ve_ done…I know you punched Howard Stark in the face, repositioned him in his car to make it look like his face went right into the steering wheel. Then you strangled his wife.”

Bucky’s face went white, “How do you—?”

“If they could do that to you, they could do that to me,” Case cut him off quietly. She met his gaze, “Hypno-Bitch pulled no punches.”

He felt lightheaded, and he took a seat on the lone barstool by the counter, “Cassidy—”

“Don’t bullshit me James,” Case cut him off again. “I’m not asking for details, or names or anything…I’m just not sure what changed because you didn’t hesitate to touch me with it when I was in Siberia—”

“I only had part of it in Siberia,” Bucky said in a testy voice. “It was like she reset me to when I…well, you know.”

“Course she did,” Case rolled her eyes. “Cut through seventy years of programming and what else was there?”

“Not as clear cut as it sounds.”

“True, it’s not an exact science,” Case agreed. “Once you step up from basic commands it gets messier…or so Ryder says.”

“Ryder?”

“She’s a tactile hypnotist, just like him,” Case explained.

“She told you what she could do?”

Case hesitated before saying, “Yeah…she did. She told me what she can do, and she _showed_ me. She also told me about the Starks, about…” She grimaced and started rubbing at the backs of her hands with her thumbs, “Buck…I’m not…” She chewed on her lip.

“I’m not him.”

Case’s head thumped against the door, “Not this shit again…”

“It’s not ‘shit’,” Bucky snapped. “I’m not the Bucky you remember—”

“I’m aware of that James!” Case snapped, cutting him off once again. She sighed, and her eyes scrunched shut, allowing tears to drip down her temples and into her hair. They opened and stared at the ceiling as she said, “The Bucky I remember fell off a train during World War Two. I remember…”

“Glad one of us does,” Bucky grumbled. He regretted it instantly at the look that washed over Case’s face, “Case, I’m sorry—”

Case stared at him for a moment, tears filling her eyes as she stared at him in disbelief, “Sorry…you’re sorry. For what? For falling off the train?”

“Well, not exactly but…” Bucky sighed, looking down at the floor, “I’m…the things I’ve done…”

“Yeah…what _you’ve_ done,” Case repeated. She shifted her jaw a bit before she said, “So how long are you going to cling to that?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You come in here, agreeing to start…_something_,” Case pointed out. “But…you don’t want to step outside of Hydra’s shadow. And you seem to be under the impression that I’m expecting you to act like the last seventy years never happened or…I don’t really know. Not like we had the best communication skills _ever_…”

“Oh, come on, we talked.”

Case gave a huff of a laugh, “‘You seem stressed, let me go blow you in that closet’ doesn’t exactly count as talking, James.”

Bucky frowned, “I reciprocated…”

“That’s not the point,” Case rolled her eyes, “We really didn’t talk. Not like this.”

“Yeah, and as I recall _you_ were the one that had the problem with it,” Bucky snapped. He’d tried to talk to her, that much he did remember. “Okay, so maybe we waited too long to have the tough conversations, but as you should damn well remember I _tried!_ Hell, I asked you flat out what you expected of me and I got some smart-ass answer in response.”

Case pursed her lips, “Something I’ve regretted since the words left my mouth.”

“So…you want honesty? You first,” Bucky said. He’d come in with stipulations for her request, and clearly this conversation had gone off the rails. “You’ve kept me waiting seventy years…whatcha got for me?”

Case swallowed roughly, “I love you.”

Bucky gave a nod, “Good start.”

With a nod, Case continued, “I um…” She licked at her lips, “I was afraid to tell you how I felt. I wasn’t your type…I’m a mutant…I don’t know what you would have seen in me. So, when you said you felt the same…” More tears rolled down her cheeks, “When you fell…I realized all the things we never did. Never talked, never said what we were, and I never got to apologize.”

Bucky opened his mouth, but Case held up a hand and he quickly closed it.

“Then…we crashed. Next thing I know I’m waking up in a hospital bed with Steve’s ugly mug sitting watch over me. Suddenly everything…” She sighed, “I remember I started sobbing. Seemed random, SHIELD docs had no idea what was going on, thought I was having some sort of breakdown. Which to some extent I guess I was…aside from being asleep for seventy years now I finally had to deal with the fact that the man I’d known for over twenty years and been in love with for ten was…_gone._” She hugged her arms tighter around herself, “No second chances, no goodbyes just…_gone._”

Bucky didn’t even try to cut in this time, just kept his mouth shut.

“I…I can’t tell you how many times I imagined you came back,” Case admitted with a slight blush. “Granted, there wasn’t much in the way of talking in those fantasies either…”

“I’m—”

“No,” Case cut him off. “Unless you’re gonna apologize for the chunk your fist took outta my closet door, I don’t wanna hear it.”

Bucky sighed. “I don’t wanna hurt you again, Case. Especially with his damned thing,” he added with a wave of his left arm.

“To be fair, you really never hurt me with it…unless I asked you to,” Case pointed out. “Which sounded better in my head, so I’m sorry about that. But we’re not the same as we were back then…despite what Bowling for Soup sings about.” She looked at her knuckles again, “Also…I’m a little more worried about me hurting you than the other way around.”

Bucky gave a weak chuckle, “Case you’re strong as hell, but we’ve fought before, I think we both know who’s going to win that one.”

Case cocked an eyebrow, and stood straight, “Alright…stand up.”

“What…_now?_”

“Yeah…on your feet Barnes.”

Bucky frowned then got to his feet.

“Hold up the stool,” Case instructed, “In front…hold it to your chest.”

Frown deepening, Bucky grabbed the stool and held it to his chest as Case instructed with the legs pointing outward. “Why?”

“Just a demonstration,” Case said, “You remember sometimes my claws just slide out, right? When I’m angry, stressed or…with you.”

“You’re ninety-six years old, and you still can’t say it was because I made you come really hard from a hand job?”

Case’s face turned a dark shade of vermillion, “I’d rather not admit to _anyone_ that my claws have a tendency to come out when I have an orgasm…it’s kind of embarrassing.”

“I dunno I always took it as a compliment,” Bucky said with a hint of pride in his voice and a small smirk on his lips. “Shame we didn’t tell anyone about us…I wore those bite marks on my shoulders like a badge of honor.”

“Fine, then if we ever reach a point in our relationship where we tell the world about us, I’ll suck a hickey into your neck the size of an avocado,” Case told him with a roll of her eyes. “One you can’t cover up no matter how hard you try.”

“Fine…just as long as you wear something strapless to show off the marks I’m gonna leave on _your_ shoulders in return,” Bucky added.

“Right…uh…” If anything, Case’s blush got darker, and she tugged at the collar of her sweatshirt, “Okay…”

“Having a little trouble concentrating, baby?” Bucky asked, with a large grin. He remembered her shoulders were one of her weak spots, and usually he had his hand over her mouth as he bit down, anything to muffle the loud whine she’d let out as her eyes rolled back into her head… 

“Don’t…” Case said in a slightly raspy voice as she closed her eyes.

“Don’t what?” Bucky asked, his thoughts instantly snapping back to the present. _Did I cross a line?_

Case took a deep breath before she looked at him again, “Don’t…I don’t want you to tease me like that.”

Bucky frowned, and lowered the stool, “But Case—”

“I just meant…” Case continued, and Bucky fell silent. “Look, if you’re not…we’re supposed to be taking things slow, and if you’re not in a…” She sighed, “Don’t start something you’re not ready to finish.”

_Oh, I see,_ Bucky realized. “Look, Case…it’s not that. Well, some days it is…but we’ll cross those bridges when we get to them. This bridge…the arm serves as a reminder sometimes…the fact that I’m…” His shoulders slumped as he looked away from her to the floor. “It’s a reminder of the monster they turned me into.”

There, he’d said it. He’d been avoiding saying it for a while…including the argument during his last visit. At least now it was out in the open. 

The response he got was a familiar _snkit_ sound, and Case hissing out, _“Son of a bitch!”_

Bucky looked up quickly.

Case’s eyes were scrunched shut in pain and her chest was heaving as she breathed through it. Her arms were thrown out to her sides, fingers curled into loose fists as her claws gleamed in the light. “Lift…the…stool…”

“Case, I—”

“Just…do it…” She snarled at him, finally opening her eyes. Her fists closed completely, and she raised the claws, “Lift it.”

Bucky frowned but hoisted the stool up, legs out and facing Case.

With a grunt of exertion, Case reared back with her right hand and slashed her claws through the air.

Bucky watched it more than felt it – a silver gleam going across and through the legs of the stool, and suddenly the wooden legs fell from the base and landed on the floor in pieces. Bucky tipped the base, and he could also see three slash marks in the wood, barely enough to scratch the surface.

“Wow…”

“I think if it came down to a fight between my claws or your arm, I know which one I’d bet on,” Case pointed out.

Bucky looked toward the counter, “Wasn’t that your last—?”

“Nah, got the replacements in the guest room,” Case shrugged it off. She retracted her claws with a hiss, rubbing at her hands, “My dad was right you know…the adamantium makes the claws hurt worse.”

With a sigh Bucky put the base of the stool on the counter, “So now you know.”

“You think that you’re a monster? Yeah, I kinda assumed that,” Case told him, moving toward the couch. “You’re wrong, by the way.”

Bucky frowned, “What are you talking about?”

“The idea of you being a monster,” Case said nonchalantly. “You are wrong.”

“How can you say that? The things I’ve done—”

“Were not done by choice,” Case cut him off. “Look Bucky, I’m not going to argue any of it. I know it was you…your hand that pulled the trigger. But you looked me in the eye, and you had no idea who I was. You argued with me, adamant that you weren’t James Barnes. Then almost a year later you did the same thing to Steve. The guy that was your brother in all but blood.”

“What’s your point?”

Case stood near the sofa but didn’t take a seat. “My point is…okay, let me explain it like this. When Silverfox…when she did what she did to you all those years…that was by her choice. She chose to go back to them and stay with them. You? You chose to fight with the Howling Commandos…then Hydra found you. And if it was just the brainwashing _maybe_ I could see your point. But I’ve read the files James…mental implants, memory wipes…hell The Drain? You can’t tell me that one day you just snapped and volunteered to be their poster boy.”

Bucky flinched at the memory of his experience with The Drain and rubbed at his throat where his own knife had broken skin and drawn blood. He could practically feel the bitter chill in the air, and the cold steel as he pulled the blade harder.

_“That’s it, cut deep Mister Barnes,” _the voice said in his head. _“Steve Rogers would never have allowed this happen to him. But you? You are weak! A stain upon his great legacy!”_

“Bucky?” Case’s voice asked.

“I uh…” Bucky’s voice was raspy as he plopped onto the floor, “I need to sit down…”

Case approached him slowly, and sat down in front of him, “Bucky—”

“He’s dead,” Bucky said in a shaky voice. “He’s…he’s dead. I…”

“What…um…what happened? The records are kinda…_vague._”

Bucky looked away, “I was…they sent me on a mission. Along the way, I met the Drain…he messed with my head. He said…”

_“Steve…what have I done?”_

_“Failed him! That’s all you’ve done, Mister Barnes!”_

Bucky reached out and pulled Case tight against his chest, burying his face in her hair. He needed something to ground him, and he knew he wasn’t going to land in a thick snowbank this time.

Her hair was soft and smelled like fruit, still wavy and messy just like it always had been. Bucky remembered running his fingers through it, cringing slightly at the look of pain on Case’s face anytime he’d hit a knot she’d missed while combing it.

A small voice in his head reminded him of the metal arm and it sounded suspiciously like the Drain. With a small growl Bucky pulled Case even tighter to him. Yes, he didn’t want to hurt her, and yes, he had a lifetime’s worth of doubts and insecurities, many of which related to the metal monstrosity they’d attached to him, but all of that paled in comparison to his need right now, which was to hold onto the woman he would do anything for. “This was all I wanted back then…”

“What do you mean?” Case asked, her voice muffled because her cheek was smashed against his jacket.

Bucky gave a chuckle and adjusted his hold, so they were both sitting comfortably, “As horrible as the bastard was…when he got inside my head, he unlocked a lot of memories. I knew my name was James, and the longer I was with Shen and Mila I was able to sort through more.” Case’s arms wound around him as she settled against his chest, and he continued, “There was a whole lot of death and mayhem, and I had a list of targets I wanted to take out…but the memory of losing you, God that was…”

“I’m sorry, Buck,” Case whispered.

“For what?”

“We should’ve…we should’ve gone looking—”

“Don’t let Silverfox get inside your head any more than she already has,” Bucky cut her off. “That wasn’t your fault…I fell off a speeding train from a _very_ high mountain. We both know I should’ve…” He cleared his throat when Case’s grip tightened around his waist, and he finished, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Still…”

Bucky sighed, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt that nobody had gone looking. But he couldn’t let himself go down that road, because it wouldn’t do anyone any good, and by all accounts, he _should_ have died. In fact, he was pretty sure he was half dead when Hydra found him anyway.

“Okay, say you had gone looking,” Bucky said, trying a new angle. “Great, I was found. I was still missing an arm, and in bad shape. Would that have stopped you from getting on the plane with Steve?”

Case sat up a bit so she could look at him, “What?”

“You were on the plane when Steve crashed,” Bucky pointed out. “You and Ryder were with him. Do you honestly think if I had been found you wouldn’t have gotten on the plane?”

Now it was Case’s turn to look away.

“I wouldn’t have been cleared for duty, I can tell you that much,” Bucky told her. “From what I understand, even Hydra had to get me back into fighting shape. I was a mess after that fall, Case. And without an arm? They never would have let me back in the field…and none of you would have either.”

“Safer that way.”

“Case you’re not seeing the ‘What-If’ scenario here,” Bucky told her. When she looked back at him, her eyes were wet and he reached out to catch a lone tear with his flesh thumb, “My point is, you still would have gone into the ice. And since I don’t know the extent of the serum…there’s no guarantee I still would have been here when you got out.”

“Wouldn’t have been found by Hydra.”

“Except Zola ended up working with SHIELD,” Bucky pointed out. “Hydra grew inside of the organization for _decades_, right in front of Peggy and…” He hesitated, unable to say the man’s name, “You _think_ I would have been safer, but it’s possible it would have been just as easy for them to get me in that scenario too.”

“God Zola…” Case sniffled, and more tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Nope, nope, nope,” Bucky said, smashing Case back into his chest, “We’ve already addressed one gaping wound this evening, I’m callin’ it a night.”

“So, you think pressing me into your pecs is a better idea?” Case’s words were again muffled by his shirt.

Bucky looked down at her, “What? My pecs aren’t as impressive as Steve’s?”

“I dunno, haven’t seen you shirtless lately,” Case smirked up at him, ending with a laugh as he dug his flesh fingers into her side.

“Point being…let’s move onto lighter topics, okay?”

Case adjusted against him again, so she was comfortable, “Alright, whatcha got Sergeant?”

Bucky took a deep breath, “Well…I mean, I know we said we’d go _slow…_but I had a thought, or rather a request.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah…you know, since my birthday is in a few days…”


	8. Star-Spangled Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for Chapter Eight. I’m sorry about the delayed updates guys – this is the worst case of writer’s block I think I’ve ever had. But here we go, and I’ll work on getting Chapter Nine as soon as I possibly can.   
Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

* * *

**March 10th, 2015**

“Alright Buck,” Case said, bumping the door with her hip to close it. “I’ve got everything I need.”

Bucky was seated at the counter of Case’s kitchen, and he eyed the plastic bags and the backpack that Case plopped down onto the opposite counter with a small grunt, and said, “You know…you don’t really have to do this.”

“But I _want_ to,” Case said as she started to put her groceries away.

“I-I know…but you’ve already agreed to enough, and I…” Bucky trailed off. His stomach had been in knots ever since she’d made the proposal…and if she’d made it six months ago, Bucky would have flat out refused. But now…now he had more of his memories back, which in his opinion was making it worse.

“Forgive me if I want to give you something a little more substantial than a blow job for your birthday, James,” Case shrugged him off as she stretched to reach a high shelf.

Bucky’s eyes drifted to Case’s lower back where her shirt had ridden up, his gaze immediately drawn to the bare skin as he added, “You say that like it’s insignificant.”

“Didn’t mean it like that,” Case told him before grabbing a gallon of milk out of each of her bags, “Considering that’s what a lot of our physical relationship consisted of at first.”

“We had sex _once,_ Cassidy,” Bucky pointed out. “Hand jobs and blow jobs _was_ the extent of our physical relationship.”

Case frowned at him, “You say that like we’ll never have sex again.”

Bucky sat straighter on his stool, “Does that mean I can get birthday sex instead?

“Maybe next year.”

Bucky gave a huff and folded his arms across his chest, “I’ll remember that on _your_ birthday.”

“When _is_ my birthday, Buck?”

Bucky opened his mouth, then closed it. “It’s…uh…”

Case folded her arms as she waited.

“It’s…” Bucky tried again, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s in one of the months that starts with a J…”

Eyebrows went up as a small smile stretched across her face.

“Alright, fine, I don’t remember yet,” Bucky sighed. “I remember nineteen-eighteen, and you’re twenty-five minutes younger.”

“That’s the gist of it,” Case said with a nod. As she went back to the groceries, she added, “It’s June eighteenth, by the way.”

“June eighteenth, got it,” Bucky said with a nod.

“Yeah, so mark it on your calendar,” Case added as she finished up with her groceries.

“I’ll get right on that,” Bucky said as she turned back to face him. “So…you done?”

“Yep, everything’s put away,” Case nodded, rounding the counter to put the empty backpack on the table.

“Good,” Bucky smiled at her as she walked over to him next. “Now c’mere,” He added as he threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly to his chest as he pulled her in for a kiss.

Case hummed as they broke for air, “Excited, are we?”

“I get you all to myself for the rest of the day, what do you think?” Bucky asked as he nuzzled into her neck, kissing his way from her chin to her shoulder.

That was when Case’s pocket started buzzing, followed by big band music and a drumroll. The music and drumroll repeated twice more, then a group of singers belted out,

**_Who's strong and brave, here to save the American Way?_ **

Bucky surfaced from Case’s neck and cocked an eyebrow at her, “What is that?”

“Tony fixed my phone,” Case said sheepishly.

**_Who vows to fight like a man for what's right night and day?_ **

“Is that…?” Bucky began.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Case cut him off and pulled him in for another kiss, her tongue invading and rubbing across the roof of his mouth, effectively cutting off any reply Bucky would’ve had. 

**_Who will campaign door-to-door for America,_ **

**_Carry the flag shore to shore for America,_ **

**_From Hoboken to Spokane_ **

**_The Star-Spangled Man with a Plan!_ **

As quickly as she’d pulled him in, Case broke away from Bucky’s mouth and grabbed her cell phone from her pocket.

Bucky blinked as his head cleared, tongue shifting around a wad of minty gum that hadn’t been in his mouth before. He pointed toward his face as he asked, “Is this Winterfresh?”

Case smacked her index finger against her lips in the ‘shh’ motion and in the next moment had her phone to her ear, “Hey Steve.”

_“Hey Case, how are you doing today?”_ Steve’s voice came out of the earpiece.

“Doin’ alright I guess,” Case gave a shrug, “Definitely in a good mood.”

_“Sounds like it…you haven’t been as cranky lately. Maybe you really did just need a change of scenery.”_

Bucky pressed his hand to his mouth to stifle any laughter as Case’s cheeks turned red, “Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, what can I do for my Star-Spangled Man with a Plan today?”

_“Tony fixed your phone then I take it?”_ Steve then asked, and Bucky could hear the cringe in his voice.

“You’re the one that signed up for it, buddy-boy,” Case pointed out, turning away from Bucky as she took a seat on the other stool.

_“Yeah, I guess I did,”_ Steve grumbled.

Feeling a little bored, Bucky got to his feet and moved closer to Case, slowly reaching his left arm out to wrap around her waist from behind.

“But yeah, Tony fixed it. After I agreed to hear a few modification ideas for my bike,” Case explained as she relaxed into his embrace.

He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head as he could hear Steve respond with, _“Yeah, he’s been hounding me about some upgrades for mine too.”_

“So, what can I do for you Ste-_eve!_” Case gave a quick squeal as Bucky gently wiggled his fingers into the skin above her hip.

_“Case you alright?”_

“Uh, y-yeah, I’m fine,” Case gave a quick nod, although Steve obviously couldn’t see it. She scowled up at Bucky as she asked, “Anyway…what’s up?”

_“I was…” _Steve hesitated. _“Um…I was wondering if…”_

Case’s shoulders slumped, and she pinched at the bridge of her nose as she stated, “You don’t wanna be alone today, do you?”

_“It’s not that I just…”_

Bucky’s heart sank into his stomach. Spending the day with Case was one thing but spending the day with Steve_…_he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that one yet.

Case gave another nod, and said, “Give me about an hour then come by. Bring Sam too.”

_“He’s already ahead of you on that one, Howlett,”_ Sam’s voice rang out, sounding breathless. _“Seriously man, sometimes I think you forget that I’m not a mutant and that I don’t have a super-serum.”_

_“Guess you just need to practice more,” _Steve said to him, then to Case he added, _“Maybe an hour and a half? We just got finished running…or what Sam calls running—”_

A smile lit up Case’s face as they could hear Sam give an indignant squawk in the background, “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

_“Me? Never.”_

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll see you guys soon,” Case was still smiling as she ended the call. It faded quickly and she took a deep breath before puffing her cheeks out and releasing it slowly. “I’m gonna judge by that look of panic on your face you’re not ready to face Steve.”

Bucky simply looked away. “I…”

“He doesn’t blame you,” Case told him.

“Does he know what else I’ve done?”

“The Starks were…implied,” Case admitted. “He knows you were in Siberia, but he doesn’t know you were here _that_ night…though even if he did it wouldn’t matter.”

“Case…”

“Look, Steve understands, like I do, that Hydra was in control,” Case told him. “Same with Ryder. Their anger at the situation is not directed at you whatsoever.”

“I’m sure…as over-protective Ryder is of you? I hardly think he’d forgive me for this.”

“Ryder’s too busy blaming himself for letting you get taken away at Azzano to begin with,” Case said in a flat tone.

Bucky frowned at that, “I told him—”

“It doesn’t matter James,” Case cut him off. “It doesn’t matter that he was following orders. Ryder still sees it as a failure all the same.”

Bucky sighed, “God I can only imagine what Zola would have done had he known what Ryder could do.”

“Probably nothing because Silverfox would’ve intervened,” Case growled, as she got to her feet. “Doubt she would’ve let _Ryder_ get experimented on…”

Bucky cocked his head, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Silverfox claimed she was there in the factory,” Case shrugged.

“No, the other part,” Bucky frowned, “she wouldn’t have let Ryder get experimented on?”

Case frowned thoughtfully, “Erm…never mind.”

“Case—”

“Not the time, James,” Case cut him off. She pinched at the bridge of her nose seemingly switching back to the situation at hand, “God…I mean, I _want_ to be a good friend to Steve, but…”

Bucky wrapped his arms around her, “Hey, hey…I get it, I do. Look, I’ll disappear for the afternoon, and you call me when they leave. I’ll come back and we’ll have the rest of the time to ourselves, just the two of us.”

Case hummed and gave a little groan as Bucky’s face nuzzled back into the crook of her neck. As his lips resumed their path across her skin, she added, “Buck…as much as I love this…you leave a mark on me and they’re going to suspect something’s going on.”

“What not ready to show the world you’re taken?” Bucky mumbled into her neck and Case shivered.

“Not when you’re not ready to talk to Steve face to face,” Case said with a sigh.

Bucky huffed a sigh into her collarbone as his shoulders slumped, “I guess that’s fair.” He stood straighter and pinched at his eyes, “Alright, so I’ll get outta here. Give me a call when they leave, and I’ll make my way back.”

“Can do,” Case gave a nod. “Probably for the best…it gives me time to bake the cake you’re so terrified of.”

“Case I…” Bucky started, but Case simply folded her arms with a look that dared him to deny it. “Fine…look, it’s just…you’ve never been—” 

“I’ve been out of the ice for almost four years James,” Case’s brows dropped as she frowned, “I _have_ learned how to follow a recipe. And you really should watch _Worst Cooks in America…_they make my old stuff look downright gourmet.”

Bucky sighed, and walked over to the couch grabbing the blanket he’d used the previous night, “I’m sorry Case…old habits of avoiding your cooking die hard I guess.”

Case headed for the kitchen, “Yeah…as if I’d really force you to eat something I’d ruined on your birthday.”

Bucky frowned thoughtfully as he folded the blanket, “Didn’t you try to make Steve eat—?”

“Steve tried to force himself to eat it, because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings,” Case said, grabbing a piece of paper from the fridge stuck under a familiar looking magnet.

“I’ve been meaning to ask…why do you have magnets of Steve’s shield?”

Case shrugged, “Mostly to make Steve uncomfortable…but the damned things stick to anything, as you’re well aware.”

“Yeah, I am…” Bucky admitted, rubbing at his left bicep where she’d stuck the other one.

“Also…you know I have a guest room, right?” Case pointed out, not looking up from her paper.

“Bed’s too soft,” Bucky told her as he headed for the room in question. He’d tried to sleep in there before, but the bed felt like a marshmallow. The couch was sturdier and more comfortable for him…not to mention he felt a little too cut off from the rest of the apartment – it was easier to keep an eye on things from the living room.

After dropping the blanket and the pillow he’d used in the guest room he shut the door behind him and headed back toward the living room.

Case was still pouring over the paper, though now she was tapping her fingers and singing, _“We can't ignore there's a threat and a war we must win. Who'll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin?”_

Bucky sat back down on the couch and grabbed his boots, sliding them onto his feet as he watched Case step back and start marching to the beat, swinging her arms back and forth as she belted out, _“Who will redeem, heed the call for America, who'll rise or fall, give his all for America? Who's here to prove that we can?_ _The Star-Spangled Man with a Plan!”_

Bucky gave a cough, and Case looked up at him, “What?”

“Uh…you know you’re not on stage, right?”

Case blinked, her arms were still in the air and she dropped them to her sides, “I uh…force of habit. Spent a ridiculously long time singing that stupid song.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re a workaholic?”

Case rolled her eyes, “Get going, James.”

* * *

_“We all know this is about trying to win the war,” _Steve was saying in the grainy black and white video. He was on stage, standing in front of a line of women all dressed in identical dresses – halter-style dresses with stars sewn into the collar and the striped skirts. _“We can’t do that without bullets and bandages, tanks and tents. That’s where you come in. Every bond you buy will help protect someone you love.”_

The kids in the audience started yelling out after having seen the shadowy figure poking his head from behind the girls.

“Good God…” Bucky said, unable to look away from the screen, “I mean…he told me about the stage show but this…”

“Wait, wait, here comes the best part,” Becca hissed at him.

_“Keep our boys armed and ready and the Germans will think twice about trying to get the drop on us,”_ The shadowy figure jumped out from behind the girls – a guy dressed as Adolph Hitler – and Steve immediately turned around and threw a fake punch, which caused the actor to drop to the floor and the women behind him to gasp and look at Steve in awe.

“So that’s why he’d say he punched out Hitler…”

“You’ve never seen any of this before?” Becca asked, surprised.

“Nope,” Bucky shook his head as the video played out. “I was overseas at the time…when Steve and his dancers came to our camp, I was…” He trailed off, then hit the pause key, “There she is!”

Becca shook her head, “Want some coffee?”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded as he gazed at the screen.

Bucky wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself while Case was with Steve and Sam – usually he didn’t have a problem being alone, but today he wanted companionship, so he’d headed for Becca’s – which earned him an enthusiastic ‘happy birthday’ and a lecture of how he should have told her he was coming, she’d have made him a cake.

_What is it with these women and making me cake?_ Bucky had thought as he’d asked his sister about the Star-Spangled Man with a Plan. Her response had been a burst of laughter as she told him to sit down, he was in for a birthday treat. She’d pulled up the videos on YouTube, and they’d spent the last hour laughing at the ridiculousness of the show.

Now the image of Case saluting the audience and giving a bright, cheesy smile was frozen on Becca’s computer screen…or rather, her television – when her vision started to get weaker her grandkids had opted to rig her computer to the TV, a bigger screen for her to see when she used it.

“I’m surprised she didn’t show you the dress the first chance she got,” Becca called from the kitchen.

“She tried telling me she burned it,” Bucky admitted. “I don’t think Case likes thinking about it.”

“Well no, she wouldn’t,” Becca pointed out as she brought in a tray with two mugs and a pot of coffee. “Once she found out the dancing monkey was Steve it soured her whole view of it…not that she was that thrilled with it to begin with.”

“Then why do it?” Bucky asked.

Becca sighed as she took the seat next to him again, putting the tray on the coffee table. “Hindsight is twenty-twenty. At the time, Case needed work…singing and dancing was something she loved to do. Plus, we were _all_ doing our patriotic duty to our country.” She grabbed her own mug.

“She seems happier though,” Bucky pointed out. “Even though it’s all for the show…you don’t see her smile that brightly anymore.”

Bucky’s gaze remained on the screen, but he could tell Becca was eyeing him with a raised eyebrow. She turned back to the screen and then said, “She still has the dress you know.”

“She does?”

“Yeah…Logan got their possessions when they crashed. It was in her footlocker…he didn’t have the heart to give the stuff away. The dress in the museum is just a replica.”

Bucky just simply hummed, leaning forward to grab the remaining mug on the tray.

Becca shifted as she sipped at her coffee, “So…what were your plans for today?”

“Spend the day with Case…and she was making me a cake,” Bucky cringed as he sipped his coffee.

“Actually, Case’s cooking has definitely improved over the years,” Becca admitted. “She made me a red velvet cake for my birthday last year…turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.”

“Huh…”

“Yeah…she asked me to teach her a few things,” Becca admitted. “But you’re not the only one still afraid, Steve and Ryder still hesitate before they try what she makes.”

“I’ll admit her cinnamon raisin French toast isn’t half bad,” Bucky said. “She didn’t burn it.”

“Still has trouble with scrambled eggs,” Becca pointed out. “Tends to overcook them…mostly because she’s afraid of them being raw when she serves them. But they’re not burnt to a crisp, so it’s an improvement overall.”

Bucky continued drinking his coffee, opting to say nothing.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to spend your birthday with her,” Becca added.

Bucky gave an indifferent shrug, “I guess I should be grateful she still _wants_ to spend time with me—”

“Don’t do that to yourself, _especially_ on your birthday,” Becca cut him off. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do that could make Case stop loving you.”

“You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“But she does, am I right?”

Bucky fidgeted in his seat, “Some of it, yeah.”

“And she still loves you.”

“She’s not the brightest bulb on the tree in that regard.”

Becca rolled her eyes, then grabbed a throw pillow and smacked him in the back of the head with it, “Either get happy or I’m gonna start getting personal.”

Bucky frowned, smoothing out his hair from where the pillow messed it up, “And how is that?”

“Well you can start by dropping to your knees and thanking God that there’s still a woman out there who is willing to touch you.”

“Go back to being nice.”

“Thought you’d see it my way,” Becca smirked.


	9. Hammer to Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter Nine.
> 
> Again, I want to say I’m sorry about the delayed updates – I’ve been trying to get back into a steady update schedule, but time keeps getting away from me. Plus, anytime I had an idea I kept taking it back to the drawing board, because it didn’t seem right.
> 
> So, this one jumps around a bit – with the way I wrote “Flashbulb Memories” there’s a few parts I wanted to cover and flush out a little bit more, but I didn’t want to do a separate “Misadventures” chapter for it. But it also made it kind of difficult because all the parts ended up being kind of short, and after the long wait I wanted to get a decent-sized chapter up and running for you guys.
> 
> So, while this one is a bit of a hodgepodge chapter, it’s sort of written to fit into the blank parts of the previous stories.
> 
> The timeline for this chapter stands as thus:
> 
> Chapter 8 – How Many Roads
> 
> Chapter 17 – Flashbulb Memories
> 
> First page break and second page break of Chapter 9 – How Many Roads
> 
> Chapter 18 – Flashbulb Memories
> 
> Chapter 3 – Misadventures
> 
> Chapter 19 – Flashbulb Memories
> 
> Chapter 20 – Flashbulb Memories
> 
> Third page break of Chapter 9 – How Many Roads
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this latest update. Constructive criticism is always appreciated, and I will do my best to get back on a consistent update schedule.
> 
> And as per the usual, I do not own any rights to “Hammer to Fall” or “Steven Universe” – again, just borrowing some of my own nerdiness to add to the plot.

* * *

Bucky entered Case’s apartment building with a frown on his face, checking his phone for the tenth time in the last five minutes, the digital numbers in the corner reading _11:03 PM_, but his call history only showed the calls he’d made to Case.

Which would be understandable if she still had visitors, but these calls went through multiple rings before going to her voicemail. It would have cut off immediately if she was ignoring them…plus she’d already sent him a text message that Sam and Steve had already left for the evening.

However, that was the last time he’d heard from her. During the four-hour trek from Becca’s home in Brooklyn, Bucky had been met with complete radio silence.

He’d already checked the parking garage, her motorcycle sat in its usual spot, practically gleaming in the dim light, to which Bucky had to admit Stark had done a good job restoring the thing.

But that lead to the question, _where the hell is Case?_

When Bucky reached her door, he dialed the number again and waited. The phone went through it’s usual multi-ring sequence then connected to her voicemail. He searched his pockets for his key and let himself inside, locking everything behind him.

Nothing seemed out of ordinary…Case’s television was on, showing that cartoon with the chubby kid and the colorful gems that she’d become attached to.

Bucky eyed the window across the room, the floor-to-ceiling piece of glass that always had the curtains open to let the natural light in, whether it was sunlight or moonlight.

He _hated_ that window with a passion – it made him feel exposed, and he constantly wondered if anyone was watching them, hiding in one of the empty rooms across the street with a scope, ready to take the shot he still feared was coming…

Bucky shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts away. It didn’t help that he’d spent the better part of a week in one of those empty rooms himself, watching and waiting for the signal that Case had reentered the city limits.

A wave of guilt broke over him as he walked over to the curtains, grabbing the strings and pulling them so they shut, cutting out the moonlight. He hadn’t known who she was…the longer she’d been with Hydra the more he remembered, but when he first saw her, he didn’t recognize her at all.

Steve had only been ‘the man on the bridge’ – but he’d answered both with the same “Who the hell is Bucky?”

And Ryder hadn’t even been a blip on his radar…just another face in the crowd without a name.

Bucky took a deep breath and pulled his phone from his pocket again, dialing Case’s number. Maybe she’d run down to that grocery store again?

** _Here we stand and here we fall  
History won't care at all  
Make the bed, light the light  
Lady Mercy won't be home tonight_ **

** _You don't waste no time at all  
Don't hear the bell but you answer the call  
It comes to you as to us all  
Yeah, we're just waiting for the hammer to fall, yeah_ **

Bucky hit the end button on his call, eyeing the cell phone screen that was now going dim on the coffee table with the icon reading _8 missed calls_.

_“That’s unusual!”_ the chubby kid yelled from the television screen behind him.

Bucky turned and noticed the kid was pointing at a pair of blue jeans that was walking upright on its own. He grabbed the remote and hit the power button as the kid tackled said blue jeans to the ground. The screen instantly went black and the room went silent.

That was when he could hear the water running in the shower. His shoulders slumped in relief, and he felt silly for worrying – Case taking a shower was a logical conclusion.

He headed for the bathroom – he was at least going to let Case know he’d arrived safely. The last time he’d dropped in without warning she’d ended up running past him naked and hadn’t been too happy about the intrusion.

Though to be honest Bucky still didn’t feel guilty over that one. He was a guy, and he found Case incredibly sexy, of _course_ he’d want to see her naked.

He frowned when he noticed the door was ajar. Case never left the door open – save for if she was doing her hair-and-makeup routine, where she usually was running back and forth between rooms or chucking a handful of bobby-pins or the occasional hairbrush out into the hallway in frustration.

The warm moist air from the bathroom was drifting into the hallway, and Bucky nudged the door open more, getting hit with a cloud of steam.

“Case…?” He called out hesitantly, even opting to take a step inside of the humid room. “Shit…Case!”

The curtain was open, and Case was huddled fully clothed on the shower floor, whole body trembling with her face hidden by her arms, which were red and blistered by the water beating down.

Bucky was across the room in a second, metal hand shooting inside to shut the water off completely.

Once the water was off, he could hear Case mumbling into her knees, _“Trop froid, besoin de se réchauffer…trop froid, besoin de se réchauffer…”_

“Case…Cassidy,” Bucky said softly, slowly reaching out his flesh hand to touch her shoulder.

Case’s head shot up with a gasp, “What…the…hell…?”

“You back with me?” Bucky asked.

Case gave a grunt as she shifted, “Maybe…” she hissed as she moved her arms, “Shit…”

“Do you remember what happened?”

Case’s eyes scrunched closed as she shook her head, “Just remember falling asleep watching Steven Universe…then…” She gave a frown before finishing the thought, and took in her surroundings, “Am I in the shower?”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded.

“Fuck…” She breathed as she flopped back against the wall of the shower, resting her head against the tiles as she looked up at the ceiling, “Not again…”

* * *

“So…this is a common occurrence?”

After getting Case changed into some dry clothes, Bucky had marched her back into the kitchen to look at the burns. They did seem to be healing, although not at a rate that Bucky would’ve liked.

Case was currently seated with her arms stretched across the counter, with Bucky standing across from her in the kitchen.

“I wouldn’t say that…no,” Case admitted, not meeting his gaze.

Bucky scrubbed a hand over his face, “Case…”

“Bucky…please…” Case whispered. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, “Look…it doesn’t…”

This was new…something he’d never experienced with Case before. She’d run and hid in closets, sure, but this…

“I…I didn’t wanna go.”

Bucky frowned, “What?”

Case sniffled and wiped at her eyes, “Nothing…never mind…”

Bucky’s frown deepened, “Case…you know you can talk to me about anything…right?”

Case gave a small nod but didn’t meet his gaze.

Bucky gave a sigh, “If you can’t talk to me…can you at least talk to your friend Sam?”

Case gave another nod, “That…that might be better…” She suddenly got up from the stool and headed for her bedroom.

She returned a few moments later carrying a black hoodie sweatshirt, and was grabbing a set of keys from the bowl on the end table by the door when Bucky called out, “And where do you think you’re going?”

Case turned to face him, “I was gonna go see Sam.”

Bucky checked his watch, “At this hour?”

Case gave a shrug, “He said I could.”

“Don’t you think you should wait until your burns heal?”

“I don’t wanna wait.”

“Then at least let me do something about them in the meantime,” Bucky said, reaching into one of the cabinets for the saranwrap. “Come here.”

Case frowned and walked over to him.

“Put your arms out,” Bucky added, pulling the saranwrap out and away from the roll.

“I’m not a leftover, Buck,” Case told him, draping her arms back over the counter.

“I know that Cassidy,” Bucky said, wrapping the plastic over the burns, “Saranwrap doesn’t stick to your skin…it’s good to cover burns until you can seek medical attention.”

Case held still as Bucky worked, “Learned from experience, did you?”

“Oh yeah,” Bucky nodded. “You thought the scars on my shoulder were bad…I had a burn once on my leg that—”

“Never mind Buck,” Case cringed.

Bucky smoothed the last of the saranwrap down, “There…that’ll keep ‘em away from the elements until you get back.”

Case stood straighter and threw the hoodie over her head, “Thanks.”

He gave her a small smile and kissed the crown of her head, “Be safe, okay?”

“Always,” Case returned the smile as she grabbed her keys and left.

* * *

The following night found Bucky pacing back and forth across the main room of Case’s apartment while she spent the second night in a row meeting with her friend Sam.

The last twenty-four hours had been nothing but a whirlwind of nightmares and emotions, from finding Case huddled in her shower to the bit of coitus-interruptus that Steve had managed to cause not once but _twice_ already, Bucky had been grateful for the quiet that the evening had brought them.

At least until they’d settled down for the night.

Bucky had stretched across the sofa while Case had retreated to her bedroom. They’d had roughly an hour of quiet before the screaming had started.

He’d almost been asleep when he heard Case start screaming and sobbing for her mother, begging the woman to help her. Bucky had raced into the bedroom and made it just in time to watch Case roll out of bed and begin hacking and gasping like she couldn’t breathe.

What scared him the most was it was a similar sound to when they were kids and Steve was in the middle of an asthma attack. 

It had taken a few moments of Bucky trying to calm her down – she kept saying she couldn’t move or breathe – for her to realize she wasn’t back with Hydra, and her spine was no longer injured. She’d spent at least five minutes trying to catch her breath as she sat curling her fingers into fists.

It hadn’t been long before she’d sent a text to her friend Sam and raced out the door, leaving a confused Bucky in her wake.

After checking his watch Bucky found it had been nearly two hours. He was getting ready to call her to make sure she was alright when he heard the key in the lock.

She came in quietly, locked the door behind her and tossed the keys in the bowl. She walked over to the counter and sat on one of the stools, a distant look on her face like she was lost in thought.

“Case…are you alright?”

Case simply shook her head.

“Did you talk to Sam?”

That got him a nod.

Bucky chewed on his lip, not sure what else to say. He’d never seen Case like this before, but the more he thought about it he realized he shouldn’t be surprised. She’d been through her own traumas with the last couple of decades, and lord knows when he had his bad days, they were _bad._

“You know…” Case suddenly said in a quiet voice. “The song…do you know the meaning behind ‘Hammer to Fall’?”

Bucky blinked, “I’m sorry?”

“It talks about life and death,” Case continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “About…how death is inevitable. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from…eventually Death will come for you.”

Bucky gave a small hum, not quite sure where the conversation was going.

Case was staring at the floor, chewing on her lips. Finally, she asked, “Do you…do you remember anything?”

“From what?”

“When you fell?”

Bucky shook his head, “Bits and pieces at best. I remember rushing air…getting dragged through the snow…I remember panicking and scratching at…” His right hand went to where the metal and flesh met at his left shoulder, fingers curled as if ready to scratch. He tapped at the fabric of his shirt twice, then curled his hand into a fist and lowered it.

Case closed her eyes, and Bucky watched a tear roll down her cheek. She opened them again but continued to stare at the floor, “I’ve…I’ve cheated death twice, Buck.”

“Case…”

“When I realized the _Valkyrie _was a one-way trip…when Steve put the plane into the dive…” More tears rolled down Case’s cheeks, “God, it happened so fast…”

Bucky’s stomach dropped as he realized where she was going. His breathing started to pick up, he wanted to panic and scream at her to stop. He didn’t want to know about any of that…he didn’t want to face it.

“I…I was hanging on to Steve…then he was gone…they were both _gone,” _Case rambled on. “It was…so cold…I couldn’t breathe water was…there was no air…”

Tears were filling Bucky’s eyes as he finally said, “Case…please…”

She finally looked up at him, “It was so cold…and I was _alone…_I didn’t want to go, Bucky. I wasn’t ready to…”

“Case…please, stop,” Bucky begged, dropping to his knees in front of the stool. He put his hands on her thighs, looking up at her, “Please…don’t do this.”

Case was openly sobbing, “I can’t talk to anyone else James…I tried, but I can’t…”

Bucky just gave a nod, tears rolling down his cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her stomach, hugging her as tightly as he could._ She’s here, she’s right here, _He reminded himself.

He could feel her whole body shaking as she cried, she bent and wrapped her arms around him as best as she could, gripping his shirt so hard he was sure her fingernails would rip holes in it.

“I didn’t want to,” Case whimpered, “God Bucky I didn’t want to go. I wasn’t ready…”

“I know, Cassidy,” Bucky whispered into her shirt, trying to burrow in deeper.

“I was so scared Buck…I didn’t want to go. I wasn’t ready to die.”


	10. Stronger Than You When Doves Cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter Ten.
> 
> I again want to sincerely apologize on the lateness of the updates. Part of its writer’s block, part of it is finding the time to sit down and write. I hate that I haven’t been updating as often, but I still am trying to work on getting back into the regular update schedule.
> 
> The title of this chapter comes from two different songs – Stronger than You from Steven Universe, and When Doves Cry which was originally by Prince, but the version I’m using for this story is a cover by Quindon Tarver from the movie version of Romeo + Juliet.
> 
> The songs aren’t used in the story yet, but possibly as a little foreshadowing.
> 
> Here’s chapter ten – constructive criticism is always appreciated, and I hope you enjoy the newest installment.

* * *

A few days later – and after bidding Bucky a reluctant farewell – Case shot into the parking garage of the Avengers’ Tower, easing her bike into the designated parking space and shut it down, shouldering both her duffel and messenger bags as she headed for the elevator, pulling a large stack of mail out of one of the bags as the doors slid shut.

_“Good morning, Miss Case,”_ Jarvis greeted in a pleasant tone as a quiet hum filled the air and the elevator began its trek to Case’s floor.

“Good morning Jarvis,” Case said, flipping through the envelopes.

_“I take it your time in DC was restful?”_

“Loaded question Jarvis,” Case admitted. “Didn’t exactly go as planned, but I did start working through some of my mental health obstacles, so I guess that’s progress. Any messages?”

_“Your father called,” _Jarvis informed her. _“He wanted to know if you knew why Victor Creed had entered the city limits.”_

“Probably something to do with Ryder,” Case frowned at an envelope. “I haven’t spoken to the man in months. Can you believe this, Jarvis? A discount on cremation services?”

_“I understand the offer provides more affordable options if you use them for both crematory and funeral services.”_

“Yeah, but I haven’t been dead since two-thousand-eleven.”

_“It’s always a good idea to plan things ahead of time…despite Sir’s logic of leaping before looking.”_

“Things that make you go _burgh,_” Case gave a shudder as she flipped to the next envelope in her stack. “Any others?”

_“Yes, Miss D’Ancanto called as well, asking if you were free this weekend. She also made it a point to inform you that your father would not be involved in anything she and Miss Pryde were planning.”_

“If you can give me a reminder to give her a call back that would be great,” Case said as she finished going through her mail.

_“Absolutely Miss Case.”_

“Anything else I should know?” Case asked as the elevator slowed to a stop.

_“Yes, your brother is waiting for you in your apartment…well, maybe waiting is not the exact term.”_

“What do you mean?”

_“He is now fast asleep on your couch.”_

“Does he need the sleep, Jarvis?”

_“Simply put? Yes.”_

“Gotcha,” Case gave a nod, and the doors quietly slid open.

She made her way across the room in absolute silence, pausing by the kitchen island to place the envelopes on the counter and to look at her brother.

Ryder was wearing blue jeans and a gray t-shirt and was stretched out across her couch with his socked feet hanging off the armrest. He’d curled his arms around one of the throw pillows and was quietly snoring into it.

_At least he took his boots off,_ Case shook her head as she made her way to her bedroom. After she made sure the door was securely closed, she asked, “How long’s he been here, Jarvis?”

_“Roughly two hours. He asked me to let him know when you got here, then after about thirty minutes he started to yawn, and ten minutes after that he fell asleep.”_

Case gave a nod, “Let him sleep. I’m gonna grab a shower and wake him myself.”

_“As you wish, Miss Case.”_

From there she made her way toward the bathroom, closing that door behind her as well as she dropped the messenger and duffel bags on the floor as she stripped for a shower.

Aside from the fact she’d just spent a few hours on her motorcycle traveling from DC to Manhattan, she was also taking no chances any whiff of Bucky would be caught by her brother. If he wasn’t ready to face Steve or Ryder, Case didn’t want to give any indications that they were in any sort of contact.

She’d made sure she wore clothing that Bucky had not made any contact with and had showered before she left DC in the first place. Her bags she’d taken to the bathroom in case anything was lingering, she’d figure out how to sanitize them later.

She was being paranoid, yes, Case knew that completely, but she was taking no chances. 

Plus, it was nice having Bucky to herself for a change.

She took her time showering away the grime from the bike trip, mainly to give Ryder more time to sleep. Despite the fact her brother tried to maintain his “I’m normal, everything’s fine” face to the world, Case knew his nightmares were just as bad as hers, and he’d been prone to insomnia as well, he was just better at hiding it.

She emerged from her bedroom in a baggy pair of gray plaid pajama pants and a black t-shirt with Billy Joel on it that said _“We didn’t start the fire. It was always burning since the world’s been turning”_.

She walked over to the couch, this time not being as silent, as she said, “Hey Hypno-Hands, time to get up.”

Ryder gave a grunt and waved his arm blindly in her direction, burying his face deeper into the pillow, _“Cinq minutes de plus…”_

“No way, you’re drooling on my pillows,” Case frowned as she reached him, shoving at his shoulder. “Sit up.”

_“Va te faire foutre,”_ Ryder growled, and turned his back toward her.

“Well that’s a bit rude,” Case frowned at him. “Come on man, don’t make me pull out the big guns, just get up.”

Her brother shifted on the couch then held up his middle finger in response.

“Alright, fine, have it your way,” Case said with a shrug. She silently made her way toward the end of the couch, then counted to thirty-Mississippi. When Ryder still hadn’t moved, Case bent down and scribbled her fingernails up and down the soles of his feet.

With a snort and a high-pitched yelp Ryder jerked onto his back, curling his legs into his chest with his arms in the air above him, hands curled into fists. He glared up at her as he caught his breath, “What the actual _fuck_ Cassidy?”

“I told you to get up, but you wouldn’t listen,” Case gave a shrug, heading toward the kitchen, “And you’re the idiot that left them wide open.”

Ryder scowled at her as he sat up, rubbing his feet against the cushions as he gave a yawn, “When did you get back?”

“About twenty minutes ago,” Case told him, “You hungry?”

“I could eat.”

Case simply gave a nod at that and headed for her refrigerator, pulling out a green and yellow bell pepper along with a pack of mushrooms.

Ryder got to his feet and stretched, making his way across the room to take a seat at the island, “I thought you were all about Queen these days.”

Case closed the cabinet she’d reached into and placed a cutting board down on the counter, and glanced at the shirt she wore before reaching into a drawer for a knife, “While Queen will always be one of my favorites, after having a breakdown about my mortality or possible lack-there-of, the last thing I want to do is rock out to a song that’s a metaphor for death, not to mention the reminder that Freddie Mercury passed in the early nineties.” She washed the peppers first and began cutting the green one into pieces, “His reign began long after we went into the ice and his life ended long before we got out.”

Ryder mulled that over, “Shouldn’t that be his _reign_ ended?”

“Considering ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ was one of the first songs I came across when we got out of the ice back in two-thousand eleven I’m gonna say his reign never really ended even in death.” Case finished chopping and scraped the pieces into a large silver bowl. As she reached for the yellow pepper she added, “Although Tony’s the one that officially introduced me to them, if I’m being honest.”

“How do you figure that?”

“I just knew the one song, Tony had me listen to the rest,” Case pointed out. “He might listen to Black Sabbath loud enough to make your teeth rattle but there’s always at least one Queen song that makes it into his playlists.”

“I never really noticed that,” Ryder admitted. “Most of his music gives me a headache. And I _enjoy_ listening to Black Sabbath…just not at his levels.”

“Try listening to it in the lab,” Case added as she chopped, “I think the acoustics in there make it worse.”

“I can imagine…” Ryder chewed on his lip for a moment, “And uh…you had a breakdown?”

Case sighed, hoping he would’ve skipped over that part, “Yeah…I just…” She put the knife down on the counter, and asked, “What were your final thoughts? Before we crashed?”

“On the _Valkyrie_?”

“Yeah.”

Ryder sat a little straighter, but his gaze drifted to the counter and away from hers. “I um…” He rubbed at the back of his neck.

She could see Ryder was visibly tensing up as he gathered his words. “Hey look, if it’s…I don’t like talking about it either,” Case told him, and he looked up at her with pain-filled eyes. “I just wondered…but if you can’t talk about it yet, that’s fine…I just wondered because Steve and I were talking about the crash.”

“Yeah, can I take that rain-check?”

Case just nodded and picked up her knife, resuming her chopping, “No judgements here.”

Ryder grabbed a mushroom from the pack and popped it in his mouth as he asked, “Is there anything _you_ wanna talk about with…all of that?”

_Absolutely fucking not, _Case scraped some of the yellow pepper pieces into the bowl next. “Dude those weren’t even washed yet.”

“The sticker on the plastic says they’re pre-washed.”

“Since when do you trust labels?”

Ryder shrugged, “Since I realized I’m not gonna die from eating one single mushroom.”

Case made a disgusted face at that.

“Also, you’re dodging the question,” Ryder added as he grabbed another mushroom.

“You keep eating those there won’t be any left for the omelet,” Case pointed out as she kept chopping the rest of the yellow pepper. As she saw Ryder’s fingers creep toward the cutting board, she snapped, “Don’t even think about it!”

Ryder yanked his hand back, “Jesus Cassidy no need to get hostile. It’s just _food_.”

“You nearly bit Bucky’s hand off when he tried to steal your coffee,” Case pointed out.

“That’s different,” Ryder said as he folded his arms. “When it comes to caffeine, it’s every man for himself.”

Case rolled her eyes and scraped the rest of the yellow pepper into the bowl, “Jarvis said you wanted to talk to me?”

Ryder frowned, “You never answered my question.”

“Rain check Ryder.”

He gave a sigh, “Right…”

“So, what’s on your mind?” Case asked as she went to the cabinet for her colander.

Ryder pinched at the bridge of his nose, “Um…well…I wanted to ask you something.”

“I’m listening.”

Ryder blew out a breath, then asked, “Have you heard from Mom lately?”

The metal colander fell to the ground with a loud clang as it slipped from Case’s fingers. She whirled around to face him, “Say what now?”

“I…I was wondering if you’d heard from Mom.”

Case frowned at the terrified look Ryder had on his face, and she picked the colander up from the floor, walking to the sink to rinse it off, “No. No I have not.”

_Nor do I want to, nor do I plan to, nor do I ever wish to hear from her again,_ Case thought with a scowl, keeping her back to her brother so he didn’t see the look.

“That’s what I thought…”

Case finished the rinsing and made her way to the counter to grab the mushrooms, dumping the whole pack into the colander to run under the water, “What brought that up?”

“I heard a rumor she was looking to get in contact.”

_So that’s where this conversation is going,_ Case realized as she finished rinsing her mushrooms. “Do you _want_ to get in contact with her?”

“Of course not!”

Case turned off the faucet and shook the colander to try and get rid of any extra water. She grabbed a paper towel to put underneath as she returned to her cutting board, pulling out a handful of mushrooms to chop. “You don’t want to talk to her but you’re asking if I’ve talked to her?”

Ryder shifted in his seat, “I…I dunno.”

“Ryder—”

“Look, as far as I’m concerned, she can stay gone,” Ryder snapped. “She abandoned us for Hydra when we were five and she never gave us a second thought.”

“I know.”

“So why the hell should I want to talk to her?” Ryder continued. “All it’s going to bring is pain. That’s all she seems to bring to people!”

“Well Hydra’s motto is order through pain.”

“I thought it was cut off one head, two more shall rise.”

“Well that one too, obviously.”

The room fell silent after that, save for the sounds of Case’s knife against the cutting board as she chopped the mushrooms and scraped them into her silver mixing bowl.

“I mean, who does she think she is?” Ryder then demanded. “Does she think we can just ignore the last ninety years? What the hell kinda logic is that?”

“We’re talking about the woman who abandoned us for Hydra,” Case pointed out. “Logic disappeared out the window over ninety years ago.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Case sighed as she scraped the last of the mushrooms into the bowl, “You want to reach out to her, don’t you?”

“I just told you I don’t.”

“Yes, I know that’s what you said,” Case agreed. “Now how about admitting what you mean.”

Ryder sighed, “I…I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what you mean?”

“I mean…ninety years, she abandoned us.”

“We’ve already established that one, Ryder,” Case nodded. _Come on, Ryder, out with it, you’ll feel better,_ she thought with a sigh as she walked toward the refrigerator, grabbing a carton of eggs.

“And look what she’s done,” Ryder added. “I mean…she erased your memories; made you forget most of what happened when you were with them in Siberia.”

“This is also true.”

“And…Bucky,” Ryder continued, “How am I supposed to forgive _that_? Huh? Helping them rip him to shreds for _decades_…and does she even feel bad about it? Probably not.”

_Also correct, _Case agreed silently as she began cracking eggs in the bowl.

“But on the other hand…”

_There it is, I knew you’d get there eventually._

“She’s our mother,” Ryder said, finally seeming to deflate. 

“That she is,” Case agreed. She reached the end of the carton, and grabbed a whisk, mixing the contents in the bowl, “And so that means you _do_ want to contact her.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

Ryder simply huffed and folded his arms childishly, glaring at the counter instead.

Case gave a sigh and pinched at the bridge of her nose, “Ryder…it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”

Case took a deep breath then blew it out, “Alright, no, you’re right. It’s not.”

“She hurt…_everyone._”

“But as you argued, she’s our…” Case gritted her teeth, “She’s our _mother_.”

She couldn’t keep the disgust off her face as she said the word, and Ryder’s shoulders slumped but his arms remained folded across his chest.

“Ryder…” Case said carefully. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to tell her to take a very short walk off a very high cliff.”

“Do you really?”

Ryder pinched at his nose, arms still folded, “Yes, in all honesty, I do.”

“But…?”

Ryder chewed on his lip, but he didn’t say a word.

Case finished the mixing, then grabbed a pan for the omelet. It wasn’t until the mixture was sizzling away in the pan before Ryder spoke again.

“Did you…ever…” He hesitated, “Before Hydra and everything…did you ever want to see her again?”

Case shifted the pan contents with a spatula, “Course I did. She was my mother…I spent weeks waiting up for her to come back to us.”

“I did too,” Ryder admitted quietly.

“You still can, you know.”

Ryder huffed, “Right, like you’d forgive me for that.”

_Say what now?_ Case frowned and moved the pan off the burner for now. “What do I have to do with it?”

“Come on, Cassidy, it’s no secret you hate the woman,” Ryder frowned.

“Yes, I do,” Case nodded. “I hate her for what she did to us, to Dad, and to Bucky. But that’s _my_ relationship with her, _my_ ongoing problem. Not yours.”

“Even so—”

“Ryder, I get that you’re just as angry as I am,” Case told him. “But if you get to a point where you want to reach out to her, that’s fine. I’m not going to stop you.”

“You…you wouldn’t?”

“No,” Case shook her head. “Maybe wonder if you’re feeling okay, but if you reach that point then so be it. I’ll say to be careful and mind what you say, and if I’m not in the same mindset as you then don’t expect me to follow.”

“You wouldn’t hate me if I decide I want to talk to her?”

“Do you honestly think I would hate you?”

“I…well…” Ryder stammered.

_Does he think that little of me?_ Case sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “Ryder…if it came down to it, I can’t tell you not to talk to Mom. I can’t say I’ll like it or that I’ll be happy with the decision, but I won’t stand in the way. And I won’t hold it against you to do it either.”

Ryder’s shoulders relaxed a little bit, “Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for, but alright, I’ll take it,” Case gave a small smile as she returned to the stove. “Anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah. Did Bucky ever find out who she was?”

The pan landed on the burner with a loud clattering sound, and Case had the spatula gripped in white knuckles. “No.”

“No? You didn’t tell him?”

Case’s jaw started to ache from how hard her teeth were clenched, “I mean…he knew we knew each other, even asked how we did…”

“But he doesn’t know she’s our mother?”

Case shook her head, “No. No he does not. At least as far as I know…I know I didn’t tell him, and I sure as hell doubt Mom would’ve told him.”

“Do you plan on telling him?”

“Look, Bucky’s _gone_,” Case snapped, whirling around to face him. “It doesn’t matter what I plan to tell him or not. He’s not here, and he’s not coming back anytime soon! So, thinking about what I wanna say to him doesn’t fucking matter!” She turned back to her eggs, cringing and trying to fix the scrambled egg mixture from overcooking.

“You’re afraid of telling him, aren’t you?”

“Ryder—”

“Am I wrong?”

Case cringed as the eggs began to stick, and as she vigorously scraped the pan she grumbled, “Ryder, I’m _not_ getting into this right now.”

“I doubt it would affect anything,” Ryder pointed out. “Bucky was in love with you—”

“_Was_ being the key word there, Ryder,” Case pointed out. Once she was satisfied her eggs were no longer sticking, and were fully cooked, she removed the pan from the burner and turned off the stove. She turned to face her brother, “Let’s face it, the man who fell from the train and the man Hydra created are two different individuals. Yes, he loved me seventy years ago, but that was before Mom and the rest of Hydra started ripping him apart.”

“And you think that’s changed because of Hydra?”

_“Please…don’t give me that look.”_

_“What look?”_

_“That…that scowl. It reminds me of…”_

_“It reminds you of _her_?”_

_“Yeah…it does.”_

Case shuddered, “Look um…food’s yours. I’m gonna get dressed and take a walk.”

“Case…?”

Case booked to her bedroom, grabbing her wallet, iPod, keys, and cell phone from her bag in the bathroom before donning a pair of sneakers and blue jeans.

Ryder was still sitting at the counter with a confused look on his face when she headed for the elevator.

As she waited for the doors to open, Ryder asked, “Do you ever plan on telling him the truth?”

“About what?” Case asked as the doors opened.

Ryder frowned at her, “That Kayla Silverfox is our mother. Do you plan to tell him?”

Case met his gaze as she stepped backward into the lift. “Ground floor, Jarvis.”

_“As you wish, Miss Case.”_

“Cassidy!” Ryder yelled as the doors slid shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as per the usual, I don’t speak a lick of French. But these are how it’s supposed to translate through Google:
> 
> “Cinq minutes de plus…” – Five more minutes
> 
> “Va te faire foutre,” – Go fuck yourself. Although when run back through the translator, it also shows Kiss my ass, Fuck off, and Bugger off – so go ahead and take your pick.
> 
> Anyway, that’s that, see you in chapter eleven.


	11. Some Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome, finally, to Chapter Eleven.  
Again, I’m sorry for the lateness of the update. Not sure what’s happening but between a busy schedule and writer’s block I’m having a really hard time updating.   
I hope this makes up for it, and I will see you as soon as I can in Chapter Twelve.   
Obviously, I do not own the song “Some Nights” – song credit goes to Fun.

* * *

** _Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck  
Some nights I call it a draw  
Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle  
Some nights I wish they'd just fall off_ **

With her earbuds plugged into her ears blasting the next song up in her iPod, Case stopped inside of a small store to purchase a pair of aviator-style sunglasses before she continued her walk, fuming and debating and just wishing things were different.

But, wish though she had since last April, several truths in her life had not changed.

Kayla Silverfox was still her mother _and _a member of Hydra.

Case herself was still head over heels in love with Bucky Barnes, who was still recovering from spending the last seventy years of his life as Hydra’s prized pet.

** _But I still wake up, I still see your ghost  
Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh  
Whoa oh-oh (What do I stand for?)  
Whoa oh-oh (What do I stand for?)   
Most nights I don't know anymore..._ **

And, if Case was being _completely_ honest with herself…Ryder was right. She was absolutely terrified of Bucky finding out the truth about their mother. What was there she could say? _“Hey Buck, remember how I said my mom died? Turns out she was never dead at all. She was a member of Hydra, ditched them when the rabbit died and stuck around for the first couple of years of my life then abandoned my brother and me to join them again. Oh, and that blue-eyed mutant that can use tactile hypnosis and gave the orders to erase your memories? That’s her.”_

Oh yes, that would go over _quite_ well.

As she pushed the aviators up the bridge of her nose she was grateful she stopped to make the purchase – not only was it an overly bright, sunshiny day, she was now developing a nice migraine because of the inner turmoil she was feeling…which came to an abrupt halt when she accidentally bumped into a woman who was also rushing down the street.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” Case gasped, feeling her cheeks burn as she quickly caught the woman’s shopping bags before they hit the ground. She pulled an earbud out of her ear with one hand and held out the bags in her other hand, “I wasn’t paying attention—”

“No, it’s okay,” The woman gave her a friendly smile. She had curly brown hair and stood a few inches taller than Case and her eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses of her own. “I should’ve been watching—”

“Are you the Siren?”

Both Case and the woman looked down at the small girl who’d spoken. She looked up at Case with large, innocent eyes and clutched the woman’s hand tightly in her own.

“Uh…sort of,” Case gave the child a friendly smile. “When I’m working I am.”

“Wow!” The girl said in awe, “Can I see your claws?”

“Now, now Sadie,” A tall man came up behind both, casting a look of distrust Case’s way, “I’m sure the _mutant_ is rather busy, and we’re actually running late for an appointment.”

“What appointment?” The woman asked him with a cocked eyebrow.

“You know that _appointment,_” Her male companion said pointedly.

Case gave a nervous chuckle and held her arms up in surrender, “I get it…sorry to have kept you.” Case lifted the bags again, and the woman took them with an apologetic look on her face. “Nice meeting you…sorry Sadie, I’ll have to show you the claws another time.”

The man scowled her way while Sadie gave her a cheerful wave as Case headed on down the sidewalk, trying not to let her shoulders slump.

** _This is it, boys, this is war – what are we waiting for?  
Why don't we break the rules already?  
I was never one to believe the hype  
Save that for the black and white  
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked  
But here they come again to jack my style_ **

Her phone gave a cheerful chime, signaling a text message. Case pulled her phone from her pocket and slid her thumb across the screen to unlock it.

No contact name, just a phone number that was becoming quite familiar and made Case’s lips quirk up in a smile as it gave an instant lift to her spirits.

**You get back to the Tower ok?**

** _That's alright (that's alright)  
I found a martyr in my bed tonight  
She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am  
Oh, who am I? _ **

Grin still in place, Case sent back, **Yep, out walking now. How bout you? Get home in one piece?**

A few moments later, he sent back: **Out for a walk already? You get in a fight with your brother or something?**

Case’s grin dropped into a frown, **What makes you say that?**

**I know the timeframes to get from Manhattan and DC, and you’re not the get up and go type after a trip unless there’s a reason for it. **

**Well if you lived a life of going, going, gone how would you feel? **Case sent the message before she thought it through, then chewed on her lip and added, **Never mind, you don’t have to answer that.**

** _Well, some nights I wish that this all would end  
'Cause I could use some friends for a change  
And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again  
Some nights I always win, I always win..._ **

Her phone chimed again as Case’s nose caught something in the air. She recognized the scent quickly and didn’t even look at Bucky’s response before she hastily typed out, **Gotta go. Talk later.**

She quickly set the phone to vibrate and shoved it back into her pocket, ignoring the next alert that came in.

Maybe she was imagining things? That was possible, right? Similar scents in the air and obsessive thoughts could be causing…oh who was she kidding? She’d tried to use that logic with the Winter Soldier, and her nose had been right all along.

_Shit,_ Case scrunched her eyes shut and rubbed at her temples. Of all the things to happen right now, this was the _last_ thing she needed.

_Although,_ maybe it was a coincidence? New York in general seemed to be crawling with villainous activity, hence why their headquarters was still located in Manhattan…and Case was using the word “still” quite a lot today, as far as she was concerned.

However, there was only one way to find out the reason…at least potentially. With a sigh, Case began quietly singing along to the song in her ears, _“But I still wake up, I still see your ghost. Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh. What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights I don't know...”_

As she walked the she scents continued to follow, so that meant they were following her, at least that’s what she assumed. Better to be safe than sorry in any case. She pulled her iPod from her pocket and hit the pause button, casually pulling the earbuds away from her ears and wrapping them around the small music player. She slid the device back into her pocket as she ducked down a nearby alleyway. 

The woman was wearing a lightweight white sweater and blue jeans, with her long dark hair pulled into a low ponytail underneath a black fedora hat. Her boots made little noise as she paused at the mouth of the alleyway, eyes also hidden under dark glasses as she gave a confused frown and looked up and down the street.

With a growl Case lunged, grabbing the woman by the collar of her shirt to yank her into the alley, wrenching one of her arms behind her back before shoving her into the dirty brick wall, “What the hell are you doing here?”

A grunt was the first response, followed by, “For starters, Cassidy, I’m your _mother._”

“No, you lost that title years ago,” Case snapped, although she let go and took a few steps back, clenched fists dropping to her sides.

Kayla Silverfox gave a cough as she caught her breath, before dusting herself off. “You seemed pretty agitated, have another fight with Ryder?”

_What the fuck?_ Case blinked in confusion, “Why would you assume I had a fight with him?”

“Because that’s how you always looked when you stormed off,” Silverfox told her, pulling the sunglasses from her face. She folded them and hooked them into her collar, “Albeit it’s a little more powerful now than when you were a child.”

Case grit her teeth and folded her arms across her chest, “What the _hell_ are you doing here?”

“A mother can’t come see their child?”

Case blinked, and scratched at her head, trying to process the question. “You…actually came to see me?”

Silverfox shifted on her feet, “I told Victor I wanted to talk with the two of you…and apparently Ryder told him ‘not a chance in hell’—”

“Sounds about right.”

“So…I just…” Silverfox looked down at the ground. “I kinda just stumbled onto you by accident.”

“Oh, so you planned on stalking us?”

“You know, stalking is such a…a _strong_ word—”

“Stalk me mother and I’ll kick your ass.”

“Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“Me? I’m being ridiculous?” Case demanded in a shrill voice. “You _abandoned_ us back in nineteen twenty-three! Not to mention allowed Hydra to kidnap me—”

“I had no idea that Pierce was planning that—”

“And instead of helping me escape, you tried your hardest to keep your cover,” Case snapped angrily. “Instead of coming with Dad to try and explain what happened with Hydra…oh, and instead of coming back after the Winter Soldier fiasco you just…what? Decided to disappear with the rest of the rats that abandoned the sinking ship?”

“I didn’t know how much you remembered—”

“I remembered _everything_ after I saw Bucky on the causeway.”

“Bucky…incidentally, how is the lust of your life doing?” Silverfox asked in a casual tone.

Case’s right eye twitched at the description – _lust of your life._ She took a deep breath to calm herself down, and said, “I really don’t know. After he ditched Steve by the Potomac we haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

“Really?” Her mother didn’t sound convinced.

“He didn’t know us,” Case pointed out. “Trust me, Steve’s been looking, but the guy knows how to disappear.”

“Yeah and he’s been stirring up just as much trouble as the rest of you with your Hydra raids,” Silverfox folded her arms across her chest.

“What?”

“You didn’t know? I thought it would have been obvious…surely you didn’t think we blew up all of our bases when we had to abandon ship.”

“Truth be told I hadn’t put much thought into it,” Case admitted. “I figured whatever caused some of those explosions was a blessing in disguise. Hydra deserves to be burnt to the ground.”

“Which I understand you and your so-called friends helped do that to the bulk of SHIELD.”

True most of SHIELD was still in shambles, Case couldn’t argue that. “What did you expect? We didn’t know who we could trust or who wasn’t working for the enemy.” She shook her head, “Regardless…why the hell are you following me?”

“I hadn’t…like I said, the initial intention wasn’t to follow you.”

“But you still decided to do it.”

“Look…Ryder’s been digging into things he shouldn’t…” Silverfox began, “And…he needs to stop.”

Case rolled her eyes, “Ryder’s gonna do whatever the hell he wants to do. I sure as hell can’t stop him…” She then gave a sigh as she frowned and her arms dropped to her sides, “You were waiting for _him_, weren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Case’s shoulders slumped, and she looked toward the ground as she mumbled, “He always was your favorite, wasn’t he?”

“It wasn’t like that Cassidy, it never was,” Silverfox said in a firm voice. “I never played favorites—”

“You played favorites between me and Bucky!” Case’s gaze shot back up toward her. “Don’t you dare fucking try and tell me that you didn’t try and do it when Ryder and I were kids!” 

“You are my _child_, Cassidy!”

“Not in Siberia I wasn’t.”

Silverfox pinched the bridge of her nose, “Cassidy, I don’t want to get into this right now—”

“Then go back into the hole you crawled out of,” Case snarled. “Stay away from me and stay the hell away from Ryder.”

“Ryder’s been making waves.”

“Yeah, he’s an Avenger, and before that a Howling Commando,” Case scoffed. “Making waves for Hydra has been his job for a long time.”

“Yeah, but Hydra doesn’t want its secrets uncovered,” Silverfox pointed out.

“Not my problem,” Case shrugged.

“You’re risking your brother’s life, you know, that right?”

“Ryder’s been doing that since he enlisted in the army when he turned twenty.”

Silverfox frowned, “If he was in since then how did Barnes—”

“Yeah, I don’t get it either and Ryder doesn’t like thinking about it.”

“But if Ryder was—”

“Oh, believe me, many nights there was a bitch-fest on how Ryder tried to get out on his own but wasted his time and then suddenly Bucky swoops in and once again Ryder’s following _him_, just like when we were kids.”

“Following him?”

“Well, Bucky was the oldest,” Case admitted. “Sometimes he seemed like the leader of our group…although most of the time we were running after Steve trying to stop him from doing something stupid…” She chewed on her lip, “But that’s a separate story.”

Silverfox sighed, “Cassidy—”

“Look, I’m sure if you wait long enough, you’ll have your opening to try and talk to Ryder. I doubt he’ll be very receptive, but if you decide to talk to him you can do so at any time. However, there is nothing else you can say that will keep my interest. So, it’s been a blast rehashing heart-wrenching memories but I’ve gotta get going.”

“Cassidy…” Silverfox began, but Case was already moving. “Cassidy!”

Against her better judgement, the stern tone her mother used made Case pause at the mouth of the alley, and she took a deep calming breath as she asked, “What?”

“He remembered you.”

That got her attention, and she whirled around to face her mother, “Excuse me?”

“The Asset,” Silverfox said, “He remembered you.”

_The Asset,_ Case gave a huff of annoyance as she said, “Yeah, sure. Right before you put his brain in a blender.”

“Not that time…” Silverfox said hesitantly. “It was…” She shifted on her feet before approaching, “What happened between you two the night he shot Fury?”

“Nothing. Trailed him a few blocks, until I realized he was backtracking and sending me in circles,” Case hugged her arms around her chest, her eyes going to the ground, “Thought I was going crazy.”

Out of the corner of her eye she could see her mother slowly getting closer, “I don’t know what happened, or what he saw…but he took one look at me and said your name.”

_That can’t be a good sign,_ “He thought that was your name?”

“No, he said that was _your _name,” Silverfox told her. “Seeing me apparently reminded him of that fact.”

_So, he knows we look alike, means nothing. Dad said that to me for how many years? _Case looked up at her, “And how did you feel about that?”

“How do you feel about it?”

Case scowled, “I asked you first.”

Silverfox shrugged, “I told him not to speak about it, tried to shrug it off. Unfortunately, he also couldn’t drop the issue of knowing ‘the man on the bridge’ and so Pierce ordered—”

“Okay I get the picture,” Case interrupted, suddenly feeling nauseous. She had a feeling she knew where that part was heading, “Why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t know…just thought maybe you should know he could never forget any of you completely,” The woman said quietly. “You guys must’ve meant the world to him.”

Case just gave an indifferent shrug, not bothering to respond.

* * *

Bucky paced the length of the room, which wasn’t very much, waiting for Case’s reply. She’d sent the text about talking to him later, but he hadn’t heard from her in _hours. _

He was about ready to grab his phone from the table and call her when it chimed with a new text message.

**Sorry about that…had to deal with a ghost. **

Bucky cocked an eyebrow, **A ghost.**

**That’s what I said, a ghost.**

**Are you feeling okay?**

A few minutes passed, and Bucky wondered if maybe he’d sent the wrong thing.

**Metaphorical ghost, James, not a real one.**

_Okay…_Bucky chewed on his lip for a moment, **You alright now?**

**Yeah, at home in the Tower and everything,** Case sent back. **Currently enjoying movie night with the team.**

**And what is this month’s show?**

**You know I already forgot the name…some B-rated horror movie with way too much fake blood and a girl running around naked. Something with strippers, I think…**

_How in the hell…never mind,_ Bucky shook his head, not wanting to put too much thought into the idea, **Interesting choice.**

**Clint picked it…B-rated horror movies are his thing. He finds them hilarious.**

Bucky smiled at that and was about to send a response when Case sent another.

**Apparently, I’m supposed to tell Springfield Johnson that if he does not wish to attend movie night then he’s not allowed to disrupt it either.**

**Why did you name me after a sub-par rifle?**

**You did NOT just insult my 1903 Springfield; may he rest in peace. He served me well during the war, thank you very much. **

Bucky frowned, and sent back, **May he rest in peace?**

**There was no salvaging him after the crash, or so SHIELD told me. **

_Well, shit,_ Bucky blinked. Case’s rifle and pistol were her prized possessions when they were overseas, **The Walther too?**

**Yep, both gone.**

**I’m sorry.**

There was a few more moments of silence, then, **Apparently, I’m disrupting the delicate balance of movie night, so I must cut this short.**

**You friends can’t focus on killer strippers when you’re sending text messages?**

**Evidently. **

**Alright, well talk to you later then.**

**Until then. **

Meanwhile, stretched across a large couch in the Avengers’ Tower, Case rolled her eyes and snapped, “Are you happy, Tony? I’ve said goodnight and ended the conversation.”

“I’m just saying,” Tony rolled his eyes, stretched across a large armchair and ottoman, “How else are we going to focus on this _riveting_ storyline of demon strippers while you’re going back and forth with your secret boyfriend?”

“_Werewolf_ strippers get it right Stark,” Clint said, seated on the floor near the coffee table, helping himself to a handful of popcorn.

“And I don’t have a secret boyfriend,” Case rolled her eyes, “I was talking to my friend Marie. We’ve been trying to figure out plans where we can get together and hang out, which is no mean feat considering we’re both on separate teams trying to save the world.”

“I’ve never known your face to light up like that when you talk to any member of the X-Men, Case,” Natasha smirked from another armchair.

“Can we just get back to this…” Steve was seated on another couch next to Ryder, both wearing looks that showed they _wanted_ to leave but didn’t want to be rude. He leaned over to the mutant, “_Should_ we call this a movie?”

“I don’t know, aren’t movies supposed to be _good?_” Ryder murmured back.

“I heard that you jokers,” Clint snapped.

Case then tuned out the debate that ensued, focus again going to her phone. She scrolled through her contacts list, settling on the newest number she’d added.

She’d debated about adding it to begin with, but if she was trying to avoid speaking with the individual then knowing the number was better than not. She wasn’t bothering with a contact name, but she hesitated before scrolling through the separate ringtones, settling on a custom one labelled, _Stronger Than You._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also want to make note that the part of Bucky remembering Case’s name stems from a comment from “Flashbulb Memories” about seeing that moment from Bucky’s POV. While still in development, ideally, I want to hash out a full chapter and add that to Misadventures once completed. So, stay tuned guys, and any constructive criticism is always appreciated.   
Another note I want to add is this: the movie the Avengers are watching is a legitimate movie, I think the title is called “Strippers VS Werewolves”


	12. Say the Word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never – welcome to the long-awaited Chapter Twelve!  
I again want to apologize for the lateness of the update. I WILL complete the story, and I am working on getting back into the update schedule. I can only promise I will do my best to get the next update written and online as soon as possible.  
Also, standard disclaimer: during the time away, I re-watched “Kim Possible”, and thought this song fit the situation a little bit. I do not own the song, save for the copy I purchased quite some time ago.

* * *

**May 2015**

Natasha checked her watch as the elevator descended toward the gym of the Avengers’ Tower. For the last month she had been working with Ryder trying to dig deeper into Case’s time with Hydra, although what Ryder was trying to find she wasn’t sure, but she believed that the research wasn’t _just_ about finding out what happened to his sister.

She was a little surprised about the information he already had – although he swore that someone doctored the files, they were incredibly detailed otherwise. Security footage and stills, dates and timeframes – someone had compiled it for him, Natasha was sure of it.

However, that also brought them to this afternoon, when they had watched a video entitled ‘The Confession of Cassidy Howlett’.

Even Natasha had to admit the scene had been painful to watch.

Case had always kept her feelings for Bucky close to the vest – sure, everyone knew she was head over heels for him, and had assumed he was the love of her life…but nobody had actually heard her say the words.

And yet she had been willing to throw it all down in a Hail Mary to try and set Barnes free.

That had been almost two hours ago. At the completion of the video, Ryder had promptly walked over the garbage can in his kitchen and picked it up, vomiting his lunch into the plastic bin as he marched into his bedroom. Within minutes he came back out sans garbage can, the jeans and button-up shirt he had been wearing exchanged for a t-shirt and basketball shorts, and he was across the room and in the elevator before Natasha could say one word.

“Is Ryder still in the gym, Jarvis?” Natasha asked.

_“Yes, Agent Romanoff. He’s still in there…he seems quite distressed.”_

“Distressed how?”

_“To borrow Sir’s vernacular, he is beating a punching bag within an inch of its life while screaming obscenities, both in English and in French.”_

_Wow,_ Natasha frowned.

When Case had initially gone missing, Ryder did not handle it very well. Both Natasha and Steve had tried to keep him occupied, otherwise he was hounding all the SHIELD agents involved in the search, asking for updates. If not in the SHIELD offices he would be in Tony’s lab, asking if those searches had come up with anything on his end. 

She was sure he had not slept at all between the time Case was taken and when they got the message she’d been found, and for months after he still seemed ill at ease – while it was assumed that there would be some psychological trauma that Ryder would need to sort through due to her disappearance, it seemed to go farther, almost like he thought she’d disappear the moment he’d shut his eyes. 

Although she would bet her last dime that the _only_ thing that changed those tracks in his mind was finding out James Barnes and the Winter Soldier were one and the same.

The doors opened with a quiet hiss and brought her back to the present, and she could hear the ruckus Jarvis had indicated.

“Wow what language, Howlett,” She called out, announcing her presence as she walked into the room.

_“_ _Derzhis' ot menya podal'she, Natasha_ _!”_

The furious tone he used made Natasha froze in her tracks, “Since when do you speak Russian?”

“No!” Ryder snarled, whirling around to face her. “We’re not doing this now. I don’t want you here! I don’t want anyone here! _Laisse-moi seul__!_”

At that moment the phone in Natasha’s hand lit up, and Case’s face lit up the screen – New Year’s Eve if Natasha’s memory served, two party hats were stuck to her head, pointing out in separate directions like horns while the mutant in question struck a Superman pose.

** _If you find your world is cavin’ in,  
You can bet your gonna need a friend  
You will fly  
Or I will take your fears away_ **

Ryder glared at her, to which Natasha responded, “You left your phone upstairs.”

“Then answer it and tell Case to back the fuck off!”

“That’s _your _job,” Natasha shrugged and held out the device.

** _Say the word  
Make a call and I’ll be there  
Anytime, anywhere  
Have you heard  
That I’m all about savin’ your world  
All you have to do is say the word_ **

Ryder grabbed the phone from her hand and slid his thumb across the screen, ignoring the call. He shoved the device in the pocket of his shorts and went back to the bag.

“Ryder—”

“Did I not make it clear that I wanted to be _alone?_” Ryder snapped.

“You made it abundantly clear,” Natasha admitted. “But that’s not making me leave.”

Ryder growled and went back to his punches.

“You knew her…when you were a child, you knew her.” Ryder ignored her, so she went to the file she had carried down, “You know…when you asked me to help you, I thought you were going to show me _everything._”

“I did.”

“No, you showed me what you wanted me to see,” Natasha said. “For example, I thought Case hadn’t seen any of these—”

_“She hasn’t.”_

“And yet some of these notes are in her handwriting.”

That one earned her a snort, “Good God, I would _love_ to be a fly on the wall if you tell her that.” He paused, “Actually…don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I like you Romanoff…and I’d hate to see your entrails on the floor after you made that comment to Case.”

The ringtone began again, and with a growl Ryder grabbed his phone from his pocket and ignored the call again.

“Is this about what was said—”

“Would you just get the fuck away from me already?” Ryder roared, whirling around again. “What part of this are you not understanding? I do _not_ want to talk about this, I do _not_ want to talk to anyone. _I want to be alone!”_

“Ryder—”

Ryder gave a yell and threw one last punch, the bag flying off the hooks and sending a shower of sand across the room in its wake. The mutant dropped to his knees, and Natasha walked around, sitting across from him on the floor.

“Steve said it would help,” Ryder whimpered, plopping down on his backside, shoving his fingers through his hair. “He said beating a punching bag helps…but it didn’t…” 

“Ryder, I get that it hurts—”

Ryder looked up at her, giving a laugh that was borderline hysterical, “Hurts? You think that this is all that it is? Natasha, I can handle pain…if it just _hurt,_ I could deal.”

Natasha tried to reach out, but Ryder scooted backward, out of her reach.

“Don’t _touch_ me.”

“I’m sorry,” Natasha withdrew the hand. “I’m just worried…I’ve never seen you like this.”

Ryder took a deep breath, “I…I didn’t want to let him go.”

“But Ryder—”

“I tried to keep him safe,” the mutant whimpered. “I…he told me to let him go…so I did…but I didn’t want to…God I should’ve—”

“What happened to him was not your fault,” Natasha told him.

“Really? It’s what Silverfox tried to make Case believe,” Ryder hissed. “Clearly _she _believes it.”

“Who cares what she thinks?”

He exhaled through his nose, glaring at her for a few moments before asking, “Why do you think I knew her as a kid?”

Natasha opened the folder she held, and cleared her throat, _“__Cassidy is as stubborn as she always was, even to the point of using that childish nickname her brother gave her when they were three. She knows I’ve always detested it, but she still continues to use it anyway.”_

“So? Everyone knows ‘Case’ is a nickname.”

“And if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times. You are a _horrible_ liar.”

“Why are you so sure I’m lying?”

Natasha pinched at the bridge of her nose, “Ryder…I’m gonna go out on a limb and say there’s only _five_ people that know you gave Case that nickname when you were children. Your dad, your uncle. Case, obviously. I assume Steve and Bucky…you never even told _us_ that.”

Ryder’s jaw clenched, “Did I ever tell you the story of my mother?”

“Yeah, she disappeared when you were kids…”

“When we were five,” Ryder said bluntly. “February twentieth, nineteen-twenty-three.”

“Okay…so—”

“You really don’t remember?”

Natasha frowned, “Remember what?”

Ryder sighed, and got to his feet. “Fury brought her up during our first mission together. When he laughed at the idea Case and I were hiding our mutations…he asked us about Victor Creed and Kayla Silverfox.”

“Yeah, and you threw Creed in his face saying that you weren’t him.”

“But I _am_ like Kayla Silverfox,” Ryder told her. “I’m a tactile hypnotist and I see her blue eyes every time I look in the mirror.”

“Her blue…?” The lightbulb suddenly went on for Natasha, and she felt incredibly stupid for not realizing it sooner. “You can’t be serious…”

He walked back over and sat down across from her, “Kayla Silverfox ran away from Hydra in nineteen seventeen…and she went back to them in nineteen twenty-three. She put Case and I in the closet and told us she’d be back to get us soon.” He sighed, “Imagine my surprise when I saw her in the videos you uploaded onto the internet.”

“God, Ryder I’m…” Natasha trailed off. What was there to say?

“Yeah…look, following Bucky’s orders was not easy…not a day goes by when I don’t wish I’d just said fuck it and stepped in to defend him.”

“They would’ve taken you too.”

Ryder sighed, and looked down at the floor.

“I doubt it would’ve fixed anything,” Natasha told him. “I know he was your friend, but what happened to him was _not_ your fault.”

“Easy to say when it’s not you that let him get taken and it wasn’t your mother that tortured and brainwashed him for seventy years.”

“Neither of which were you,” Natasha pointed out. When he opened his mouth, she cut him off, “He told you to let him go. That’s different.”

“I should’ve protected him.”

“He was trying to protect _you_.”

“I didn’t need it…it wasn’t worth his life.”

“He certainly thought it was.”

“That was the fever talking.”

“I highly doubt that.”

Ryder sighed, and scrubbed a hand over his face as he said, “My own _mother_…”

“Did you ever see her there?”

“Not that I can recall. All I remember is working till I was too exhausted to function and being grateful for the hour or two of shut eye I could get propped up against the bars of the cage. Then having the mini-heart attack anytime Bucky coughed in his sleep.”

He seemed to be calming down at this point, and Natasha reached a hesitant hand out and touched his forearm. He tensed under her touch but did not pull away, so she felt that was progress.

“That could’ve easily been me.”

Natasha frowned, “Huh?”

Ryder shook his head, “I mean…I guess sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if she stuck around. Would I still be me? Or would I have been there at Azzano with her?” He chewed on his lip, “I mean, mutants with my kind of power don’t always see humans as their equals. But after everything she’s done, it makes me wonder. She’s the only tactile hypnotist I know of to this day…what if she tried to push me in the opposite direction?”

“Do you honestly believe that?”

Ryder’s shoulders slumped, “I don’t know what I believe anymore.”

“Is that why you stopped speaking to Logan?”

“Among other things yes,” Ryder admitted. “He had twenty years before the ice, and the three years after. And he didn’t say anything until last May when we confronted him about it.” He sighed and continued to chew on his lip before adding, “I grew up without my _mother_ Natasha. Case and I both thought she was dead…and then to find out about what she did to Bucky…” He looked at her and his eyes were wet, “I don’t know how…I don’t know…”

“Have you talked to Sam at all?”

Ryder shook his head, “Case and Steve are—”

“Sam would listen to you too, and keep an objective head,” Natasha pointed out. “Or we can look and find someone outside if that would make you feel more comfortable. But I do think you need to talk to someone.”

Ryder sighed, “I’m not sure I’m ready.”

“Ryder—”

“I know I just…it took a lot for me to tell you.”

“I get it…but you were in full-on rage mode. You would’ve done Hulk proud with that,” Natasha pointed out. “Just…think about it, okay?”

Ryder nodded, eyes again going to the floor.

“Speaking of lies though…there is one other thing I came across in the files you had.”

Ryder looked up at her, “What thing is that?”

“Who the hell is Daken?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few author’s notes here:  
1) Not too sure if Daken will ever make an official appearance – I’ve been debating on adding him in, even like this, but if you all feel that it’s not a good route to take the story he can easily be removed - I'd appreciate any feedback you have.  
2) This chapter may kind of seem out of left field, but I wanted to move the story along, and I wanted to develop something more between Ryder and Natasha in terms of their relationship – and the character himself. Ryder wants to seem calm and collected on the outside, but the whole thing still eats at him regardless  
3) Again, although I am thinking of investing in the software that helps you learn a new language, the only two I speak or English and Bad English (thank you Korben Dallas) so the translations stand as thus:  
a. Derzhis' ot menya podal'she, Natasha – Stay the fuck away from me, Natasha  
b. Laisse-moi seul – Just leave me alone


	13. Call Me, Beep Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And without further ado, we have reached Chapter Thirteen, and the continuing adventures of Case and Bucky.   
I still do not own anything Kim Possible related, or anything related to Steven Universe. The songs borrowed in this chapter are strictly credited to those that created them – the only rights to ‘em I have is purchased copies of the songs.   
Still working on getting back into the swing of things updating wise, and while I can’t guarantee when the next update will be, I promise I’ll be working as hard as I can to get it completed in a timely manner.   
As always, constructive criticism is always appreciated, and I hope you all enjoy.

* * *

**May 2015 – Washington, DC**

“Alright, Howlett, explain this to me one more time.” 

Case pinched her nose, watching as Tony stood at the kitchen counter in her apartment setting up one of his latest creations designed to test for listening devices.

With a loud sigh she said, “I think my place is bugged.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because any time I try to carve out a few moments of peace and quiet for myself someone’s blowing up my phone to do something.”

As March had made its way into April, it had brought plenty of lovely spring days, green grass, and blooming flowers all across both the Manhattan and DC areas, but the one thing it hadn’t brought was more time for Case and Bucky to meet.

And in the few times when Case finally had a weekend where she could sneak away for a few days and Bucky was free from whatever he did while he was away, they were rudely interrupted by phone calls from the rest of the Avengers.

Steve always wanted her to go jogging with him and Sam, which was fine except they always went early in the morning. Despite Case wanting to keep up appearances and routines during Bucky’s visits she _also_ wanted to _sleep in_ on her days off – getting a good night’s sleep had a tendency to evade her, so when it happened, she wanted to enjoy it. 

Natasha always called with a new dance class – those were mostly for the two of them to stand at the back and watch how _bad_ the instructor was at giving directions until they were kicked out of the class for laughing too hard at their own jokes.

“What, is the vibrating egg getting dusty in your sock drawer?” Tony’s question interrupted her train of thought.

Without missing a beat, Case answered, “In my nightstand, actually.”

Tony dropped the tool he had been using while setting up the device, which landed on the counter with a loud _thunk._ He turned to face her; eyebrows raised – clearly that had not been the answer he was expecting.

Case simply blinked at him, “What?”

“I…” Tony gaped like a fish for a moment, then cleared his throat, “I’m surprised you could say that without blushing.”

“Girl’s got needs Tony.”

The fact she had traded it in for Bucky’s hands and mouth was something Tony did not need to know.

“So, what exactly brought this on?” Tony then asked, his tone showing he was still trying to regain his composure, “I mean, we…um…_all_ call you at odd hours…”

As April had moved into May, things with Pepper had taken a turn for the rocky, and Tony Stark running on no sleep and an overabundance of coffee meant Case was staying awake late into the night as he rambled on and on about nothing and everything over the phone – lately the topic the modifications for her Ninja, with the occasional overlap into ideas he had for Steve’s Harley, followed by the occasional sob fest about Pepper and their relationship.

Usually those nights were spent with Bucky sitting across from her at the kitchen bar counter, cleaning his pistols for something to do as Case contributed when there was a lull in the conversation.

“And I’ll gladly take one of your calls, Tony, anytime, anyplace,” Case reminded him. “But between Steve and Sam going running in the morning and Natasha trying to get me into dance classes…and Ryder…” She ended with a groan. That had been frustrating as all get out.

“So…what happened?”

Case gave a sigh and closed her eyes, remembering the moment quite well. She had called Ryder the previous day, and had been ignored each time, which had angered her even further when he rudely interrupted her morning.

* * *

**Three Days Ago**

Case awoke slowly that morning. She was in her bed, in the apartment in DC, and early morning sunlight was streaming in from behind the curtain across the room, but something was…_different, _and her sleep-fogged mind couldn’t figure out what it was.

Shrugging off the feeling she moved to get up but found she was pinned to the bed by something with an iron grip around her waist. “Huh?”

A sleepy whine echoed in her ear and the grip around her waist tightened. “Stay.”

_Oh,_ Case gave a tired smile and a quiet chuckle. The offending item – which was rather cold, to tell the truth – was Bucky’s metal left arm. She rolled onto her back and quietly said, “Mornin’ Buck.”

His hair was mussed, and he slowly blinked as he lifted his head up, “‘S too early…sleep more.”

“You stayed the night in here.”

Bucky let out a loud yawn, “Huh?”

“In my bed…you slept in here with me,” Case told him.

“Tha’s nice…” Bucky’s head flopped back onto the pillow.

Case looked over at the clock, “It’s after nine…probably should get outta bed.”

“Nope,” Bucky shook his head into the pillow, and pulled her flat against his chest. “Stayin’ here all day with you.”

“I hope you had more planned than just sleep,” she mumbled into his shirt.

Bucky’s response was another loud yawn.

“You know…I _could_ make it worth your while to stay awake,” Case added with a smile as she adjusted so she could wrap one of her legs around his. 

Bucky cracked an eye open, “Keep talkin’.”

Case wound her arms around his waist, leg tightening around him as she did her best to grind her hips into his.

Bucky gave a groan and tightened his grip on her. “No plans for the day?”

“Nope.”

“Don’t sense any disturbances in the Force?”

“No!” Case snapped, then the question hit her, and she suddenly frowned up at him, “Wait a minute—”

“I don’t live under a _rock _Cassidy.”

“But still—”

“It’s not like I cease to exist when I step outside your door,” Bucky reminded her. “But the question still stands.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Case admitted. “But no, there’s no disturbances in the Force this morning. Whatever it was seems to have settled.”

“And you’re not supposed to go running with Steve?”

“He’s on a mission with Tony. Sam and Rhodey are with them to make sure they don’t kill each other.”

“Ryder?”

“He and Nat are still in Manhattan, Barton’s on shore leave, and Pepper’s in meetings all week,” Case said, her arms drifting up his back, gripping the hard muscle of his shoulders as she pulled him closer for a kiss, “I’m all yours.”

Bucky grinned, and suddenly Case was pushed flat on her back as he devoured her mouth. He broke away for air, “Wait, what about those other two—”

“Kitty and Marie are at the school,” Case cut him off. “And they know not to drop by unannounced…_anymore_.”

“And you’re sure they wouldn’t—”

“They didn’t see you; it was just me, and I was sitting on my dining room table minding my own business,” Case told him. “The six-foot-tall assassin that had me pinned while giving my stomach beard burn was nothing but a weird hallucination.”

Bucky cocked an eyebrow, “‘Beard burn’?”

Case rolled her eyes, “Apparently that’s the technical term, according to Marie. What would you call it?”

“Improv.”

Case blinked, “Improv?”

“Yeah…you screamed at me ‘no raspberries’, so I had to do _something._”

Case felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment, “James—”

With a wicked grin Bucky cut her off with a kiss, shoving his tongue into her mouth so far, he could count her molars, causing Case’s brain to short-circuit.

“Erm…” She eloquently stated when he came up for air. She blinked a few times, “What were we talking about?”

“Nothing important,” Bucky murmured, giving her one more kiss on the mouth before moving down to her neck.

Case tilted her head to the side to give him better access, and he kissed and sucked a path down to her left shoulder, where he decided to sink his teeth in – and grinned into her skin as Case gave a loud gasp and arched her back at the feeling, _“Merde!”_

“Something wrong baby?” Bucky asked in a smug tone.

_“Tu es un connard.”_

“Maybe but I’m the only man on earth that knows how to do _that_.”

_“Oh oui, parce que tu es le seul qui sait mordre—”_ Case ended with a loud whine as Bucky bit into her right shoulder this time, eyes rolling back and toes curling at the sensation.

Bucky smirked as he kissed and licked a path back up to her chin, kissing up to her ear before dragging his teeth along the lobe, “I’m the only man on earth that knows _all_ your weak spots.”

_Smug bastard, _Case thought, before she grabbed at the hem of his shirt and growled out, _“Plus.”_

Bucky hesitated for a moment, then sat up and pulled his shirt off, watching as Case yanked her t-shirt off and threw it across the room, before grabbing his and throwing it away as well. “Eager, are we?”

_“Plus besoin de parler, sergent.”_

“Yes ma’am,” Bucky chuckled before going back to her neck.

Case closed her eyes, giving a contented sigh and surrendering to Bucky’s ministrations as he made his way back down her neck heading for her chest.

** _Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me  
When you wanna page me it's OK  
I just can't wait until I hear my cell phone ring  
Doesn't matter if it's day or night  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Whenever you need me, whenever you need me baby_ **

As the ringtone filled the air, Bucky’s loud yell of frustration was muffled due to the fact he had his face buried between Case’s breasts. His head shot up throwing a death glare at her ringing cell phone, and to add insult to injury the picture on the screen was of Ryder flipping off the camera. _“Ty, dolzhno byt', chertovski shutish'!”_

** _Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me  
When you wanna page me it's OK  
I just can't wait until I hear my cell phone ring  
Doesn't matter if it's day or night  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Whenever you need me baby  
Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me _ **

Case was not exactly thrilled about the situation either – she would much rather Bucky continue what he had started, but if Case did not answer then Ryder was likely to show up on her doorstep to see why.

_Fucking hypocrite can’t answer a damn phone call but he’d expect me to answer, _Case grumbled to herself as Bucky got to his feet and disappeared into the living room, a stream of Russian obscenities coming out of his mouth that would make even Natasha blush.

Case waited until his voice disappeared before she grabbed her phone from her nightstand and slid her thumb across the screen, “This had better be good Ryder.”

_“Jesus Cassidy, what the hell?” _Ryder asked from the other end of the line. _“You get up on the wrong side of the bed or something?”_

“Sure, we’ll go with that,” She ground out.

_“Look, I’m sorry I ignored your calls yesterday, but…” _Her brother sounded hesitant, almost fearful, and Case felt slightly guilty at the tone…_slightly._ _“Why did you call me?”_

“There was a great disturbance in the Force,” Case rolled her eyes as she threw her legs over the side of the bed to get to her feet.

Ryder gave a snort, _“Interesting metaphor.”_

Case’s mouth quirked up in a small smile, “Yeah, I guess so.” She walked around her bed and grabbed her shirt, putting the phone on speaker as she tossed it onto the bed, pulling the garment over her head as she asked, “But seriously though, is there anything you’d like to talk about?”

_“Erm…Natasha actually talked me down,” _Ryder admitted.

Case cocked an eyebrow, “Oh?”

_“Don’t read too much into it,” _Ryder cut in quickly. _“I just…”_

“God Ryder why won’t you ask her out?” Case groaned, walking out to the living room where Bucky was slumped with his arms folded on the kitchen counter. “I mean it’s been _how_ long?”

_“What part of I’m not ready to start dating yet is not getting through anyone’s head?”_ Ryder snapped. _“If I was ready to take that step, I would’ve done it already!”_

“You’re seriously not ready to date?” Case asked with a cocked eyebrow.

_“Are _you_?”_

Case frowned and looked at Bucky, “Look, I’m not dating anyone else without a thorough background check first.”

Bucky turned around and sent her a questioning look.

_“Hey, how was Natasha supposed to know he was Malcolm’s grandson?”_

Case grit her teeth and turned away as Bucky’s eyes went wide. “Hence the background check, you know, to make sure that I’m not dating the spawn of any of my exes.”

_“With my track record I could throw a stone in Brooklyn and hit someone related to one of my exes,” _Ryder grumbled.

“Not my fault you didn’t learn to keep it in your pants until the war,” Case chuckled.

_“Bitch!”_

Case’s eyebrows went up, “Man-whore!”

_“Prude!”_

Bucky gave a snort of laughter before slapping both hands over his mouth to muffle the sound.

Before Case could give a proper response, Jarvis’ voice came over the line, pleasantly announcing the arrival of ‘Agent Romanoff’. “I guess we’ll end it here…go tend to your girlfriend.”

_“Yeah, yeah, and go tend to your…oh, wait, you’re still single.”_

“Sorry that I go for quality over quantity,” Case rolled her eyes before ending the call. She looked over at Bucky, and waved a hand at him, “Go ahead.”

Bucky pulled his hands away from his mouth, lip twitching as he asked, “So…this ‘disastrous’ blind date you mentioned that made you swear off it completely…was with…what was his name?”

Case sighed, “Grayson Callahan.”

“Okay…so this Callahan guy…is actually Morrison’s _grandson_?”

Case’s cheeks turned red, “Uh…yeah…”

“So let me get this straight…” Bucky still looked like he was struggling to keep a straight face, “Out of all the single men in New York and DC that Natalia _could have_ set you up with…she manages to set you up with the grandson of a guy you dated back in nineteen thirty-five?”

“Yeah, that’s the gist of it.”

Bucky gave a nod, then burst out laughing. He had to grab a hold of the counter to keep from falling off the stool.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Case rolled her eyes as he continued to roar with laughter.

A few moments later Bucky wheezed and wiped a tear from his eye, “I’m sorry that…I mean what are the odds? I’m fairly sure Ryder wasn’t too far off the mark but…_Morrison?_”

“Glad you find it funny…” Case rolled her eyes. She headed across the room toward the kitchen, “Just one more thing that makes Case Howlett’s love life a long running joke to people.”

“Oh, come on, Cassidy, I didn’t mean it like that,” Bucky frowned at her. “What did she say when you told her about it?”

Case put on a surprised tone as she prepped her coffee maker, keeping her back to him as she quoted, “‘You dated someone _other_ than Barnes?’”

Bucky’s eyebrows rose, “Why was that surprising?”

Case gave a snort as she closed the lid and pressed the button to start the coffee, and she turned to face him as she said, “Because apparently I am the perpetual poster child for the image of chastity.”

“With your sailor mouth?”

Case shrugged, “Clearly that doesn’t count. And half the time nobody believes me anyway. I mean hell, Tony thinks I made up the story about you breaking the refrigerator door.”

“Wait, you told—”

“He asked about the handle, and I just kinda threw it at him without thinking,” Case explained. “But as per the usual they just thought it was sarcasm.”

“Even Steve?”

“He just said if I wasn’t willing to say what happened then Tony should keep his big nose out of it,” Case admitted, looking down at the floor. “I think that was more of a defense mechanism, since he really wants to find you.”

The stool creaked as Bucky shifted in his seat, “Cassidy—”

“Kitty on the other hand was shocked I was familiar with anything involving _kitchen_ sex,” Case added as she then stood straighter to reach into the overhead cabinet. “Accepted the concept easier than when I talked to Pepper and Natasha. _They _were shocked I even knew what a blow job was.”

“What did they think _we_ were doing all that time?”

“Apparently nothing other than a peck on the cheek. And usually Steve’s in the same boat.”

Bucky made a face as he rubbed at the back of his neck, “I uh…I wouldn’t say that anymore.”

Case paused as she reached to grab two mugs from the cabinet, “Do I even want to know?”

“Well…I mean…I might not be ready to talk to him, but I still keep tabs on the punk,” Bucky explained sheepishly. “But ah…did you know he’s got a girlfriend?”

“Yeah, Sharon Carter,” Case nodded, turning back to face him. “She used to be one of SHIELD’s good guys, and she’s Peggy’s niece.”

Bucky frowned, “Peggy’s _niece?_”

“Yeah, we’ve decided to overlook that fact,” Case told him. “Bit of a workaholic, but she’s good for him, doesn’t take any of his bullshit.”

“And has the endurance to keep up with a super soldier,” Bucky said thoughtfully. As Case folded her arms and shot him a look demanding an explanation, he threw his arms up in defense and added, “I stopped by at a bad time…and it was like a train wreck. I didn’t wanna watch but I couldn’t look away!”

Case opened her mouth to respond when a buzzing noise filled the air.

Bucky’s cell phone – a simple flip phone – was sitting on the counter, set to vibrate. It buzzed and bounced in a small circle on the counter as it rang, and he quickly grabbed it in his hand. “I uh…I better go take this…”

He disappeared down the hall before Case had a chance to ask him about it.

* * *

“Howlett!”

Case blinked, “Huh?”

“You disappeared for a few moments there,” Tony explained. “Anyway, scans are done, your place is free and clear.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely, ran the scan three times, plus it’s _me,_” Tony pointed out. “There are absolutely no more bugs in your home.”

“Good…I think.”

“So, I guess we just have to chalk it up to bad luck.”

“Yeah, I guess…”

That was when a third voice filled the air, coming from Case’s cell phone that was laying on the dining room table.

**_Go ahead and try to hit me if you're able._  
Can't you see that my relationship is stable?  
I can see you hate the way we intermingle.  
But I think you're just mad 'cause you're single.**

Case was across the room like a shot and had her phone in hand, sliding her thumb across the screen to ignore the call, cutting off the song before the next verse could be heard.

Tony cocked an eyebrow, “Who does that one belong to?”

Case shoved her phone into her back pocket, “Nobody important.”

“One of the guys you dated once then decided not to call again?”

“No.”

“How ‘bout that guy, what’s his name? Started with a G?”

“Grayson, no, it wasn’t him,” Case rolled her eyes.

“What about—?”

“Tony, please,” Case cut him off. “I don’t wanna talk about this right now.”

Tony stared at her for a moment, “Fine…rain check then.” He turned toward the device on the counter and began packing everything into a lockbox.

The song began again, and Case quickly pulled her phone out of her pocket and ignored the call again. She stared at her phone for a moment, twirling the device in her hand. She chewed on her lip, then hesitantly began, “Tony—”

Tony clipped the last lock into place, before turning to face her, “You know, Howlett, I’m actually starving. How ‘bout we get some lunch? Shawarma sound good?”

Case blinked, “Uh…yeah, I could eat…”

“Good, ‘cause I’ve been meaning to talk to you about some ideas I’ve got for your Ninja…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have an interesting seque into Chapter 28 of Flashbulb Memories.   
Now as per the usual, I don’t speak anything other than English. And I know Google Translate is not as accurate as I’d like it to be, but this is what they gave me and what the lines were supposed to be:  
Merde! -- Shit  
Tu es un connard -- You’re an asshole  
Oh oui, parce que tu es le seul qui sait mordre -- Oh yes, because you’re the only one that knows how to bite  
Plus -- More  
Plus besoin de parler, sergent -- No more talking, Sergeant  
Ty, dolzhno byt', chertovski shutish'! -- You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!


	14. More Problems Causing Filler in My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, welcome to Chapter Fourteen. Another small time-skip in this one, closer to where “Flashbulb Memories” came to an end, and maybe some foreshadowing here and there.   
Also, we introduce two new familiar faces into the story. I did my best with characterizations, I hope I did them justice, if not I will definitely work on them in the future.   
Constructive criticism is always appreciated, and I will get to work on Chapter Fifteen.   
Enjoy!

* * *

**June 19th, 2015**

_“Welcome ladies, Miss Case has requested your presence in her quarters,” _Jarvis’s voice greeted as Kitty Pryde and Marie D’Ancanto stepped into the lift.

“Thank you, Jarvis,” Marie said as they began to rise into the higher levels of the Avengers’ Tower.

“Wonder what Case needs,” Kitty mused.

“Ah told her, all she needs is a tube of lipstick and a great big smile,” Marie said as she folded her arms across her chest.

“Come on, this is Case we’re talking about.”

“Yes, yes, it is,” Marie nodded.

“So…you really think—”

_“Ladies, may I remind you that Sir does occasionally monitor the security feeds,” _Jarvis interrupted pleasantly. _“If there is something that Miss Case does not want to have announced to the general populace of the Tower, may I suggest speaking about it in a quieter location?”_

“Right, sorry about that,” Kitty frowned.

A few moments later the doors opened, and they stepped into the carpeted living room of Case’s apartment.

“Alright _sugah,_ what’s the big emergency?” Marie called out.

“Ow! _Putain de Enfer!_ One minute!” Case called from down the hall.

The two mutants exchanged surprised looks before their friend came rushing down the hall – barefooted in ripped blue jeans, a black t-shirt and half of her hair wavy the other half ramrod straight, the side of her index finger jammed in her mouth.

“Hey, I thought this party was cocktail attire!” Kitty frowned, tugging at the quarter-sleeves of her black sheath dress.

“It is…I’m just…I’m running behind,” Case sighed as she pulled her hand away from her mouth, shaking it as she cringed, “And I fuckin’ burned myself on the straightening iron…”

“_Sugah, _you alright?” Marie frowned.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’ve been bouncing on your feet since you got in here, and while you’re known to fall behind on occasion usually not to this extent,” Marie said with a cocked eyebrow.

Case’s shoulders slumped, “It’s just…I didn’t know what to pack, then I made a mess of everything while trying to get it together, then I saw the time and now I’m scrambling to get ready for my own birthday party!”

“Kitty?”

“On it,” Kitty disappeared down the hallway toward Case’s bedroom.

“C’mon, _sugah,_ so you don’t burn yourself again,” Marie led Case toward the bathroom where she had been getting ready. “Sit,” She added, pointing to the closed toilet seat.

Case took a deep breath and sat down, wringing her hands as Marie grabbed a comb and started separating sections of Case’s hair. “You don’t have to do this.”

“_Sugah,_ if you do this yourself, you’re gonna burn off half your hair.”

“Better than hacking it off with a knife.”

“Ah don’t know about that…” Marie shook her head, “What’s got you so riled up?”

“So…you know about…” Case trailed off, “Well, you know—”

“He-who-must-not-be-named, got it,” Marie gave a nod as she grabbed the straightening iron. She ran it down a section of Case’s hair, smoothing out the waves, “And what’s he done that’s got you like this?”

“Well, we’ve been having problems seeing each other,” Case explained. “And when we do, there’s usually some interruption and we can’t actually _do_ anything.”

“Well maybe if you told someone—”

“He’s not ready for them to know,” Case cut her off.

Marie frowned thoughtfully, “Have you even asked him?”

Case sighed, “Not recently no.”

“Maybe you should.”

“I don’t wanna push him into something he doesn’t want to do,” Case protested. “He’s had enough of the Howlett women doing that over the last— _Aie! Que la l'enfer?_”

Marie loosened her grip on the hair she had tugged, “What have we told you?”

“I am not my mother,” Case grumbled, looking down at her feet.

“And?”

“Her choices were her own,” Case recited as she looked up at Marie. “But—”

“No buts, Case,” Marie said, continuing her work. “You and your mama are two separate women. What she did with Hydra is no reflection on you.”

Case sighed and looked back down at the floor, “Still feels like it.”

“Have you talked to Sam about any of this?”

“No.”

“No?” Marie repeated, “_Sugah _you’ve spent all this time reliving your relationship with Bucky, not to mention going into the ice, the Battle of Manhattan, _and_ when the Winter Soldier went after Fury, and you _still_ haven’t told him about your mother issues?”

“He knows she was Hydra…”

“Tip of the iceberg,” Marie sighed. “Anyway, let’s get back to your lean mean Russian machine.”

“You know, Bucky’s really not Russian,” Case pointed out. “He was born in Indiana then moved to Brooklyn—”

“Case.”

Case sighed, “So…you know he invited me away for the weekend.”

“Yes, yes, the sexy weekend getaway.”

“Don’t say it like that…” Case flinched with a blush on her cheeks.

“What? It’s what you both were working toward, right?”

“I know it’s just…I mean the _other_ stuff we did plenty of…so I was confident there. But the other part…”

Marie waited, “The _other_ part?”

“I dunno…it’s kinda like virginity the sequel.”

“I see you’ve been watching _How I met Your Mother _again,” Marie observed.

“I’m just saying…and by the way, have you noticed that the chick that plays Robin looks a lot like Maria Hill?”

“Hmm…never really noticed.”

“Pay attention…the resemblance is uncanny. Also—”

“_Cassidy_.”

Case trailed off and gave a sigh. She finally admitted, “Look…I’ve only been with him, and it was just the one time. So…what if I’m bad at it?”

“What makes you think you’d be bad at it?”

Case rolled her eyes, “Because the only thing I’ve actually done in the sexual arena _is_ lose my virginity.”

“Well, how did Bucky feel about it before?”

“I don’t know.”

“Really? He didn’t say anything?”

“Not about my sexual prowess no,” Case explained. “When we were done…and I came back into my head…I just…I finally asked him what we were. And it just kinda…unraveled from there.”

“Did he seem unsatisfied?”

“I don’t think so…”

“Well there you go,” Marie pointed out. She finished with the last section of hair, and added, “So tell me a little more about this place.”

“Apparently, he’s been in touch with his sister, Becca, and she owns a little cabin in the woods upstate…and Bucky currently has the keys for the place.”

“Hence the weekend getaway,” Marie stated. She rummaged in the small cosmetic bag that Case had dropped on the counter, “Now close your eyes.”

Case frowned up at her, “Why?”

“Makeup.”

“Marie, I’m already wearing some mascara, I don’t need—”

“Just forget it Case, it’s not optional,” Kitty said, phasing through the wall. “We’re going to a party…you have to look your best.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Sweetie,” Marie frowned at her, “And didn’t you learn your lesson the first time?”

Kitty blinked, “How was I supposed to know she had a man in there with her?”

“Ah said to _knock._”

“She didn’t hear the phone calls.”

“Anyway…come on, Case close your eyes,” Marie repeated, raising a small plastic container, “Eyeshadow, let’s go.”

Case sighed and closed her eyes, allowing Marie to apply the bronze-colored shadow to her eyelids, “There a reason you phased in here, Kitty?”

“Yeah, I had a question,” Kitty gave a nod. “If you’re going for a sexy weekend away, why are you taking your Steven Universe t-shirt?” When Case opened her eyes, she could see the red shirt with the yellow star on it clutched in Kitty’s hand.

Case’s cheeks turned red, “Because there’s no guarantee that the sex will be had, Kitty! And put that in the bag where it belongs!”

Kitty sighed and disappeared through the wall. She came back with the black duffel bag, “So where do you want it?”

“On the couch, so I can grab and go,” Case told her. Kitty disappeared through the wall again, and Case gave a sigh.

“Eyes closed again, eyeliner next,” Marie said, pulling a dark brown pencil out of the bag next. As Case’s eyes closed, she added, “So what’s the real reason you wanted us up here?”

“What do you mean?”

Marie made quick work of the liner and pulled back, “You asked us up here for a reason…somehow I doubt the pep talk was the reason.”

Case sighed as she got to her feet, closing the door slightly. She pulled the blue dress from the hanger, “I need a distraction.”

“A distraction?”

“Yeah,” Case nodded.

Marie stepped outside of the bathroom as Case changed, “You haven’t told your friends you’re disappearing for the weekend?”

“Nope,” Case said. “Gonna lead to a lot of awkward questions I can’t answer right now.”

Marie simply hummed at that, folding her arms.

“What?”

“What do you mean what?”

“When people hum like that it means something,” Case said, stepping out of the room.

Marie’s brows went up, “Hold on, where’s your phone?”

“In my bedroom, why?”

“I got it!” Kitty yelled out, racing toward the bedroom.

“While you’re in there grab my shoes, would ya?” Case called to her.

Kitty was back in moments, handing Case a pair of dark blue sling back heels that matched her dress and handed Marie the phone. “Strike a pose, _sugah._”

“Huh?” Case blinked in confusion.

“You heard me.”

Kitty sighed, “Here…just stand like that…” She came up behind Case, “Arms loose at your sides, legs together and…” She flipped some of the straightened hair over Case’s shoulders, “Jeez Case I never realized how long your hair is…middle of your back—”

“Yikes, Kitty, don’t do that!” Case yelped and bent backward slightly as Kitty dug a finger into her back to emphasize where her hair ended.

“Thanks Kitty, you ruined the shot,” Marie rolled her eyes.

Case rubbed at the spot on her back as she scowled at Kitty, “Go stand over there!”

Kitty smirked, “It’s amazing, the big tough superhero—”

“Shut it,” Case snapped. Her cheeks were still tinged pink as she readjusted her hair and crossed her arms at her waist, “Good?”

Marie snapped the picture, smiling slightly as she typed out a message, “Perfect.”

* * *

Bucky was seated in diner about a mile outside of Manhattan, waiting for Case. He was reading a local newspaper, checking baseball scores, and reading the latest ads for rental properties.

His phone vibrated on the table, and he checked it with a frown. Case said she would be at the party for a few hours at least, it did not really make much sense why she was reaching out now.

Unless she had enjoyed a few of Thor’s Asgardian drinks…when celebrating Tony Stark’s birthday a few weeks prior Bucky had received quite a few drunken texts and voicemails from her…and one exhausted apology the following afternoon, after she’d slept the better part of the day away due to a hangover.

He flipped open his phone, eyebrows going up when he read the message.

**I hope you can receive pictures. Your girl looks as pretty as a peach – Rogue**

_Rogue?_ Bucky frowned, trying to remember. _Do I know anyone named Rogue?_

Then it dawned on him – Case’s friend Marie, tall brunette with white streaks in her hair. He did not know how comfortable he was with her and their friend Kitty knowing he was seeing Case, but since that cat was already out of the bag there was not much he could do about it.

Plus, who were they going to tell? Logan? What harm could that really do?

The phone vibrated again, cutting off that line of thought before it took Bucky down a path of dark memories filled with blood. He flipped the phone open again, and his eyes widened.

Her hair was straightened, makeup made her eyes sparkle, and her mouth was curved up in a small crooked smile. Case was in a one-shoulder dress made of a glittery dark blue material that clung to her curves.

To say that Case Howlett cleaned up good was an understatement, and once again Bucky wondered what he had ever done in life to deserve her.

A small part of him wished he could be there to see it in person…although it was stamped out quickly by the idea of being in a room filled with people and Bucky had to take a deep breath from going into a panic.

He closed his phone and lifted the newspaper again, the pages rustling slightly as his hands trembled.

* * *

“Alright, bub, let’s get you into bed,” Case laughed a few hours later. She had her arm around Ryder’s waist and one of his arms slung over her shoulders.

“No, no, I…I’m good,” Ryder slurred, trying to escape, “I…Natasha—”

“Will still be there when you wake up,” Steve slipped underneath Ryder’s free arm, helping Case get him to the elevator.

“But…tonight was gonna be the night!” The mutant whined.

“The night you overdid things and threw up on her shoes?”

“I was trying to get the courage to ask her out,” Ryder moaned. “What the hell did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything…Natasha knows you do this,” Case pointed out. “A few times a year Thor breaks out the Asgardian booze and we all have a pretty good time.”

“Like last year with the mechanical bull?” Steve asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“Yeah…I wish I could remember it,” Case frowned. “Or why I woke up handcuffed to Tony…”

“That was a good night…especially with the glitter cannon!” Ryder supplied, then gave a grunt as his feet slipped out from underneath him.

“Yeah…did we ever figure that one out?” Steve asked, giving a grunt himself as he helped Ryder get his feet back under him.

“Nope…nor why you two were handcuffed together,” Case pointed out.

“I lost a bet!” Ryder announced. “Had to be handcuffed to the birthday boy…then they shot us with glitter!”

Tony’s bright idea for Steve’s last birthday was to get the good Captain to let loose…so first order of business had been a few shots of Thor’s Asgardian drinks, with Tony supplying the _mere_ _mortals_ with some extraordinarily strong stuff as well.

Although nobody could figure out what happened after that. As far as the three of them remembered, most of the night passed by in a blur, and the first clear memory any of them had was waking up the next morning on the roof of Stark’s compound in Malibu – no mean feat considering they’d started out in Manhattan.

Case had been handcuffed to Stark, missing one of her shoes and wearing a sash that said FIRST PLACE MECHANICAL BULL RIDING CONTEST with a tattoo on her left shoulder that was _supposed_ to be permanent but with her healing factor it got washed away with some fancy soap and a loofah.

Thankfully, nobody had found out about said tattoo – getting drunk and not remembering how you got a tattoo was one thing. Waking up with a red star tattooed on your left shoulder…that was some symbolism she absolutely did _not_ want to address. 

Although Ryder still laughed himself to tears, not from how they ended up on the roof but because Stark had been wearing a sash that proclaimed him the runner up in the contest.

Ryder’s drunken rambling though was the first possible explanation for him and Steve – they were handcuffed together on the roof as well, covered in red white and blue glitter and wearing paper crowns, with Steve’s crown announcing that he was the birthday boy. 

The hangover became twice as bad when Pepper appeared on the roof with a tablet showing Bruce’s incredibly angry face – his eyes kept flashing from brown to green as Thor tried to help him keep his temper in check.

In the background were a still very drunk Natasha and Clint, both of whom them proceeded to yell out ‘Happy Birthday Steve’ before falling out of the shot.

“That was a good night,” Ryder added with a dopey smile on his face.

Case cocked an eyebrow at him, before looking up at Steve, “You think that’s what happened?”

“I’m not even sure if he remembers what he ate for breakfast today,” Steve admitted.

“Toast!” Ryder announced.

“I stand corrected.”

The doors opened on Ryder’s floor, to which Case and Steve called out, “Thanks Jarvis!”

_“You’re most welcome.”_

They deposited Ryder on his sofa, where he promptly curled up with one of the throw pillows and fell asleep.

“Think he’s down for the night?”

“Let’s hope so,” Steve sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face.

Case checked her watch, frowning slightly at the time.

“Look…it’s your party,” Steve added. “Why don’t you go back downstairs? I can babysit the Casanova, make sure he doesn’t escape.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive…plus I think things were winding down anyway, I’ll stay up here.”

“Alright, Steve…have a good night,” Case smiled at him, and headed for the elevator.

“Oh, and Case?”

“Yeah?” She asked, turning to face him as the doors opened.

“Happy birthday.”

She gave him a small smile, as she stepped into the elevator, “Thanks.”

_“Returning to the party, Miss Case?” _Jarvis asked.

“For a little bit, yeah,” Case nodded. “Where are Kitty and Marie?”

_“Waiting for you by the bar.”_

“Perfect,” Case said quietly as the doors opened to the main floor.

Clusters of party guests still mingled, many calling out ‘happy birthday’ as she made her way through the room. She caught snippets of conversation, Rhodes telling more War Machine stories, Thor and Tony trying to top the other with Pepper’s and Jane’s achievements, the World War II veteran that Case saw a in various places around the city was involved in a card game with his buddies as he yelled out “Excelsior!”

She finally made it to the bar where her two friends were sitting, and asked, “You guys having a good time?”

“Surprisingly, yes,” Marie said, sipping a red martini. “Turns out the War Machine stories are actually pretty good.”

“Yep, Rhodey’s got a few gems in there,” Case agreed. “So, Ryder’s upstairs sleeping off his birthday drinks, and Steve’s playing babysitter.”

“Two down, that makes what…nine to go?” Kitty asked, sipping a red drink of her own.

“For what?”

All three mutants yelped as Natasha sprang up from behind the counter.

“Jesus woman! Do we need to put a bell around your neck?” Case demanded.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Natasha smirked with a cocked eyebrow. “By the way, what _did_ happen to your brother? He’s been my best customer tonight.”

“He’s been cut off.”

“Told him that three drinks ago, but he still kept coming back,” Natasha pointed out.

Kitty, who had been sipping her drink, set her glass on the counter as she eyed Natasha up and down in her tight black dress, “Well, can you blame him?”

Natasha’s eyebrows went up, “What do you mean?”

“Well, what idiot in their right mind would turn down drinks from a woman as gorgeous as you?” Kitty asked with a small smile as she picked up the martini glass again.

“Aaaand you’re cut off as well,” Marie added, taking the drink out of Kitty’s hand.

“Hey!” Kitty frowned.

“Do I have to remind you of Peter?”

“Hey I can look!”

Case leaned toward Natasha, “Didn’t expect Kitty to have a thing for Russians…”

Natasha gave her a small smirk, “Guess Howletts aren’t the only ones.”

Case’s jaw gaped for a few moments as Natasha walked out from behind the counter, gently swaying her hips as she did so. Finally, she yelled out, “He’s not _Russian!_”

“Say what you will but Ryder’s got good taste,” Kitty added, taking the glass back to finish off her drink.

Marie and Case exchanged looks, then shrugged in agreement.

“Anyway, that might be three down…” Marie added.

“Hey Howlett!” Clint came running up next, holding his phone in his hand. “Happy birthday…”

“Thanks man…what’s up?” Case asked, frowning at the nervous look he had.

“I have to take off…small emergency came up,” Clint told her, holding his phone up. “Sorry but I’m actually taking off for a few days.”

“Hey, no worries, I get it,” Case nodded. “Emergencies happen. Just be safe okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled at her and gave her a brief hug, “See you next week.”

“You too,” Case gave a nod as he walked away.

“Sister Howlett!” Thor’s voice boomed next, and he threw his arms around her in a strong hug, making the mutant grunt. “I hope you’ve enjoyed your day of revelry!”

“Yeah, it’s uh…” Case took a breath as Thor released her, “It’s been great…I think you just popped my back…”

“All in a days’ work,” Thor smiled. “But unfortunately, like Barton, I must also take my leave. My lady Jane has returned to the city—”

“Say no more my friend,” Case cut him off with a smile. “Go enjoy time with your lady. We’ll still be here when you get back.”

“Is _everyone_ going to leave this party to get laid?” Kitty asked in a quiet voice as Thor made his exit, now taking hold of Marie’s drink to finish that off too.

Case frowned at her, “Something wrong with her and Peter?”

Marie rolled her eyes, “Nah…Peter’s been on a long mission with the team and hasn’t been home in over a month.”

“Ah…so no lovin’ from the metal man.”

“Got it in one,” Marie nodded. Then she shifted, “You know…your Daddy was leadin’ the mission—”

“Good for him,” Case said shortly, turning away from her to look out at the crowd.

“He’s sorry he couldn’t be here—”

“You assume I’d want him here.”

Marie frowned, “You don’t mean that…”

Case’s jaw clenched.

“Case…he…he wasn’t trying to hurt you—”

“This isn’t about me.”

“But he didn’t know the truth—”

“Marie,” Case cut her off. “I’ve heard it from him. I’ve heard it from Ryder…and Uncle Victor second hand from Ryder. And yet I still get to that block in my head that is constantly asking, ‘how did he not?’”

“Same could be said for you,” Kitty said, putting the empty glass on the counter as she got to her feet.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Case snapped.

Kitty wobbled slightly in her heels and grasped the counter as she said, “Look…we’re celebrating your birthday…we can keep going with this, or we can drop this now and you enjoy the rest of the time. Personally…I’m done and...I’m not sure if I could walk a straight line.”

Case checked her watch, “It’s about time I got going anyway.”

“Good,” Kitty said, then turned on her heel and stumbled.

“Come on, Sweetie, the elevator’s this way,” Marie said, taking hold of Kitty’s arm and leading her toward the elevator. “Is it alright if we crash in your place tonight?”

“Go ahead, it’s gonna be empty otherwise,” Case said softly. She followed slowly behind them, surveying the crowd. Rhodey and Sam were off at one of the pool tables, Natasha was chatting with Bruce, and Tony was nowhere to be found. She followed her friends into the elevator, heading up to her floor of the Tower.

“So maybe you didn’t need the distraction after all,” Marie pointed out as the elevator doors shut.

“Maybe…but that seemed a little too easy,” Case said thoughtfully.

Kitty looked toward her, “You’re really gonna wear that on your motorcycle?”

“I’m pretty sure if I tried, I’d split the dress in half,” Case admitted. “I’m gonna change before I go.”

“Pity.”

“Don’t worry, ah sent him a picture earlier,” Marie said as the doors opened.

“You _what?_” Case demanded as the three of them got off the elevator.

“What? You didn’t want him seeing you in the dress?”

“I…that’s not the point.”

“Go get changed,” Marie said, rolling her eyes.

Case shook her head, disappearing into her bedroom as Marie led Kitty into the guest room. She made quick work of changing, kicking off her heels and grabbing yesterday’s skinny blue jeans.

When Marie entered the room, she was already dressed in the black t-shirt and jeans, zipping up her boots and pulling her hair back in a ponytail to keep it out of her face.

“Are you still nervous?” Her friend asked, sitting on her bed.

Case mulled that over, then shook her head, “At the moment no. Just lookin’ to get outta here and on the road.”

As Case grabbed a leather jacket Marie added, “Ride safe.”

“Always do.”

“Keep in mind your passenger might not have the same healing ability you do,” Marie pointed out.

Case shrugged into the jacket, “We’ll be fine.”

“Good night Case.”

Case gave a nod then left the room, grabbing her duffel bag from the couch as she went into the elevator. “Garage please, Jarvis.”

_“Going for a late-night ride, Miss Case?”_

Case gave a chuckle, “Something like that.”

The trip to the garage level passed quietly, save for the gentle hum of the elevator. As the doors opened with a quite hiss, Jarvis said, _“Be safe.”_

“Always.”

The soles of her boots made little noise as she made her way to her bike, and Case made quick work of securing her bag.

“I thought you had something up your sleeve.”

Case straightened and whirled around, “H-hey Tony.”

The billionaire stood against the far wall, still in his suit from the party, arms folded across his chest. “Howlett.”

“You been here long?”

“Asked Jarvis to keep an eye on you,” Tony explained, pushing off from the wall to make his way toward her. “Especially after you declined any and all alcoholic beverages, including the ones that don’t affect you _and_ you kept disappearing with your girlfriends all night.”

Case sighed and folded her arms, “What do you want, Tony?”

He reached the bike, cocked an eyebrow on the bag attached and asked, “Going somewhere Howlett?”

“Out for a late-night ride.”

“Out for a late-night ride or out to _get_ a late-night ride?”

“Is everything a joke to you?” Case asked.

“Funny things are, but you know that already,” Tony reminded her. “I’m assuming you’re going out to meet that ‘Springfield Johnson’ guy…weird name for anyone.”

“Parents liked guns, what can I say?”

“It’s just funny, isn’t that the name of your favorite rifle?”

“Yeah, the nineteen-oh-three Springfield,” Case nodded. “Carried it all throughout the war.” She could not help the smirk that formed when she saw the gears continue to turn in her friend’s head. “Is there a problem?”

“You’re not gonna tell us his real name, are you?”

“Who’s real name?”

“Case, come on,” Tony sighed.

“Tony…I think I’m entitled to a life outside of the Avengers, at least for a little bit,” Case rolled her eyes. “I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

“But…that was _then—_”

“Doesn’t matter…I’ll be fine,” Case told him. “Trust me…you wouldn’t be acting like this with Natasha.”

“Natasha knows how to kill someone fifty different ways using just a ramen noodle,” Tony pointed out.

Case gave a chuckle as she straddled her bike, “That I can’t argue with. What’s with the interest in my dating life anyway?”

“I just find it weird that this guy exists, but he never calls you when you’re in the Tower,” Tony frowned. “We’ve never seen hide nor hair of him, it’s almost like he’s a ghost.”

Case started the bike and revved the engine, “Mama didn’t train a fool, Stark.”

Tony frowned, “It’s: ‘mama didn’t raise no fools’, Howlett.”

“Maybe yours didn’t,” Case told him, then kicked off and sped out of the garage before Tony could respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope I did Kitty and Marie justice – I’m not too familiar with the characters in terms of their personalities, but I did my best to research to get them as in character as I could.   
Also, just a few translations, at least according to Google Translate:  
Putain de Enfer – Fucking Hell  
Aie! Que la l'enfer – Ouch! What the hell?


	15. Ryder Howlett’s Bid for Sanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter 15!  
I want to apologize again for the long times between updates, and I will do my best to get chapter 16 up as soon as possible.  
Standard disclosures apply, anything you recognize I probably don't own it. I definitely don't own anything related to Wednesday 13, and certainly not "I Walked with a Zombie" - with the exception of a purchased copy of the song.  
That being said, I hope this update was worth the wait, enjoy!  
Constructive criticism is always appreciated

**Sunday Morning – Washington DC**

Ryder sighed as he sat at the table in the diner, sunglasses protecting his sensitive eyes from the glare coming in through the nearby window. He was seated in a booth, leaning up against the warm glass, and started to feel comfortable…his eyes slid shut and…

“Good morning, Howlett!”

_“Jesus Christ!”_ Ryder yelped as he nearly jumped out of his skin. He glared through his dark glasses at Sam, who had a smile on his face as he sat down.

“Not much of a morning person, are you?” Sam asked, smile still in place.

“Not really, no,” Ryder shook his head.

His waitress – now _their_ waitress – came by, tucking a few strands of bleach-blonde hair behind her ears as she flashed a blinding smile at Ryder. “Can I get you anything?”

“Just coffee for now,” Ryder said with a yawn.

“Coffee,” The woman nodded, then turned to Sam, “And what can I get for you, handsome?”

“The same,” Sam added, smiling politely back at her.

The smile dimmed slightly as she said, “Coffee it is then.”

Ryder cocked an eyebrow and sniffed the air, before asking, “So how long have you and Hill been seeing each other?”

Sam frowned, “What are you talking about?”

“The waitress was flirting with you,” Ryder pointed out.

“Yeah, but she flirted with you first.”

“But I want Natasha.”

“And yet you haven’t asked her out yet.”

“I was trying to at the party,” Ryder admitted. “Unfortunately, my idea for liquid courage got out of hand.”

“Yeah, maybe drinking till you puke isn’t the best idea,” Sam pointed out with a smirk.

Ryder frowned, “_Another _reason I asked is because I can smell her perfume. Very faintly, but it’s definitely there…which either means that you two are fooling around or we’re headed for a very awkward conversation.”

Sam’s smirk dropped as the waitress came back with their coffee, placing two empty mugs and the coffee carafe on the table before disappearing quickly. When she was gone, he asked, “How—?” he cut off when Ryder cocked his eyebrow at him, “Right, right…mutant nose…”

“Yeah.”

Sam sighed, then admitted, “Maybe six months or so…went on a few dates here and there since last fall.”

“Nice.”

“And I know you didn’t ask me here to discuss my dating life,” Sam pointed out. “Seems reminiscent of when Case asked me for help.”

Ryder sighed, “You’re not that far off.”

“Shit…what’s going on?” Sam asked, all humor now gone from his face.

Ryder sighed, and took off his glasses to rub his eyes before replacing them, “I ah…I’m taking Case’s advice.”

“Case asked you to talk to me?”

“Yeah…I kind of ended up in my bedroom closet last night,” Ryder admitted. He gave a yawn, “I curled up in there and fell asleep.”

“What is it with the two of you and closets?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know, really,” Ryder sighed, “It’s a comfort zone thing…we feel safe in there.”

“Hmm…”

“I know it’s stupid—”

“Hey, don’t look at it like that,” Sam frowned. “Unorthodox sure but doesn’t hurt anyone, right?”

“Yeah, but I just turned ninety-seven…I shouldn’t have to run and hide in a closet because life suddenly got a little too hard for me to deal with.”

“What triggered it?”

Ryder chewed on his lip, “That’s…a bit of a long story…”

* * *

**Saturday Morning – Manhattan, NY**

Ryder Howlett had just reached the grand old age of ninety-seven, had accelerated healing abilities that made him immune to almost all diseases and injuries along with the power to hypnotize living beings with his hands…and apparently had the ability to fall asleep on his feet.

He’d propped an arm up against the wall of the elevator, heading for the communal area of the Avengers’ Tower, hoping to find coffee after waking up with a glass of water and a bendy straw next to him on his coffee table.

While he was still on the sofa, he did a quick glance around the room and found Steve had been asleep still, curled up in a ball on the nearby loveseat, with no one else in sight.

After downing the water Ryder shuffled his way toward his linen closet. Steve usually slept one of two ways – either sprawled across the mattress if he was warm, or if he felt too cold he’d curl up in a ball, they assumed as his own way of conserving body heat, probably residual from when he was just skin and bones.

He grabbed a lightweight blanket and shuffled back, yawning as he threw the blanket over Steve before heading for the elevator – old habits die hard.

Which brought him to his current position – propped up against the wall of the elevator, snoring quietly as the doors opened with a quiet hiss.

_“Corporal Howlett?”_

Ryder gave a sleepy grunt, and yawned again before asking, _“Qu'est-ce que c'est, Jarv…?”_ he did not even finish the sentence before he nodded off again.

_“Corporal Howlett!”_

Ryder did not even wake up that time, just gave quiet snore.

That was where Tony Stark found him not five minutes later. The billionaire was coming up from his lab in the second elevator, after doing some late-night work on his newest Mark suits and was wearing blue jeans and a Black Sabbath t-shirt that were covered in grease – he’d washed the grease off his hands before heading upstairs, one requirement Pepper had demanded of him.

He walked into the room, noticing the elevator door open, and he found the elder Howlett twin leaning against the wall, snoring quietly and still in his dress shirt and slacks from the previous night.

“Hey, Howlett,” Tony said, shaking the mutant’s shoulder.

“Fuck…off.”

“Come on Howlett, it’s an elevator, you can’t sleep in here.”

_“Cinq minutes de plus…”_

Tony rolled his eyes, and then a smirk stretched across his face as he came up with a new idea. Without any warning he raised his hand and started jabbing his fingers into Ryder’s side.

And like when he would do it to Case, Ryder shot up, leaping backward away from his hand as he yelped, _“Je suis debout! Je suis debout!”_

“Welcome to the land of the living,” Tony said before turning toward the kitchen. “Coffee?”

“Yeah,” Ryder gave a nod and a loud yawn as he headed toward the counter. He took a seat at one of the barstools, folding his arms as he hid his eyes from the light.

“So Howlett…I’ve got a question for you.”

“Stark I’m exhausted,” Ryder said, his voice muffled by his shirt sleeves, “I can’t even remember my middle name right now.”

Tony rolled his eyes, and after prepping the coffee – he really needed to have Jarvis just start making it, he made a mental note to get that started – he turned back toward Ryder, “Isn’t your middle name James?”

Ryder looked up at him, “Oh…yeah…same name as my father.”

“I thought Wolverine’s name was Logan.”

“He goes by Logan…I forgot why…but his real name is James.”

“Interesting…” Tony said thoughtfully. “Although…speaking of the name James, now that you remember can I ask you that question?”

“I guess…” Ryder yawned, “Not sure how well I’ll be able to answer…”

“Is your sister sleeping with Barnes behind our backs?”

Ryder blinked at him once, twice, three times. He licked at his lips then abruptly got to his feet, “I’m going back to bed.”

“Who else would she have disappeared with?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Ryder rolled his eyes, grimacing when the motion caused him pain. He rubbed at his eyes as he reached the elevators, and once inside he asked, “Jarvis can you take me to Case’s floor?”

_“Yes, Corporal Howlett.”_

Ryder gave a loud yawn, mouth opening so wide his jaw cracked loudly. “God I _am_ getting old…”

_“I understand the age of ninety-seven does fall into that category.” _

Ryder glared up at the ceiling, mumbling, _“Ordinateur Smartass.”_

_“I am an artificial intelligence, not merely a simple _computer,_” _Jarvis responded, almost sounding offended by the insult.

Ryder rolled his eyes once more, ignoring the twinge as the doors hissed open. He stepped into the room and called out, “Case? You home?”

“Sorry _sugah,_” a familiar southern drawl called out, “She stepped out for the moment.”

“The moment?” Ryder asked, heading for the kitchen.

Marie was seated at Case’s kitchen counter, a plate stacked with a few pieces of toast in front of her, “Yeah, she’s currently not here.”

“But at the moment?”

“Yes, she should be back—”

“If she just stepped out for an errand then why did Tony just ask who she disappeared with?” Ryder cut her off.

Marie, who was eating one of the pieces of toast, stopped chewing. She swallowed roughly and asked, “Ah’m sorry what?”

“Tony just told me that she disappeared with someone,” Ryder explained. “So, which is it? Is she gone or is she gonna be back soon?”

“For fuck’s sake,” Kitty’s voice grumbled as she came down the hallway. “Case had a date…not that hard to understand.”

“But she’s not home yet,” Ryder frowned.

“Date went well,” Kitty said as she reached the counter, “Is there coffee?”

Marie pointed to the coffee maker, “Kitty, that was a secret!”

“Please, we’re all adults here,” Kitty rolled her eyes, grabbing a mug from the drainboard near the sink before helping herself to coffee, “Just because Case was too chicken to say she wanted to have a weekend alone with someone doesn’t mean I have to be.”

“Well who did she go away with?” Ryder asked.

Kitty drank a few sips of her coffee, then shrugged her shoulders, “Now that one I’m not at liberty to say.”

“You were okay with saying she went to go have sex, but not who with?”

“Well, why _else_ would Case be disappearing like this for the weekend?” Kitty asked. “She didn’t tell us a name, just that she wanted some alone time.”

“But what if something happens to her?”

“Nothing’s gonna happen to Case that she won’t want to happen,” Marie chuckled as she too raised a coffee mug to her mouth.

The elevator door hissed open, and in walked Steve with the blanket still draped across his shoulders. He walked over to Ryder and asked, “Why is your apartment so effing _cold?_”

“It’s not cold, it’s comfortable,” Ryder frowned.

“I’m _freezing!_” Steve said, tightening the blanket around his shoulders. “Why the hell would you think that is _comfortable?_”

Ryder mulled that one over, “I’m Canadian.”

“You haven’t lived in Canada since you were _five_,” Steve rolled his eyes, moving away from Ryder to plop down on the sofa. He looked at Kitty and Marie, and frowned as he asked, “Where’s Case?”

“With any luck having a fantastic round of morning sex,” Kitty answered.

Suddenly Ryder’s stomach churned, and he made a gagging noise as Steve’s eyebrows went up, “With who?”

“That’s Case’s secret to share.”

“You okay _sugah?_” Marie asked Ryder, who had gone pale and was leaning against the counter.

“Ryder can’t handle the fact his sister’s not an innocent virgin anymore,” Steve chuckled. As he caught Ryder’s glare, he added, “Yeah, yeah, Brooklyn Bridge, I know.”

“So…we know what she is doing,” Ryder said, swallowing roughly as he stood straighter, leaning against the counter for support, “Any idea as to when she’s going to be home?”

“Ah believe she said Sunday evening or Monday morning at the latest,” Marie answered.

“Great…” Ryder mumbled under his breath. An uneasy feeling started to settle in, and he asked, “Hey Steve, you wanna catch a movie later?”

“Oh uh…” Steve chewed on his lip, “I actually had plans with Sharon later…”

Ryder blinked, “So let me get this straight…you and Case have dates for the weekend…and I’m gonna be sitting here _alone?_”

“Sounds about right,” Kitty concluded.

Ryder blinked for a few moments then started rubbing at his temples, mumbling, “It’s like some horrible nightmare…”

“Don’t be so dramatic, you’ll be fine,” Steve rolled his eyes. “I’m sure Natasha will be around—”

_“If I may interject, Captain Rogers,”_ Jarvis cut in. _“Agent Romanoff had received an urgent message from Agent Barton and left early this morning.”_

“Well, maybe Tony—”

_“Sir will be heading to Malibu within the hour,”_ Jarvis continued. _“He will be spending the week with Miss Potts.”_

Ryder sighed, “How ‘bout the two of you?”

“Sorry _sugah,_” Marie said sympathetically. “Ah have plans with Remy this weekend.”

Ryder frowned, “I thought you two split up.”

“We did,” Marie admitted with a sigh. “We’re trying to work things out.”

Shoulders slumping, he asked, “What about you, Kitty?”

Kitty shook her head, “Sorry man, but I’ve gotta run some training simulations with the newer recruits this weekend…”

“Okay,” Ryder gave a nod. “Hey, it’s cool, guess I’ll just have the place to myself.”

“Sorry about that—”

“Steve, it’s fine,” Ryder cut him off. “Go enjoy your time with Sharon, I’ll be fine.”

* * *

“Not fine…not by a long shot,” Ryder admitted. He now had a plate of pancakes in front of him with a second covered in eggs and sausage, all of which had gone ignored. “I’m not good at being alone…when we were kids, we all hung out as a group. Then there was high school and girls and…what?”

“Are you trying to tell me you’ve never spent a weekend alone in your _life_?”

Ryder frowned, “Well…”

“Seriously?”

“Well…I _was_ grounded some weekends,” Ryder admitted. As Sam continued to stare at him in disbelief, Ryder sighed, “Hell I don’t remember…that was a long time ago, a lifetime of memories…and a lot of bar hopping.”

“Bar hopping?”

“You’ve seen me and Case drink,” Ryder told him. “You really think I’d be able to get drunk at _one_ place?”

Sam frowned, “I never really thought about it…”

“Yeah…while it takes a few drinks of Asgard’s finest it takes a hell of a lot more regular booze to knock me on my ass,” Ryder pointed out.

“But in all seriousness, was that why you felt the impending doom?”

“Not sure,” Ryder admitted with a frown. “I know I could feel the usual guilt and just overall depression creeping up on me. When I have someone to talk to, I can distract myself.”

“You couldn’t have known what would happen,” Sam pointed out.

“I know…but it still hurts,” Ryder sighed. “And aside from that it’s hard to process the roles my parents played in the matter.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, my mom was one of Bucky’s handlers,” Ryder explained. “Spent a lot of years helping them turn him into the Winter Soldier.”

“Wow…” Sam frowned thoughtfully. “I mean, Case told me she was alive, but I didn’t know the woman was that involved.”

“Yeah…” Ryder said softly. “And apparently she was in Siberia too.”

Sam mulled that over and his eyebrows rose, “Ah…that explains a few things she said.”

Ryder hummed at that, “But apparently my Mom’s decided to come stateside.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Nope,” Ryder shook his head, “And then proceeded to panic because she couldn’t reach Case.”

* * *

**Saturday Night - Washington DC**

Ryder unlocked the door to his apartment in DC, yawning loudly as he stepped into the foyer and locked the door behind him. He dropped his keys in a bowl by the door and headed down the hall, making his way to what his building management affectionately called the “sleeping alcove” of his studio, not bothering to turn on any light switches as he moved.

He rounded the corner, kicking off his boots as he reached his “bedroom”, tossing his motorcycle jacket on the bed as he dropped his jeans to the floor, kicking them out of the way as he headed for his dresser, opting for his favorite pajama pants instead.

Stretching the kinks out of his back Ryder yanked the black cotton gloves away from his hands and threw them on the dresser and grabbed a remote from the surface as he headed back toward the living room area, pressing one of the buttons as he stopped in his kitchen – basically the row of appliances that ran along the outer wall of his bedroom.

Scratchy music from an old-time horror film filled the air, followed by a voice announcing, _“Shocking terror beyond your imagination! Wednesday Thirteen in ‘I Walked with a Zombie’!”_

As guitar music filled the air next, Ryder reached up and grabbed a packet of ramen out of one of the overhead cabinets, then a pot from one of the lower cabinets. He filled the pot with water then put it on the stove to boil, he squeezed the packet of noodles, breaking them into pieces as he started singing along, _“I__'m damned if I voodoo, and I'm dead if I don't. Kick the crypt and baby walk with me, and we'll find a new place to haunt. Now the dead can't die, they're not alive, I've got one walking by my side—”_

The music cut off instantly, as Ryder continued as if nothing had happened, _“It's a curse, a hex, tell me what comes next. Tie the noose around my neck—”_

“Ryder…”

Ignoring the speaker, Ryder added, _“See you in the graveyard at midnight. Such a horrifying delight. Your ice-cold touch, it feels so right!”_

“Ryder,” The voice was firmer this time.

_“And just last night, I walked with a zombie, zombie, zombie. I walked with a zombie, zombie, zombie. I walked with a zombie—”_

_“Ryder James!”_

Ryder cut off his drawn out ‘ee’ on zombie, and turned around to face the speaker, “Yes? Can I help you?”

She frowned at him, “You don’t seem shocked that I’m here…in fact the way you were belting out that drivel I didn’t think you’d noticed me.”

“First of all, Wednesday Thirteen is not _drivel,_” Ryder scowled.

“_‘I walked with a zombie’?”_ Her eyebrows rose. “You actually call that music?”

“I’ve heard you feel that way about quite a few bands,” Ryder deadpanned. “You gonna try and erase Wednesday Thirteen the way you took Queen from Case?”

The color of her face dropped a shade or two, “Ryder—”

“What do you want, Mom?”

Kayla’s shoulders slumped, “How did you even know I was here?”

“It’s that floral shit you call perfume,” Ryder said, glancing at the pot of water before folding his arms across his chest. “It’ll give you away every time.”

“I forgot you had your father’s nose.”

“Among other things,” Ryder admitted. He watched as she turned and crossed the room, opening the curtains hiding the glass doors to his terrace. “Why are you opening my curtains?”

“Unlike you, I can’t see in the dark.”

“Then maybe you should take a hint and leave.”

“Ryder—”

“Why the hell did you decide that breaking into my apartment was the best idea?”

“Well if you had actually taken my calls—”

“Again, take the hint.”

“Regardless of what’s happened Ryder James I am still your mother!” Kayla snapped.

Ryder gave a humorless laugh, and shook his head, “Boy you really do have a set of brass ones. As far as I’m concerned, you haven’t been my mother in over ninety years. You walked away from us and you never looked back!”

Kayla looked away, “That’s not—”

“Why now?” Ryder demanded. With a sigh he turned off the stove and moved the pot off the burner.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you doing this now?” Ryder asked. “You didn’t give a shit about us all this time—”

“I’m trying to make sure neither of you bring Hydra to your doorsteps!”

Ryder gave a snort, and with a wave of his arm added, “And yet here you are.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“If they come, let them,” Ryder rolled his eyes. “We’ll take ‘em out, one by one. And when the next head rises, we’ll take it out too.”

“And what about the Asset?” Kayla demanded, “What’ll you do if _he_ comes across your doorstep?”

Ryder’s right eye twitched, and he growled out, “_Never_ call him that again.”

“Oh, excuse me, I forgot he’s the lust of your sister’s life.”

Ryder felt a wave of nausea make his stomach churn, “God don’t say that either.”

“Ryder—”

“Just get out of my apartment,” Ryder sighed. “There’s nothing I want to say to you.”

“Look, forgive me that I don’t use the Asset’s proper name—”

“His _name_ is James Barnes!” Ryder shouted at her, causing her mouth to shut with a snap. “His nickname is Bucky, and it’s what he goes by. If you’re going to talk about him at _all_ you _will_ use his name…if you insist on calling him ‘The Asset’ then mother or not I will hurl you over the side of my balcony and not think twice about it.”

Kayla’s shoulders slumped, and she whispered, “This is so messed up.”

“Yeah, shocking really,” Ryder rolled his eyes. “The son you abandoned showing more loyalty to the friend he grew up with, who protected him in more ways than you ever did.” 

“So, I’ll take that as a you haven’t seen him?”

“I haven’t seen the man since he pulled a gun on Steve and asked, ‘Who the hell is Bucky’?” Ryder deadpanned. _She does not need to know about the Smithsonian sighting…_

“And I assume you’d lie and say you haven’t?”

“I’ve been told multiple times I’m a terrible liar,” Ryder shrugged. “But I haven’t had any contact, no.”

Kayla gave a nod, then asked, “I also want to know, where’s your sister?”

Ryder blinked, and repeated, “‘Where’s my sister’?”

“Yes. I tried calling her and the message said she’d gone outside the service area.”

Ryder sighed, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know,” His mother repeated.

“That’s right, I don’t know,” Ryder snapped. “Last I saw her was last night at the party. A few of her friends said she was going out for the weekend and she’d be back on Monday.”

“Well, where did she go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Who’d she go off with?”

“Dunno that either.”

“So, what _do_ you know?”

“What I just told you.”

Kayla’s eyes narrowed in frustration. “Your sister disappears for the weekend and you know _nothing_ about it?”

Ryder’s jaw clenched, “I am _not_ Case’s keeper. What she does and who she does it with is her own business.”

If he was being honest, however, after enough arguments about a 1903 Springfield rifle and a M1941 Johnson sniper rifle that began with the benefits of the rifles and usually devolved into arguments of “I know you are but what am I?”, Ryder was pretty sure Stark was right on the money about who Case was with and what she was doing…that and Marie and Kitty knew _exactly_ who Case had disappeared with, but he couldn’t actually prove it.

“Ryder!”

Ryder blinked, “What?”

“Your sister is missing and you’re here trying to cook ramen listening to terrible music!”

Ryder rolled his eyes, “Case is not _missing_.”

“Her cell phone is outside—”

“She went on a vacation!” Ryder said in exasperation. “She decided she wanted to skip town for the weekend, there’s nothing wrong with that!”

“How do you know she’s safe?”

“Because she’s a highly trained superhero. If she’s in trouble she knows what to do.”

“Ryder—”

“Case has every right to want to go on vacation, and as an adult she owes no explanation to anyone,” Ryder snapped. “And it’s none of your damn business either!”

“She’s my _daughter—”_

“The daughter who you walked out on in nineteen twenty-three,” Ryder was shouting now. “The daughter who _begged_ you to let the man she loved go free, to which you said he was merely a weapon!”

“What do you think the Asset was?”

With a loud roar Ryder grabbed her by the throat and slammed her against a nearby wall. He leaned in close and growled, “Your _Asset_, was one of my best friends. A man that I grew up with, who backed me up in fights and vice versa. Bucky Barnes was my brother in all but blood.” When Kayla opened her mouth, he added, “Who gave me the order to let him go at the factory, to keep _me_ safe. He didn’t want _anyone_ there finding out what I really was.” He finally let go of her throat and stepped back, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

Kayla’s voice was slightly raspy has she asked, “Do you have any idea what he’s done over the last seventy years?”

“Do you have any idea how close you are to going over that balcony over there?” Ryder said, pointing to the glass door. “Because I’m getting really tired of this shit.”

“Ryder James—”

“You can keep saying my name, but it won’t change anything,” Ryder snapped. “My loyalty will _always_ lie with him. It will _never_ be yours.”

* * *

“After that she stormed out of my apartment and slammed the door shut behind her,” Ryder stated, as he finally started eating his food.

Mostly because Sam kept glaring at him until he took at least one bite.

“Wow…”

“Not my proudest moment, I’ll admit,” Ryder said in between bites. He chewed his pancake slowly and swallowed before adding, “The fact she just…_dismisses_ it, like it was perfectly normal what they did to him. Like she _believes_ he was just an object for them to toy with.”

“To her he was,” Sam pointed out. At the glare Ryder gave him he added, “It doesn’t justify it and words can’t even describe how terrible it is to treat someone like that, but that’s all she knew him as.”

“She _knew_ he was Sergeant James Barnes,” Ryder told him. “She said she was in Zola’s lab, so while she didn’t know him personally, she knew of him _before_ they did that to him.”

Sam mulled that over, “So she knew him as Zola’s science experiment.”

Ryder slumped in his seat, “I guess…”

Sam gazed at him for a moment, then said, “You can’t blame yourself for what she did to him.”

“I don’t—” When Sam’s eyebrows rose, he sighed, “Fine, I do.”

“But you’re not her.”

“I’m a tactile hypnotist.”

“You share a mutation,” Sam pointed out. “Plus, despite everything she is your mother, so there’s gonna be similarities regardless. But _you_ are not _her_…you are Ryder Howlett, a Howling Commando, an Avenger…a _hero_. Even though you followed orders to let him go you did your best to protect your best friend and would have gladly gone in his place if need be. Do you think she would have done the same?”

“Sounds like Mommy-Dearest was more concerned with making sure nobody in that facility knew she and Case were related,” Ryder grumbled.

“Point proven. You are not her any more than Case is Logan…their choices and mistakes are their own.”

At the mention of his father Ryder grit his teeth, “Yeah, I know. But…it’s hard to move past, you know?”

“I’ll bet,” Sam nodded. “Believing someone was long gone, only to find out they were alive and hurt someone you care about…it’s fair to be angry, just don’t blame yourself. She might be blood, but the blood on her hands isn’t yours.”

Ryder frowned thoughtfully, “Interesting point…”

“And one we’ll get back to in a few moments,” Sam added, “Sounds like this is going to be something recurring with you, which I don’t blame you for in the slightest, but it’s not the only reason you called me.”

Ryder gave a nod, “True…but I ran into the closet after that, don’t remember much just that I was just…really angry and I couldn’t breathe, so I ran and hid.”

Sam’s eyebrows rose, “You hid because you were angry?”

Ryder took a deep breath, then let it out slowly as he admitted, “I hid so I could curl into a ball and cry my eyes out. Not the most masculine thing to admit but…there it is. I…I was just so angry at her, and I _hate_ what she did to Bucky, and the fact she just let them have at Case…” His hands were clenched into fists, and he was glaring at his food. “And…that reaction…the _dismissal_ in her tone. Like _I’m_ the one that doesn’t understand how the world works, that I shouldn’t be angry about what she did because he was their _weapon_. I guess it just sent me over the edge.” He took off the glasses, revealing bloodshot eyes as he rubbed them once again, before putting them back on. “When I calmed down a bit, I debated about calling Case. Wasn’t sure if she had her Stark Phone on her, but…”

Sam waited but Ryder trailed off and went silent. “But…?” He prompted.

Ryder sighed, “I didn’t want to interrupt her weekend. If I had a problem, then odds were good she’d come racing home and I’d feel even worse that she finally got a weekend away that had to end on a bad note.”

“That’s considerate.”

“Also became a moot point.”

* * *

Ryder was curled up on the floor of his closet, a sweatshirt sleeve caught in his hair while the other shirts were bunched around his shoulders, quiet snores coming from his mouth. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the Stark Phone in his hand began to ring, and he fumbled it a bit before getting a solid grip.

He slid his thumb across the screen and squinted as his tired eyes adjusted, “Hel…_Case?_”

_“Hey, hypno-hands,”_ his sister’s face smiled brightly on his phone screen. Her hair was a mess around her head, and she was wearing what appeared to be an oversized red Henley – it definitely was _not_ one of the many shirts that she owned. _“Did ya miss me?”_

With a groan Ryder rubbed at his eyes, which felt sticky and dried out as he said, “Vaguely.” When he noticed Case’s frown, he added, “Oh come on, Shorty. You know I missed you.”

_“That’s not what I meant,”_ Case told him. _“You’re not lookin’ so good.”_

Ryder gave a yawn, “I was asleep when you called me…and I’ve seen you in the morning, you’re no prize yourself.”

Case was squinting at the screen, _“Those look like shirt sleeves…” _Her eyebrows went up as she asked, _“Are you in your _closet_?”_

Ryder looked up, face going into his sweatshirt, and his voice was muffled as he answered, “It would appear so, yes.”

_“Okay, I’m coming home—”_

“No!” Ryder yelled out, shaking the shirts from his face.

Case looked worried, _“Look, sleepless nights are one thing, but if you’ve gone back to hiding in closets—”_

“I’ll call Sam in the morning,” Ryder cut in. “I’m in DC this weekend, I’ll give him a call.”

_“But…” _She still did not sound convinced, and the worry on her face made Ryder’s heart sink.

“Case, I’ll be fine,” He assured her, even plastered a smile on his face. “Plus…I can’t ever interrupt someone having earth-shattering sex.” He swallowed roughly, “Even if it is my sister.”

Case glanced at someone out of view of the camera with a cocked eyebrow, _“It was pretty amazing, huh?”_

“Case…”

_“But that’s not the point,” _Case shook her head. _“If you’re feeling that low that you’ve gone back to hiding in closets—”_

“It’s just the one time…”

_“What triggered it?”_

“Hypnotoad decided to pay me a personal visit,” Ryder sighed. “Came home and there she was.”

Case’s eyes widened, _“She _what_? Are you okay?”_

“I’m fine, it’s not like she’d hurt me.” He frowned as he remembered the video of the two of them in Siberia, and chewed on his lip, “I mean—”

_“What did she want?”_

“She was looking for you.”

Case frowned at that, worry gone and replaced with anger, _“Why?”_

“Because apparently your regular cell phone has gone outside the service area,” Ryder explained.

The frown deepened, _“And?”_

“And apparently she thought I knew where you were, and then proceeded to try and make me feel like shit because I didn’t.”

_“It’s none of her fucking business!”_

“That’s what I said,” Ryder agreed. “You’re entitled to a weekend alone and if she doesn’t like it then too fucking bad.”

_“Still…aside from…” _Case sighed, _“Well…_that…_I think it might be best—”_

“Case don’t ruin your weekend over me,” Ryder told her.

_“But how am I supposed to enjoy the rest of my weekend when I’m worrying about you?”_

Ryder chuckled, “Case, if you can still find the energy to worry about me after the earth-shattering, clearly he’s doing something wrong.”

Case’s cheeks went red and she looked at her companion. Ryder could see a shadow shift as Case’s hand shot out, _“Put your fucking hand down!”_

“Didn’t like that, did he?”

_“You’re getting flipped off right now.”_

“Truth hurts sometimes.”

_“Well on that happy note, I have a bruised ego to fix,”_ Case said with a roll of her eyes. _“Please promise me you’ll call Sam.”_

“I told you I would,” Ryder said with a frown.

_“You say a lot of things, doesn’t mean you’ll follow through,”_ Case deadpanned. _“I’ll see you Monday.”_

“Monday,” Ryder gave a nod as the call ended.

* * *

Sam was frowning at him again.

“What?”

“You make others a priority,” Sam observed. “While you take a backseat.”

Ryder frowned, “I don’t follow.”

“You needed someone to talk to, and even wanted to call your sister, but you didn’t want to bother her because she was on vacation.”

“Well, yeah, I mean—”

“Have you done anything just for _you?_”

Ryder frowned at that, “I…”

“You’ve been looking into Case’s time in Siberia,” Sam pointed out. “When you’re not ‘helping’ Steve look for Bucky.”

“Yeah…”

“I mean, I guess one could argue that the Siberia thing was you…but prompted by Case,” Sam said thoughtfully. “But have you ever done anything sperate from the others?”

Ryder thought that over, “I enlisted in the military.” At Sam’s disbelieving look, he said, “I’m serious! I enlisted at twenty.”

“And…how did that go?”

Ryder huffed, “I realized I didn’t know how to function without the other three. I struggled a lot since it was the first time on my own.”

“And the military life itself?”

“Could’ve gone better.”

Sam frowned, “Care to elaborate?”

“I enlisted when I was twenty,” Ryder deadpanned. “That was what…nineteen thirty-eight? By the time I made it to corporal in forty-two Bucky swooped in as my CO.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Well when I got my orders I think I read the paper five times before I truly understood what I was seeing…I think I read it another twenty before it _truly_ sank in that I was reporting to _Bucky_ of all people,” Ryder sighed. “I guess…it gave me a sense of déjà vu.”

“Really.”

“Well, I didn’t know Bucky till I was six,” Ryder shrugged. “From that point I was following him…mostly Steve since we were tryin’ to keep him outta trouble, but you get the idea. I mean, I can’t necessarily say Bucky was the leader of the group, the balance of power was pretty equal between the four of us, depending on the situation. But then I enlisted and spent most of that time trying to learn how to survive without my circle of friends…only to be brought back to square one four years later by reporting to Sergeant James Barnes.”

Both were silent for a few moments as Ryder’s words sank in.

After getting all of that off his chest Ryder started to feel better than he had in ages – he felt like some of the weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was a small portion, but it was a start. He picked up his fork to finish what was remaining of his now cold breakfast and was chewing on his next bite of pancake when Sam spoke up again.

“What did Logan do?”

Ryder frowned thoughtfully, and swallowed before asking, “What do you mean?”

“You explained your mother was one of his handlers,” Sam explained. “But you specifically mentioned the roles your parents played in all of it. What role did your father play, because I thought you said Logan didn’t know what was happening?”

With a sigh Ryder put down his knife and fork, and pushed the food away, finally giving up on the food as his appetite disappeared again. He took a deep breath, “He didn’t…but that’s also where the problem lies.”

“I don’t follow.”

Ryder took another breath and said, “So…last summer was the last time I saw my dad in person. Last time we had a semi-civil conversation as well.”

“What?” Sam asked, shocked.

Ryder nodded, “It…it didn’t end well, and some truths came to light that Case and I…we weren’t necessarily ready for them, but had they been presented in a different way things might have gone different.”

“Such as?”

Ryder’s fists clenched again, “Well, you know the first one, that our mother is alive. Our father not only knew she was alive but also knew she ran back to Hydra, and apparently told Uncle Victor to not tell us either.” He took another breath, trying to relax and slowly unclench his fingers. “And while we were beyond furious about it…we could have overlooked it. If not for the _other_ part…”

Sam frowned, “The _other_ part?”

Ryder nodded, “Yeah…see, while it’s hard to fault him for it…we’re still trying to move past the fact he _could’ve_ stopped it. The potential was there.”

“How?”

“In nineteen forty-six my dad crossed paths with an assassin,” Ryder sighed. “Black mask over his mouth, goggles covering his eyes…and a metal left arm with a red star on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per the usual, I'm using Google Translate, so I apologize in advance if these translations are wrong.
> 
> “What is it, Jarv…?” -- Qu'est-ce que c'est, Jarv  
“Five more minutes…” -- Cinq minutes de plus…  
“I’m up! I’m up!” -- Je suis debout, Je suis debout  
“Smartass computer” -- Ordinateur Smartass


End file.
